Burned out

scifigal, I'm so sorry you're feeling so down. It is hard to have Crohn's. It is hard to have a tiny baby. It is really really hard to be struggling with both simultaneously.

I want to gently suggest that your current struggles are not the norm. You can have a solid remission on remicade and not worry about minor infections - many people on this forum do that. I think you are minimizing the impact of your pregnancy in your thoughts about this - post partum flares are quite common and I suggest that this combined with your breastfeeding challenges have led to your difficulties.

Please consider taking a giant step back from breastfeeding. Give your body the chance to focus on one thing at a time - healing your bowel and staying clear of infectious critters. If you stop breastfeeding your caloric intake will be just for you. You'll get more sleep, which is probably critical to a quick recovery. And then you will be able to enjoy your daughter so much more.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Oh Scifi - I know this is hard. You will get to the other side. Look after yourself the best you can and use your support system to help you through this. Always feel free to vent here.

Sending you much love...

Scifigal, I am sorry you are having such a rough time. I agree with Kazbern very much. I would also like to share that my worst flare-up was when my youngest was about 2-3 mos old. It was horrible. Remicade quit working and I was a mess. I had the big D from drinking even water, i was way over tired (very colicky baby), and my hormones were all over the place with the changes in my body. After starting humira and entocort along withsome serious rest and taking care of me i started to feel better. I ended up on only the Humira and for the last 6 years have enjoyed a pretty good run. It's only recently that I've had some issues. Don't give up hope. You may feel better soon. I sincerely wish that for you.

Thank you all so much. I really appreciate your kind words. @kazbern, the fact that it's post-partum flaring didn't occur to me at all!

I feel a lot better now; I knew I would. I think I just needed to have a good vent and cry, lol.

Oh god you poor thing! And big ol' fat post partum flare here, after being in remission for a good 8 or so years! So let's cross our fingers we can both get things under control and have another nice period of remission, hang in there girl, you've really had a rough run! X

Thanks guys. :) The CD seems to be getting back under control now that the c. diff. is almost gone and the Remicade is kicking in! Yay! But the thrush is still here and I'm still in the hospital while they try to figure out what exactly to do about the clot. I'm getting lots of blood thinners and we'll go from there. But since tomorrow is my last day of the anti-fungals for the thrush, they may just have me stay through tomorrow and get it here in the IV and that way not have to put another PICC line in. Depends on if the thrush symptoms are all cleared up or not. It's getting better, but they're not all gone completely yet.

Having a PICC line makes me want to have a port so badly. It's nice to go to the ER and not have to wait to be stuck before getting pain meds.