I need to vent!

Well after feeling the best that I have EVER felt in the past 2 weeks....I am back in a flare!  I was doing GREAT!  My Fissures were finally starting to heal, my fistula wasn't painful and I had NO stomach pains! (I should have known it was too good to be true!)  Now I can't eat anything! I ate 2 slices of bread with mayo last night at 8PM and I woke up in horrible pain at 1AM.  A whole 5 hours later!  It was the first night that I was able to go to bed early and sleep on top of it all.  I am trying to take ensures and nothing else but even those are making me sick!  My fistula is killing me.  I feel so much pain and every once in a while I will get this really sharp intense pinch in my bottom that will make me drop whatever it is that I have in my hands and hold on to something so that I don't fall from how bad the pain is.  It will only last a few seconds but it's really intense and it comes out of nowhere!  I can't do this anymore!  I can deal with the stomach pains and diarreah if I have to but the fistula and fissures are just out of control.  The stomach pains go away after a few minutes of going to the bathroom but the butt pain stays for hours!  It's so intense!  The doctors can't do much for me.  They want to give me a fistula plug but that can't be good now when its leaking and in extreme pain.  I am afraid of getting another abcess.  To top it all off I had a friend of mine tell me that it's all in my head and I need to have positive thinking.  If I wake up in pain, I need to tell myself that it doesn't hurt and just keep going!  I also need to not complain as much about how sick I feel and when people ask me how I feel I need to say fine because no one ever wants to hear that I don't feel well.  She also proceeded to continually tell me that she was so angry and upset that I felt this bad.  That she did not understand how I could be doing so well one day and then completely sick the next day.  I lost it this weekend.  How dare she or anyone tell me that they are angry that I feel this way.  That I have to suck it up and lie to people about the way I feel and that I need to have positive thinking.  I flipped!  I told her that this has nothing to do with positive thinking.  I get up and go to work when I can and if the pain is tolerable then I tolerate it but what am I supposed to do when the pain is so bad that I can't function?  If you see me struggle to get up from a chair or sit down am I supposed to lie to you and tell you that it does not hurt when you ask?  I don't go around telling people that I am sick or complaining but if someone asks, especially if they are friends that I speak to almost everyday, then I should be able to say, not good!  What gets to me the most about people like her is that they speak without knowing.  Her sister has MS and when I compared this disease to that one she nearly bit my head off saying that they were completely different things!  I told her absolutely not, that they were actually very similar but just in two different places in the body.  She went on to tell me that her sister and her had Crohn's for many years with the diarreah and the bloody stools and then all of a sudden it went away and that they doctor told them it was a miracle that they no longer had Crohn's.  Since it was not the first time I had heard this, I finally lashed out and told her that she was misdiagnosed because Crohn's doesn't go away like a miracle and that if she trully had Crohn's then she would know what it's like to be fine one minute and not fine the next!  I understand people can get frustrated that they see me in constant pain and discomfort but don't go around telling me that it angers you.  You can feel helpless and frustrated but I am the one in pain so the only that has a right to go around saying that they are angry is ME!!!  Sorry soooooo long and thanks for letting me vent! I needed that!

Thanks. My answers are usually ones like yours. I don't ever go into detail unless they ask and even then my details are usually that my butt hurts or I need a new one. They want to hear me say that I feel fine. This is supposed to be a dear friend that I speak with everyday. When a person I don't speak to very much asks, my answer is always pretty good. I don't like bothering people with my issues because at the end of the day no one gets it but I do expect my close friends to be there and allow me to vent if I need to... I guess that you realize who you can count on when the going gets tough!

Thank you for letting me know that I am not the only one with that pain. It's so frustrating because it just comes out of no where. I hope you feel better and we get out of this mess. One thing for sure, I am completely watching what I eat when I feel fine because I can honestly say that I went nuts the past 2 weeks. It's so hard not to when you feel so great but this was a BIG wake up for me!

I know what you mean, I also had a relapse while feleing so good... it sucks!! People really think they are experts. I have them too. I have a firend that was mad because I did not want to go to her party when I was sick. She has no idea how run down I felt and Alcohol and junk food and being outside in the heat would have made me so much worse.  (it was a memorial day party)   Hang in there, hopefully you will be better soon…   Karen