Having a hard time coping.

I have been having a hard time with the death of a friend. When I was so sick and in the hospital she was in another hospital. I was severely anemic, the 6MP i was on made me have a toxic liver.my white cell count was so low I was put in isolation. My GI wasn't to sure I would make it. After 16 days I finally felt good enough to go home. :).

My friend also was having liver problems. She ended up having several feet of her small intestine removed. They found cancer in her liver and a mass in her pancerous. She had chemo. More cancer was found. She passed away 2 weeks ago.

What is bothering me is that we were sick at the same time. My health got better. Hers didn't. I am so thankful for my health improving. All I can think about is I am feeling good and she got the crap in of the deal. I am just so very sad.

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. It sounds like you have "survivor's guilt." It's not your fault that she didn't make it and you couldn't be there with her, but it still really feels bad. I was diagnosed with my Crohn's shortly after my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and I was in the hospital myself with anemia, while she went through her first round of chemo in another city. I wanted so badly to be there with her, so I can relate a little bit to how you are feeling. Take good care of yourself. I hope you have good support around you. You might consider a local grief support group if you need to process your feelings.

I am so sorry for your loss sending HUGS your way.

Jojowell. I am so sorry about your loss. I have twins Boy/Girl.They are best friends and would be lost without the other. I am trying real hard to heal myself. I have a family that loves me very much and I want to be around for them. Thanks for the kind words. :)