Feeling Frustrated and Blue- What to do?

I wasn't sure where to post this, so MODs feel free to move it. I have so many diseases, but I figure I would just stick it here. I have come to this forum for a support group, and to vent. I'm looking for people who are in similar situations like me; who can relate to me. As some days I feel like nobody really understands what I am going through. Friends/people will say if I only did xyz, everything will go away. They just don't understand because they are not in our shoes or in our situations. I have reached my wits end. I am only a 27 year old male and already in a bad state. In my childhood in the early 90's I had severe asthma and allergies. This was the beginning of a bad start. The doctors all told me I would outgrow it. But I never really outgrew it. I am able to control it though thankfully. At 17 I got diagnosed with Crohns disease. This was another blow to my health. And now, just 1.5 years ago, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. This is in addition to psoriasis.

I am in daily pain, whether it's the joints in my knees, arthritis pain in my neck, (as a result of a car accident that wasn't my fault) pain in the joints of my elbows, or my Crohns stomach pain. Some days are better than others. Some days I can get out of bed. Others I have to stay in bed because I am so tired or in pain. I'm really not trying to sound pessimistic or feeling sorry for myself. I hope I don't come off that way, I'm just trying to give a background of my situation. Don't get me wrong, I do have somewhat of a life. I do get to hang out with friends. I do get to go out sometimes. It's not all terrible and bad times. There are plenty of fun, good times that I get to have, and I have some great friends to share it with.

What has been making me so blue and sad lately is I am coming to the realization that I probably will never be able to have a normal life. No getting married. No having children. (I love my nieces and nephews) No being able to get a normal job. No going out whenever I want to. Possibly not even being able to move out of my Mother's house who takes care of me on really bad days. All because of my disability. It's the cold hard truth. I have been supporting myself off of playing casino games professionally, such as poker, and counting cards at Blackjack (Not illegal). Some of you may gasp at this idea, but it has actually worked out quite well. The Casino is really the only place I ever really felt that I belonged; like I felt I was meant to be there. I have built a good nest egg for myself, I don't have a boss, I am able to set my own hours, and I decide when I want to work. I am on Cobra for health insurance which isn't cheap, but at least it's good health insurance. Unfortunately it expires in 2018, and I don't know what I'm going to do, but I will cross that bridge when I have to.

I am (obviously) on a myriad of medications. Hydrocodone, others for anxiety and sleep, Remicade, a list way too long to keep going. Thankfully I don't really have any depression. I have good friends, and I have good people surrounding me. This is a real blessing.

My Rheumatologist wants to switch me from Remicade, which doesn't seem to do anything for my arthritis, but keeps my Crohns at bay, and put me on Symponi. I'm concerned because I just don't want to solve my arthritis problems, and trade it in for my Crohns. I have tried Asacol which was a complete disaster that ended up putting me in the hospital. So my main drugs to keep inflammation at bay have been Remicade since 2007. But it does nothing for the psoriasis and nothing for the arthritis, unfortunately. My two major problems are the arthritis, and the crohns.

I don't know what to do anymore or where the future will take me. Does anyone have any suggestions about medications? Does anyone have any suggestions on activities to do that can stop me from feeling so blue. I know there are many of you out there who are in the same position I am, and together I hope we can help each other through these terrible chronic illnesses.

Wishing all of you well.

StopthePain

No, actually if it wasn't for the Hydrocodone I'd be doing a lot worse off, at least for me. I guess it's just a matter of finding the right combinations of drugs.

I was wondering if anyone on here had Crohns with Arthritis and what they did for it. I did apply for disability and got turned down. I think I will go and see our family insurance agent and ask him what my options are now before my Cobra runs out because once I don't have insurance anymore, I am really done.

I am not saying the pain meds aren't helping other things, because they definitely do! :) I have a good friend with a fused back who's on some pretty strong pain meds (morphine and a fentanyl patch, with hydrocodone for breakthrough) and when she's on them, her emotions and feeling down get pretty bad. However, the pain relief makes her able to feel good about being productive, so it really is a catch-22.

It is EXTREMELY common to be denied for disability the first time you apply. Most disability lawyers will take on your case free of charge or retainer, and when you get your first payment, then they'll take a portion of it (usually 25%) because you get back-paid from when you were first disabled. It motivates them to help you win your disability. It might be worth looking into.

It sounds like therapy would be helpful to you. We all have faced needing to grieve the loss of not being healthy and then re-invent ourselves with our chronic illness. A therapist can help you process your feelings, but also possibly help you with some concrete goal setting for your future. Sorry you are going through all of this