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Ugh, so frustrated.

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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 11/1/2007 10:26 PM (GMT 0)
I don't know what to do.  I have been feeling like such crapola for the last few weeks and every time I ingest anything I am on the toilet expunging liquid.  You know, your typical garden-hose variety relentless D.  This would be bad in any situation, of course, but I am heading into my big final exams next week.  15 biochemistry lectures, abdominal anatomy, and histology of the lymphatic and GI systems (not to mention our "fluffy" classes like basic psychiatry and clinical medicine).  I can't even get my sorry arse to lectures, let alone sit through them, let alone stay focused. 

I am grossly dehydrated, lost five pounds in the past week, and really jacked electrolytes.  I am exhausted and feel like throwing in the towel.  I don't know how I am going to get through this!  I wonder how I will be a physician if I can't even get my own health under control.

Haven't gotten the Prometheus or stool test results but they'll arrive soon.  In the meantime, the medical assistant at my GI's office simply told me that "the doctor spoke to the endocrinologist and they agreed that your thyroid medication is not likely causing your diarrhea," plus the added bonus that he "believes that the possibility of laxative abuse can be ruled out." Freakin' great.  That really cheers me up.  Sounds like we're really getting somewhere.

Sorry.  I'm just feeling sarcastic and bitter.  Thank you for letting me vent.

Posted 11/1/2007 10:35 PM (GMT 0)
Just basically sending hugs,I think we all have bad days,as a matter of fact I just posted about strictures,aggghhh. I am a nurse,and work closely with a Pediatrician with Chrohns,we are both on Humira,she was in th e hospital about 6mths ago for severe dehydration,she got some IV fluids,and a change of meds and is doing much better now. Hang in there and stay hydrated,is your GI going to see you anytime soon?
Posted 11/1/2007 11:08 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Can you take imodium for a day or two or is it ok with your GI. Sorry your not doing so great and hang in there. Best Wishes. lol gail
Posted 11/1/2007 11:56 PM (GMT 0)
Sarita, no throwing in the towel, okay? You are seeing docs that are trying to get to the bottom of this so hang in there. Question - is there some reason you can't take Lomotil or codeine to control the diarrhea? Allergic? Would either of those compromise your ability to think? Surely the GI you saw knows you are in med school approoaching finals - they should be able to give you something to get the D to slow down. Also, if you are dehydrated, for goodness sakes, go to the health center and get a couple of liters IV. Hugs to you - hang in there!
Posted 11/2/2007 12:16 AM (GMT 0)
Hang in there. At least you are taking your time and actually getting through school. I had to drop out because I couldn't handle all of the stress from being sick. You should give yourself a pat on the back for even trying. Keep your head up, and you will get through this! ((HUGSSS!!!))
Posted 11/2/2007 2:58 AM (GMT 0)

My GI had told me not to take Immodium for a while until this could be figured out, but I think that's not really possible at this point.  So I'm just going to take it until finals are over and Tylenol to keep the low-grade fever at bay.  I'm going to call the clinic tomorrow and see how feasible it would be to get some IV fluids there, that's a good idea...would probably feel much better.

I know I am lucky to be able to see another doc that I like so much.  Thanks so much for your support, everyone; I definitely need it and am grateful for it!

Posted 11/2/2007 3:32 AM (GMT 0)
I hate to say this but some doctor's are idiots, if you've been going to the washroom non-stop with D after you eat, you should be able to take some imodium for relief. However, if its been ongoing for weeks as you mentioned, (and I hate to say this) you should really be in hospital getting IV to get some so-called "food" and vitamin and minerals in you as the longer this goes on you could create a deficiency in something, it happened to me in the past and took 4 months for my potassium levels to get normal on pills. I'm sorry to hear what your going thru, I hope all goes well and you feel better soon! :)
Posted 11/6/2007 6:51 AM (GMT 0)

Hey guys,

Well, I made it through the weekend and even managed to take my biochemistry final this morning.  All I care about this point is passing that hideous class.  It wouldn't be so hideous if I had time to learn the material, I suppose, and also if I wasn't a garden hose...hmm...

Friday I went to the school clinic.  Oh, you know, some run-of-the-mill dehydration, a little orthostatic hypotension, fever, dry mucous membranes, increased heart rate, la la la.  He told me I could probably get by at home on regular ol' Gatorade but thought IV fluids might be necessary over the weekend.  All I can say is, I kicked it into high gear with those fluids AND studied like a madwoman, even on the toilet!

I've been trying so hard to play "doctor" and kind of forgot what it was like to play "patient." Both roles, I think, could use some serious improvement.

Posted 11/6/2007 3:07 PM (GMT 0)
Glad you are feeling somewhat better. Don't forget to use Pedialyte!!! And I know how you feel.... during finals its just like "i worked my butt off all year, crohns is not going to make me throw that all away." In law school our entire grade 100% is our final exam. So no matter how much work you do all year, it just comes down to that one day, that one test. Ugh. Thats a day that I just do what I have to do and tell the crohns Ill talk to it next week. It doesn't always work.
Posted 11/6/2007 3:56 PM (GMT 0)
Well, I assume you know stressing out about it is going to make it worse. I'd just go for the Immodium in your shoes, in fact I'd explain I'm in Med School taking Exams, please give me an anti-diaheareal (sic) so I don't blow it!

Matthew
Posted 11/6/2007 6:46 PM (GMT 0)

By some miracle I found out this morning that I got a nice grade on my biochem final and hence PASSED the CLASS!  This may not sound like a huge victory but biochem has been a thorn in my side and the fact that I don't have to re-take it is an incredible relief!

