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Just had a breakdown with my "bosses" OY !

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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 4/11/2008 6:04 PM (GMT 0)
I hate when this happens ! Okay ...so I am not my chipper self - I am not sleeping hardly at all ...and just can tell that "something" is happening in there ...so I am just not my self

WEll teh big boss got me in the lobby and said  I want you to come see me because you are not yourself and its noticable to everyone - well I nearly lost it right there !

Um....excuse me , if its so noticable then why hasn't ONE person said "are you okay?" ...no one asked - Im just quiet ...do my work - but quite - not mean ...just quiet

Yes, I am normally more upbeat ...but gee if you cared why not ask ?

So I got a bit upset at which point she said follow me into my office

There I was with the 3 of them - I refused to sit - oy ...not good , got reamed out for that too

Then I finally cried and told them my disease was active, I was neededing meds and our wondeful insurance was fighting with me again and not wanting to pay, I wasnt sleeping , I was tired and feeling weak ...

so, whats the problem ?

Okay I had a good cry ...they think less of me and want me to send them copies of all my communication with those involved with the inurance deal ...because I am just getting the run around and I dont want to fight anymore...so they are going to fight for me - thats good ...except I still dont trust the insurance company .. who will fight when I get the bills ?

thanks for listening

I hate this --- all of it

Posted 4/11/2008 6:46 PM (GMT 0)
Oh, i'm so sorry - I know how you feel.   I've totally cried at work when I shouldnt have and it is so embarrassing.    *hug*
Posted 4/11/2008 7:32 PM (GMT 0)
Don't assume that they think less of you because you cried!! Crying is a human response. They called you into the office to talk to you privately about what has been wrong because they care right? I guess if you were there you would know better than me and you seemed to percieve it as disciplinary in nature.

I did the same thing at work at one point ... I was being grilled about what I want to do after law school. I want to stay working here! But they were pressuring me to try this or that first and I was feeling really sick that day, on the verge of calling my doc for roids. I ended up getting all choked up saying I dont want to go somewhere else where they don't know about my crohns and might not care. Here I have it perfect and no problem with bathroom access.

Then I apologized for getting choked up and said honestly I am just really worried I am starting to flare and this remission has been so good to me. They totally understood and felt bad for pressuring me. I was mortified bc thats the time I should be strongest and start negotiating my starting salary there. But instead I got all blubbery. It was uncomfortable for all involved but I really don't think they think any less of me because of it. They just got a glimpse at how hard crohns can really be.
Posted 4/11/2008 7:41 PM (GMT 0)
So sorry about your boss issues! I do hope they called you in because they care... I have not even told my new boss because of how previous bosses treated me. I think she will be ok though, I have not really had the chance to tell her. Good Luck and don't worry about crying, it is a human response and they may realize how bad you were feeling. At least you were at work trying and still working when you could. Karen
Posted 4/11/2008 8:42 PM (GMT 0)
I am the same way I do my Job but not as upbeat as normal, I get very quiet when I dont feel well. I agree I dont think they will think less of you for crying it is a natural response, and most people dont understand how we feel when we are in a flare or how are meds can help our disease but can also create a whole new world of difficulties !! Good luck to you.
Posted 4/12/2008 12:11 AM (GMT 0)

Don't think that they think less of you.  I know that there are very caring and concerned people.  A little story from my background.  My daughter was diagnosed with Crohn's when she was twelve.  She was going to a pediatric gastro and all of the sudden I get a letter from the insurance company saying that they were dropping him from the list of network doctors.  She had only been going to him for a litte over a year and I wasn't really happy with him anyway.

When I looked for a new doctor there was none.  Only adult GI's.  It's so important to see a pedi-gi because she already suffered from growth failure.  I was frantic.  I ended up talking to my district manager who contact someone else.  Before I knew it I was getting a call from one of the vice-presidents of my corporation.  He was on the benefit committee and before I knew it we had several new doctors available for me to choose from.  I found the most wonderful doctor that got Michelle in remission and growing, even if it was a nastro-gastric tube for nightly feedings. 

My vice-president continued to call me every few months just to check up on my daughter until he retired.  Believe me when I say, I was and still eternally grateful for his caring and his involvement.  By the way, I work for AT&T and I am on the lowest rung of the corporate ladder.  Not all bosses are uncaring.

Posted 4/12/2008 4:17 AM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry your had to go through this. But don't think of crying as weekness. People who are caring strong individuals cry. It means we are loving and caring. If you didn't care about your job, you wouldn't have cried right? I'm sure they realize that. So be strong, continue to be who you are and obviously a very strong individual. Wishing you health soon!!!!
Posted 4/16/2008 6:43 AM (GMT 0)

Hey Kiddo you Ok?? 

 Of course you are...just having one of those chron's moments...Some days we just need to vent,relax the battle,regroup,and as always start again...You will be fine you were just building more courage...Keep it up girlfriend. yeah

Jimmy

Posted 4/16/2008 8:24 AM (GMT 0)
Big Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted 4/16/2008 8:35 AM (GMT 0)
I think Fitzy hit the nail on the head. To tell the truth, if they think less of you for being upset at such a time in your life , then they are not human. Thats something that you need to know now, before you waste a lot of time working for them.
Posted 4/16/2008 11:12 AM (GMT 0)
I've bawled infront of my boss now and i can emphathise about how embarrasing it feels but there really is no need. In some ways it helps-at least they now know what's going on. I go 'quiet' when im not well and it's been mistaken in the past as moodiness so i definately think honesty is the best policy. Right today off, it's been a bad one but there's always tomorrow or next month or next year!! xx
Posted 4/20/2008 12:43 AM (GMT 0)
Hey, wondering how you are doing??? I hope very well. Just thinking about you.
Posted 4/20/2008 12:52 AM (GMT 0)
Hang in there. I have done the same; however, my boss told me to take some Pepto and get it taken care of.
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