Weight Loss and Body Issues

Disclaimer: I know everyone has things that suck that happen to them while they are going through/dealing with the aftermath/trying to ward off a Crohn's flare and I know this could be worse but is something that comes up for me.

I have lost a bit of weight from being sick.  I am 5'2 and normally about 130 lbs, now I am about 115 so around a size 2.  I am still on Pred and 6mp and have been sick/recovering from this last bout for about 2 months now.  My friends who know what is going on are supportive and concerned and want me to be healthy, etc BUT:

I have noticed that I get some little comments from my girlfriends about how much weight I have lost and how I look now that I am getting better.  Comments like "I am jealous at how thin you are" or "Well at least you don't have to diet anymore" or just weird REMARKS about my figure.  It is not malicious or spiteful and I know they don't completely understand, but saying they are "jealous" about any of this ILLNESS I have to deal with is somewhat offensive to me.  I have lost weight b/c I couldn't keep any food in me.  Everything I ate either caused me pain or just went right through me with awful D.  My intestines felt like I was being stabbed in the abdomen.  I was in horrible pain that woke me up at night and had social anxiety about being in public having to go to the bathroom.  I missed work and was completely stressed out about the disruption in my life.  My hair fell out.  I stopped getting my period.  I am on medicine that wreaks complete havoc on my body.  I am concerned about how this disease will affect my life and it is by nature a problem people are embarrassed about talking about and hard enough to deal with on its own.

So please don't turn your own weird body issues onto me. 

Wow, that felt good to say!  Thanks for letting me vent. :)

 

Hey Wednesday, I'm sorry you have to deal with these comments. Your friends/family probably mean well and want to find a way to connect with you, and talking about people's thinness is somehow "acceptable" in our society; sounds like they are masking their concern, or trying to lighten the mood, or are simply naive, instead of being malicious. It's no wonder you are frustrated. Sometimes I like to think: what if one of my friends were "dwindling away" before my eyes? It'd be pretty scary, you know? So just keep in mind what they may be feeling while they are watching you go through this.

I know how you feel: before this whole thing started I was actually overweight - that was two years ago. Now, in the midst of my worst time ever with this illness I am down to 120 (I am also 5'2"). It was a rather welcomed side effect at first (pretty messed up, I know) but now it makes me nervous. Anyway, hang in there. Just smile and thank them if they tell you you look great, and if they tell you they are jealous of your weight loss, say, "Almost as jealous as I am about your regular bowel habits!" That should shut 'em up!

I can identify with what you are experiencing. It drives me crazy. Everyone tells me oh, they don't mean anything by it. I don't think its ok to comment on someone's body even if they aren't sick. Simply saying "you look great" or not saying anything if that isn't the case is enough. I've thought of snappy comebacks, including telling them the truth (in my case the people who have made similar comments don't know I am sick) but I never say anything. I like Sarita's comment at the end. That is good!

OK, so here is my Insensitive comment of the year award:
I've been very sick with a Crohn's flare for about six months, (I am starting to feel better..) I was about 20 pounds overweight before I got sick, and even with the Prednisone, I lost about 10 pounds. So my sister in law says to me. "If you were so sick for such a long time, then why aren't you stick thin by now?" I had no idea what to say, so of course I said."I have absolutely no idea how to respond to that question," and she responded "Well it's great that at least you lost 10 pounds."

I still don't know if she was implying that I was not as sick as I said I was, or that I still look fat or what! I will say that if I could have my overweight healthy self back, I'd do it in a heartbeat, rather than to feel so ill all the time!!!!!

You can't win for losing (ha literally)...it doesn't matter if you're too skinny or too fat, crohnies cannot catch a break from comments when it comes to their weight, overweight CDers (I've been there too) get comments like, "you must not be in a flare anymore, you look really "healthy" weight wise"...

But for the most part I've always been a thin person even before CD so I've had people tell me they hate me because I eat so much and don't gain an ounce...I say oh well, alot has to do with metabolism anyway, some people have to work hard at keeping a certain weight and some don't (I've also been on both ends of this too).

Like I said, with people and their opinions about our weight, you cannot win for losing so ignore them.

:)

Wed,
You are preaching to the choir girl :)
I can't tell you how many times women have made "innocent" comments about my weight loss due to CD, I know they mean no harm but it makes me very, very uncomfortable because I don't want to tell everyone my personal health issues, my pat response is usually "I have had some health problems which caused me to lose some weight but I've got a handle on it now"...that usually shuts them up. But it is soooo strange because people who knew me at 200lbs (I'm 5'3") and see me now at 117lbs typically think that I dieted to lose the weight, people used to ask me all the time what diet I went on to lose the weight. Again, made me very uncomfortable because I would have to give my pat response...and like heavly mentioned above in her response, some people get jealous, strange as that sounds, some overweight women didn't seem to care that I have a disease that makes me miserable every day of my life, they just wanted to be as thin as me. Sounds twisted but I kind of understand because when I was very overweight I prayed at night to wake up thin, didn't care how I got skinny-I just wanted to be thin and pretty. I often question whether I didn't get what I wished for...
Anyway, that's my rant for now. I am soooo glad to read the posts and know that others with CD suffer the debilitating psychological effects of this God awful disease too...at least I know I'm not alone.