Panic Attack

I'm so having such anxiety, I feel like I might die. Why do I have to have this new pain, Can't this disease just leave me alone. I'm sorry I feel like venting and I know I can do that here. I hate the tests, small bowel follow through tomorrow, I can't stand how I feel sometimes. The steroids certainly don't help a frame of mind. It doesn't help of course my financial life is scary to the point of food pantry tomorrow to feed our family of 5,( maybe Moms again, she is my constant savior) I'm going to have to add the wellbutrin back into my pill taking I suppose, as we all love to be dependent on pills *sigh*
but I'm having a hard time coping I guess. Whew I'm so glad I can just come here and post, ahhhhhhh I feel better already. I'm just hoping I'm not having an obstruction, and what if tomorrow they find it and I have to have surgery and for some strange reason I don't make it through something like that. I can't leave my kids yet. Fear is whats getting to me. I wonder if I should take a xanax, I really should not I suppose, I dont know, I wish I could take one in the morning though. Going into the hospital gives me anxiety. Actually I'm going to cancel the endoscopy they want to do. They will have this SBFT, a scheduled CT scan a endoscopy, and they wanted to do the endo, but I can't do it again, not after waking up in the middle of the last one? Can't they do a capsule one anyway if they really need one after those three tests, but its hard to say that to the Dr. of course, well my Dr. anyway. I'm thinking I should get a new one as he pretty much asks me what I want to do about my disease anyway. I'm supposed to start Methotrexate, but I am now having second thoughts. I've been thinking about the diets that have been mentioned and I just got some supplements and probiotics. I, like all of us always want to take the less extreme route. I am just annoyed at the seriousness of what the side effects are of these heavy class ( I think) of drugs. To top it all off I have some lady issues going on. Ouch ouch ouch, this is a weird pain, crap its scaring me. Well I'll try a cup of tea and see how it goes I guess. Thanks for letting me vent, and as usual being the place of most comfort for me, Dawn☼

I suffer with anxiety also. I take Xanax at the first hint of an attack and it stops it dead in its tracks. We have a awesome anxiety/depression board here on Healingwell you might want to visit. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.

Hugs,
Gail *Nanners*