That diarrhea won't get me down!  I'm going to show it who's boss!!!

Posted 11/6/2007 7:04 PM (GMT 0)
YAY YAY YAY SARITA HAPPPPPPY DANCE!!!
Posted 11/6/2007 7:28 PM (GMT 0)
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SARITA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Happy Dancing too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You, Fitzy, and me all need to go out after finals and PARTY! And we thought undergrad was hard...LOL It is just that time of year. Good luck to all of us.
Posted 11/7/2007 3:19 AM (GMT 0)
You go girl! You just showed it who is THE boss!
I feel your pain, except in my college years it was always UT problems trying to destroy my education ( with ocasional D for kicks) from my un DXED IBD... Its tough, but you can win.

Sincerely & here is a <HUG>
Matthew
Posted 11/8/2007 11:50 PM (GMT 0)
So happy for you. Impressed really. I was diagnosed during summer prep for Med school and while obtaining residency. Was in the hospital every other weekend that year (8 years ago now). Prep was 1st semster of Med school...Neuro, cardio/pulmonary/renal phis, gross anatomy (minus extremities), biochem (not so hard, undergrad major), histo, and a few others...a little fuzzy. By the time my acceptance came, wanted to go home, not see another hospital, nor doctor. Could not handle idea of last two years of clinicals in hospital and med school was just across the street. Too much a pavlovian influence. So went home.
I wish you so much luck where I failed. I wish you survival in those times of stress....It's hard...but you were dedicated enough to get in...that is even harder. Good luck in biochem, and all else (I HATED renal, and so do most of my friends and docs I've met). Please keep us (me) updated on your progress.
Posted 11/9/2007 12:33 AM (GMT 0)
Congratulations! You give me hope. I had to do a medical withdrawal this Oct cause Crohn's one that round but listening to you and fitzy gives me hope....

Take care
Posted 11/9/2007 1:48 AM (GMT 0)

You guys are awesome, thanks for the support.

The anatomy/histo/embryo final was demanding, but I took Immodium beforehand and that allowed me to at least concentrate...although I didn't eat beforehand because I knew what would result, so my stomach was growling the whole time!

I proposed an idea to the clinical faculty today.  We learn all kinds of random things in the first quarter of med school, clinically-speaking, like how to do a head/eye/ear/nose/throat exam, except how can we really learn how to do an eye exam when we haven't studied the anatomy or histology of the eye in detail?  Right?  In the same vein, how can we become physicians without knowing what it's like to have a chronic illness?

So I said we should pair first-year students with patients experiencing chronic disease.  Meet with them every week or two for an hour or so.  Not to learn about the pathology of the disease, but how it affects the person on a day-to-day basis in terms of their actual life experience.  My clinical director was very supportive and sent my proposal to the deans of the medical school, and so now we're engaged in some dialogue about it.  Hopefully this idea will go somewhere.  I just think it's important for future docs to understand that even though it sucks to learn every single nerve of the abdomen, at least they have the ability to even go to class and learn. 

Posted 11/9/2007 9:20 AM (GMT 0)
WOW~ good for you. I'm glad that you are becoming a doc.

It sounds that you have great insight. Please don't forget how you life was as a patient when you become a physician AFTER you go to school when I they beat it out of you to save the company money. I am appalled at the bedside manner that some of the people I work with have. On my 3 month visit with my GI on the 31st he was like what were you going to school for again? "Social work? That is a really stressful profession...." I didn't realize what he was getting at until he told me I was in remission and this life of mine is as good as it is going to get after I told him I couldn't wait till I got better enough to go back to school in the spring. My GI probably would tell you to drop out because it is not medically possible for someone with a chronic disease to attain positions such as lawyers or doctors because once you get a chronic illness you are supposed to be washed up and forget your dreams.

You and all the other Crohnies in school show them they are WRONG. You are our future. Teach those that are without chronic illness that things that may show up OK on paper may not be OK in real life and to have an open mind and to continue to give your patients hope or at least pretend to be more compassionate.

Thank you again.

-peace
Posted 11/10/2007 3:13 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone who sent kind words along w/ your words to Sarita. I feel I need to add that my crohns is not as severe as a lot of people on here. As much as I am very proud of what I have done and know that I have accomplished a lot, I don't know if I would be in the same position if my crohns was severe. However, I do still appreciate all your kind words.
Posted 11/10/2007 3:34 AM (GMT 0)
so proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted 11/10/2007 11:27 PM (GMT 0)
I know there are so many people working so hard to just make it through the day and don't have the option of even considering pursuing a path they've dreamed of because of various obstacles that present themselves.  I think of them when I feel sorry for myself about having to "endure" this heavy training; what good fortune it is to be able to do this.  And to all of you others in grad school, malakai and Fitzy and Navy, you are inspiring to me; and those of you who have not been able to stay in school due to your illness, you are also inspiring to me for having given it your best shot despite the cards you were dealt and having the humility and respect for yourselves to work through the obstacles placed before you. 

I just watched the movie "Sicko" (been wanting to see it for a while now).  It was infuriating to me, but just adds fuel to the fire in terms of wanting to get in there, get my hands dirty and give care to anyone who needs it.  The stories about physicians working for HMOs and trying to save money by denying people necessary health coverage gave me a visceral reaction.  The tears were streaming!  I will never forget what it's like to be a patient, never ever ever.  You can't, not after having been through all of this, any of the stuff we go through on a daily basis. 

Keep up the good fight, peeps.

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