Meltdowns, Fatigue, and Crohn's Flares

Do any of you have an emotional meltdown a day or two before flaring, or when you have to push past the limits of your fatigue? There seems to be a pattern with me, but it may just be me.

I've been in the caretaker role for years and I've been past my limit for so long. There are days I don't think I can go on anymore. But these meltdowns are not helping family relations.

So sorry Rem.

All I am lately is an emotional meltdown. My primary doctor even said I've just been through too much this year, and it's caught up with me. I wasn't sleeping good in weeks (like 2-3 hours straight only). It was wearing on me, I had severe anxiety. Couldn't relax, was just so restless. Then of course all my flare symptoms came back, diarrhea, cramping, pain, joint pain etc...

Finally able to sleep with some phenegran and a klonopin at night. But I feel so emotionally drained. Just knowing I have to pick myself back up and go in for probably more testing and try yet another medication seems daunting to me.

Who me?! I'd say mine is more so when I've pushed myself past physical and emotional limits. I actually snapped at a woman in Walmart on Sunday when she loudly proclaimed "I would never go in the handicap stall. What if someone came in who needed it?" Then after I got home my husband did something stupid and I had a melt down. What can we expect when our own bodies are letting us down??

Thanks for all the comments; misery does love company in my case. The meltdowns I have make me wonder sometimes if I am mildly bipolar (it's in my family) and it's a manic phase but my body is just too fatigued for me to act out on it to a bigger extent. It's like a different person, a very angry one, just explodes and wants to crash through the walls. These episodes usually calm down within hours and my depression feels worse, plus I feel awful for being out of control. And then I realize, oh crap, I'm probably starting a flare. I've seen a pattern going back decades. Maybe I'm just an emotional basketcase looking for an excuse.

Habs, I have thought of counseling and it's been recommended to me, but I've gone that route before and for me, wasn't impressed with the "help" I got from a local counseling center. A nurse I dealt with during a research study told me I really need to see someone because the research included that standard psychiatric questionnaire and my numbers were terrible as to depression. She also recommended my seeing someone outside of my area where no one knows me. But that takes energy that I don't have to drive 90 miles one way.

Due to our daughter's almost boy-in-the-bubble existence, we had to limit our physical contact with people, including church (some people just don't understand when you tell them you really don't need to shake hands-a big thing in churches here), which has been one of the sadder things since church life was a big part of our lives. My faith is taking a pretty good beating at the moment but it's still there. I've never really fit in anywhere anyway, but it's lonely.

I used to cry on my mother's shoulder and she's gone now. We've lost all our close family to death (2 suicides, one more recently), which is depressing, but my parents lived long lives and it was their time. It's watching our daughter go slowly down and not being able to do anything about it that's the hard part. And me running out of energy to be her caretaker, which is requiring more everyday.

I'm glad I found this site I felt for awhile tht nobody understand my emotions r so weak now frm the last 7 months of numerous doc spots two scopes n 7 months 1 Endo scope etc.. Etc... 6 hospitalization an I still where I was for most part 7 months ago I'm currently on 12 different meds found out I also hav anklosing spondylitis an host of other conditions get ready to hav start disability process an I'm only 37. As I sit here reading I'm tearing up its hard keep the mind strong when everything else is so weak overwhelmed confused an so lost. I REFUSE TO B DEFEATED

I think the common thread in this post is that we need to remember we aren't alone or the only one with these feelings. And that we need to not put it aside and think things will just pass. After my PCP put me on antidepressants a couple of years ago the mood swings all but stopped and I was amazed that I could function so much better.

Jasanne -- sending ((hugs)) and prayers your way.