gumby, you ok?

Maybe I missed it, but I don't recall seeing a post from you about your colonoscopy, and how you're feeling. I hope you're doing well, and had a good holiday.

PV

Sounds like you are doing at least somewhat better. I wonder if you need to try an elimination diet perhaps. Cdiff does a number on your colon, so you may have post infectious ibs. My husband had that. He reintroduced foods extremely slowly over like 9 months. The good news with post infectious ibs at least from what I've observed with my husband is that it does go away. I hope you find the same.

I've been hanging in there. I got a Pap smear come back recently with hsil (high grade changes); I'm both puzzled and concerned about it. I go in for a biopsy next week. I read that all cases of hsil Pap smear results are caused by the hpv virus, but every Pap smear I've had was also tested for hpv routinely and it was always negative, including with this one. Also, my husband is my only sex partner, and he had one prior girlfriend. So, I find my results puzzling. And I'm concerned because obviously this can be nothing good. Oh well, I'll just keep going and hope for the best; the good news is cervical changes are very treatable.

Also, my husband is having inflammation in his eye because of crohns - nothing too bad, and he's taking steroid eye drops for it. I did take a break and go to Hawaii over Christmas and new year before this started, so at least I got to enjoy my vacation. My animals are all hanging in there, and my dad is slowly recovering and learning how to live again after a heart attack. My mom has less medical anxiety (she's being treated for anxiety, depression and panic disorder) after all the stuff that happened with my dad.

I guess we will all have periods where life is just crappy, but for now, I'm doing ok; anxious about some things, but managing. I hope you are improving, can take some rest after the holidays to aid in getting better.

((Hugs))
PV

She did a colposcopy, and said everything looks normal, she found nothing to biopsy. She took a sample through ECC of the cervical canal to get pathology about the inside part of the cervix.

I am scheduled for a LEEP procedure wed afternoon, which maybe both diagnostic and treatment. It'll give a big sample for pathologists to test, and see what they can find. Hopefully, it'll be minor or nothing.

It is always something isn't it? I think my experience with my husband's Crohn's disease when he was first diagnosed, always makes me think of bad outcomes - he went from one incident of ulcerative proctitis, to cdiff and hospitalization, and crohns and foot drop, and being screened for MS, and losing 50 lbs and starting remicade and battling cdiff for over a year. My psychologist even told me I have something she likes to call medical post traumatic stress disorder. This makes me always expect the worst when stuff comes up, and I find it so hard to find the positives or stay optimistic. I'm working on it.

How do you cope? How about your husband? I took a long walk today to calm myself down, and it sorta helped. I've been trying to learn mandarin through Rosetta stone, but I suck especially when my brain doesn't wsnt to cooperate.

I'm hanging in there, I hope you are too, and that you are having a good weekend.

Thanks gumby. I'm doing better this evening. I just needed to have a good cry. I got a notice from the bank that my checking account was overdrawn. I usually keep at least $5k buffer in there. So, I went and checked and there was an entry in there for Misc withdrawal for $7077. When I looked at the pic of the debit, it said something about family catering services. Since the bank (suntrust by the way) was closed, I decided to look up family catering services and gave them a call. And sure enough the lady made a withdrawal, but she was trying to do so from her account. Suntrust made a typo or something, and the money was instead taken out of my account.

Last night, my cat with cancer didn't want to eat dinner and curled up in his little cave just like he did when the vet said the tumor was constricting his trachea not allowing him to eat or swallow. But thankfully this morning, he started eating again, but I'm still worried about him.

Between my health issues, my cat, my hubby's eyes still being red and irritated despite steroid drops, and the bank mistake - that was sorta the last straw. I bawled my eyes out, and now, surprisingly, I'm fine. I guess it was cathartic. I still have to go to the bank tomorrow to sort out their mistake . . .

Health insurance is definitely a must for us. Don't feel bad about your husband having to work; it is a partnership, and if the tables were turned, you'd do it for him. That's what I tell my husband whenever he feels bad about limiting my choices.

Are you getting enough calories in you everyday? When you feel bad, you probably don't feel like eating. Make sure you are consuming enough calories. Also, is the dizziness when you stand up suddenly, or is it constant? It could be BP related. If you are on BP meds, and you have a sodium/potassium imbalance, you could be dizzy and fatigued a lot as well. Do check your BP to see if it is normal. Did your blood work include inflammation markers?

you know, one other thing is you have really been through the wringer recently. Surgery, cdiff . . . Very very tough on body. I know when my hubby came out of the hospital, his energy was very very low and he would tire very very easily and needed lots of rest. He only got back to a semblance of his former self like 8 months after he got out of the hospital. He actually worked from home for almost 6 months so that he could sleep whenever he needed to. Maybe your body needs you to be gentle, take plenty of rest and slowly build up. Don't push yourself too hard. And measure progress in weeks not days.

Hang in there. You will get to feeling normal again. ((Hugs))

Thanks for your support!
PV

I am beginning to think my pap was a false positive. I got my ECC test back and it was normal. So, after the high grade abnormal pap, I've tested negative for hpv, had a colposcopy where ny gyn said it looked great, and normal ECC.

Despite that, I went ahead with the LEEP procedure today. I should have pathology results in a week. At this point if that finds something I'll be surprised; though I guess it isn't impossible. I'll let you know how the results turn out; but my worry has eased a little - whatever if it maybe is probably tiny if they can't find it, and hopefully the LEEP got rid of it for me.

The LEEP wasn't painful - they put me under, and I only have very minor discomfort. I hope now I can put this chapter to rest. Doc says I'll have to have paps every 3 months from now on, which will hopefully be very normal. Fingers crossed.

Anyway, that's all my news. Hope your days are slowly improving.

Got the pathology results from leep - completely normal. I had the pathologist retest the pap, and they are saying they still see the high grade dysplasia. Talked to my doctor, and she has no explanation really - says maybe my body healed itself, or the pap sample was damaged/switched, or they somehow didn't find the dysplasia despite all the tests they've done so far. She says in other cases she's seen like this (very rare), the people just went on to have normal paps and nothing more came of it.

So, I will just be followed closely - need to get paps now every 3 months, and if I have another bad pap, then, they may talk further procedures. So, for now, I've been given the clear. She also referred me to a gyn/oncologist who I'll talk to next Tuesday to get a second opinion just to be safe.

Is your cold gone? Are you beating it down? I hope you'll have a good weekend. I am going to make this weekend a meditative weekend to try to get my mind and body calmed down after all this craziness.

I was going to suggest post-infections IBS as well. I hope things are going well for all of you.