just getting some stuff off my chest

I've read in so many books that stress doesn't affect flares. I bother to disagree. I can count that every flare that I've had has come on after a period of high stress levels. My doctor realizes this, and he has often fussed at me for stressing so much.

I feel so blessed to have found my husband. He is very sympathetic about my disease and helps out every way that he can. I was at my healthiest point right when I met him, and I was given a few really great years. Then, I got pregnant, and I've been flaring on and off since. My daughter is 19 months old and is very active. I am usually worn out from my days spent running after her and trying to deal with her tantrums!

I went through several bad relationships prior to meeting my hubby, and I can tell you that I remained sick 24/7 through all of them. I know it was hard for you to decide to end the relationship, but believe me, in the long run, your health and the ability to care for your daughter is the most important thing. You deserve someone who will step up to the plate and take charge when you are too sick to care for yourself. The last thing you need is a partner who makes things worse.

As far as your family, they can't begin to understand what you go through. There's no way that I can really put into words what the pain feels like. I wouldn't worry about them.

Also, as far as the new "friend", just be careful. You just ended a relationship, and I would just not stress about this right now. Just try to relax and accept that whatever happens is fine with you. Just take it one day at a time. Rushing into anything is probably not a good idea right now. Take care of your health first. I'm not saying that you shouldn't pursue anything; I'm just saying to take your time. That's usually when the good stuff happens!

Jennifer, hope all goes well with your little one tomorrow. I know that when I get really stressed I instantly get D and nausea. I now take 1/2 Valium and some nausea meds when those times hit and it really helps.

I would like to also give you some post divorce advice. Please do not get involved with anyone just yet. You were in a very long relationship and it really takes time to heal. You have alot of baggage to let go of. Even though this divorce was your choice, they say its best to wait at least 1 year to 18 mos before you start dating again. Believe me I learned this the hard way. Its good to take your time and first see that you don't need someone else to be happy in this life. When the time is right you will know. I did that and found my husband and believe me the wait was really worth it.

Don't be so hard on yourself. We are all very sensitive to stress and I pray that you find some peace in your life. (((BIG HUGS)))

God Bless,
Gail *Nanners*

Jennifer, I hope everything turns for the better for you soon... just try to relax and let that new relationship take its course! I too believe stress makes CD worse and don't care what books say. I was doing very well and when my Dad died in October I was miserable. I found myself in tremendous pain in my gut. I was doing so well right before. I was having D and cramping and all kinds of CD symptoms. Once I started to relax and calm down I seemed to get a little better (all the funeral planning was difficult and exhausting) take care of yourself and don't let others second guess your decision, you know what is best for you and your daughter. I would not hesitate telling people that say anything negative toward your decision to leave her father. good luck! Karen

Thank you ladies for all your support!!!

Well,we made it through the MRI, & today we go back down to Asheville for the EEG tomorrow morning.I have to pull an all nighter tonight because Jasmine has to be sleep deprived for 8 hours before the test.It sure would be easier for me to stay up if I didn't have to fight her to stay up & if we didn't have to be super quiet so my lil bro & his wife can get thier sleeep.And I sure hope that she cooperates,because I am getting to old  to do this multiple times...hehe.

Nat, thanks for putting your 2 cents in.Time may be on my side for now,& lord knows that I have been forced to learn much patience these past 5 months...lol.I feel pretty certain that if there is enough chemistry,the geography issues will work itself out.In the meantime,I will keep cool & work on myself.  BTW,were u rolling your eyes at me ....hehe

Hey Jennifer,

Glad you are keeping on. I know all about the assisted living transition. My grandmother who is 95 just moved in to one. It is extremely complicated because she has a life estate in a split house so she has her own apartment upstairs. Unfortunatly my aunt and uncle (her daughter) that live downstairs no longer want to care for her. I know it is tough but she really only needed meds and meals and could do the rest herself. However, rather than telling her that they made her life miserable and tried to get her to want to leave. She can't live all by herself and needs at least someone checking in on her. We got her home health care but unfortunatly she is terribly racist and the home health worker was of a minority race. As much as I despise racism I understand she grew up in different times and at 95 there is nothing I can do to change her. So after a seizure (according to the doc potentially brought on by the emotional distress of her darling daughter downstairs) she went to a nursing home temporarily and was discharged to a beautiful fancy schmancy assisted living. But she is miserable. And she wants to be home. And she has poor memory and doesn't remember how horrible things were at home. And her daughter still visits her and acts like she is an angel, meanwhile my dad is made out to be the bad guy for putting her in assisted living. He doesnt want to cause trouble so he keeps his mouth shut. It is so sad how families tear apart as people age. Anyway, I went off on a tangent. Glad things are looking up.