I am tired of being called a pill addict

I have had Crohns since I was 15 years old and I am now soon to be 36.  I have recently been prescribed something for my pain.  I really don't want to take them-but, actually, the meds have kept me from having to run to the ER   My husband keeps my meds and disperses them when he sees fit. Hoiwever, I know that he is just concerned of me running out too soon-but everythime I ask I get to hear about what an addict I am I don't know what to do-  I am tired of getting these lectures.  Any advice is appreciated.

Very well said Zanne - time to lay down the law with hubby Bible and say that he has no right to control your meds. Are you in a controlling and or abusive relationship? If so you may need to seek help for that before standing up to him. There should be an abused womens advocacy group in your area - just google it. If you have a therapist that would also be a good start.

Bible, I seem to remember having this conversation before!! So you obviously didn't listen to all the advice that was given then!!

So, please for your own self worth, please listen to Navy. If you continue down this road, I would be very concerned about you're
well being....

Do you still think that your husband is using them for himself? I remember that's what you thought before.

Its no one's fault but your own for tolerating this guy's control issues - or usage issues of his own whichever, whatever, it is.

Either way, Ann Landers always said people can't use you for a door mat unless you let them. No truer words were even spoken.

Stand up for yourself or get out of this relationship. Maybe your ID says it all - you're in a relationship w/one of those religious fanatic control freaks. Shades of Elmer Grantry, Jimmy Baker, James Jones, et al!!! That is NOT religion as God intended it.

YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS! 

Ok so more people were posting to this as I was.  If you suspect your husband is taking your pills, then get them locked up and don't allow him to know how to access them.  You can get a lock box with a key at any office supply or hardware store.  Lock them up and hide both the key and the box.  I would then go ahead and call your doctor and report your suspicions.  This needs to be documented so you can protect yourself. 

Again, I wish you the very best of luck with this.  You do not deserve to be treated this way.  Please see that this is wrong and open your eyes to it so you can make some assertive changes in your life.  This is YOUR health we are talking about here. 

CrohnieToo, how have I miss your signature!!??  Oh my gosh I am so going to steal that from you.  I almost peed myself when I read that.  I shouted it out to my husband and he laughed as well.  Let me know how much money I am going to have to pay you to use that. 

Everyone already said it. Please, listen to them and either talk with your husband or tell him what's what. He has no right to be carrying those, and, as everyone said, it's ILLEGAL.

Good grief, who does he think he is, Bible? You're not a child: you're perfectly capable of dispensing your own meds, when you need them.

I would have to disagree, though, with the people who are blaming you for your situation. Folks, let's not blame the victim here. We don't know Bible - we only read what she chooses to post here - and we can't know what her situation really is. I think it's reasonable to encourage her to get face-to-face support from someone who can get to know her properly, but I don't think it is fair to imply that it is her fault for remaining in a situation that we only suspect is controlling and / or abusive.

We don't know Bible; we don't know her husband, and it's impossible to really understand a relationship until we've been in it ourselves. Bible has come to us for support. Let's not be overly critical, please.

Ivy.

I would just like to add that Yes we don't know where Bible is coming from or where her husband is coming from. My husband's mother is both a prescription drug addict and an alcoholic. So I am very sensitive to addition issues and in particular my husbands attitude to pain medication. That is one of the reasons that I insisted that my doctor send me to a pain clinic for my pain medication needs. That way we both know that things are monitored and I know that my pain needs are met. This might be something that could help ease your husbands mind, while still allowing you to have the peace of mind to know that when you need relief you will have it. Take him with you but discuss openly with the doctor what is going on so that the doctor can make it clear that him posessing your meds is NOT acceptable.

Please know that we are here for support and not for any form of judgment.

The first step is recognizing that you are in an unhealthy relationship - you have reached the first step and I hope you have the courage to stretch for step 2 and seek help in fixing the relationship or leaving the relationship.

Bible, and others..

     Mostly, I don't like to post too much because I'm so out of touch with the drugs, etc. that are used for Crohn's these days.

     But, I feel compelled to sort of let you get an idea of what the opposite end of the picture looks like.   My wife, Christina had spinal Stenosis for over thirty years.  When doctors saw her Xrays that showed quite a few of her vertabre had collasped and were resting on her nerves, they knew how much pain she had to be in.  A surgical solution was out of the question because there was no such thing as a new spine with all of the trimmings so they didn't mind giving her high octane pain pills.

     They started, when they became available, with 3 500/325 mgs a day of percocet.  This went on for about close to a year, when they and she decided she wasn't getting enough so they increased it to 5 percocets a day.

     Now, because I was a (good?) husband and knew how much she was hurting, I never told her when or how many to take, I was convinced how much she was hurting and felt it my duty and responsibility to make sure she had what she needed, and the doctors even the pain clinic doctors whenever they saw pictures of her spine would agree to the advance in number of pills.  (I asked her to go to the pain clinic so her regular doctor would have back-up if he needed it), but she had the same doctors through her ordeal, And the same group of doctors perscribed all of her pills.

     Later on, they decided, because of new procedures, they would try to do something to her spine so that she might be a little relieved of some of the pain and in the meantime she was required to wear a pace maker for her Heart.  And me being the really (wonderful husband?) that was going to see that my wonderful wife was going to get everything she needed for pain or any thing else she needed for her health.

     To make a long story short, my wife did have the surgery, a week later she died of heart failure.  That was three years ago.  The year she died with the help of her doctors, the surgeon, and me, the (wonder husband?)   The drug bill alone was over $44,000.00. please don't missunderstand, I never minded the expense.  I had become very successful, kids had all grown up, when whe was feeling good we traveled, we had a wonderful life together, she was my best friend, we cared for each other like mother-hens, when she died, we had been married 55 years.  She was one of the early dental hygienist in the state of Georgia since 1956 and she was also an Artist (over 100 of her paintings hang in my house today).

     As a point of addiction to drugs let me say this.  I don't care if you'r hurting or not, if you take Percocet or Oxycontin you'r going to get addicted.  And in my opinion, if you can control when you are going to take them, you don't really need them.  about six months before her surgery she was taking 10 (10x325)percocets a day and eight 20mgs of Oxycontin a day, all with doctors permission.

     Is Bibles husband such a bad guy,? I don't know.  Should I have been more like him,? I don't know.

     By the way Christina was 75 years old when she died, I'll be 81 in February, I've had severe Crohn's for going on 53 or 54 years now, nine surgeries including 6 major resections that cost me 60 percent of my intestines, and since I stopped listining to my doctors about twenty years ago, and decided then that I would do my own doctoring, I have not had another episode of Crohn's that I couldn't handle on my own.

     In all of the years I've had Crohn's there was only the time when I had a blockage and my wife was taking me to ER room when the doctor told me to go ahead and take one of her percocets and he would meet me at the Hospital.  That's the only pain pill that I ever took, he was strictly against pain pills and I knew why, that's why I never took but that one pill, on the way to the hospital.

     .  Respectfully

Panayo,
I am so sorry for the loss of your wife, but please please do not blame yourself. In all honesty it sounds like your wife died more from having a failing body (which while on the young side of the normal life expectancy is more years then either one of my parents will see), then from any drug. I mean was your wife incompetent in any way? Would she have even tolerated having her personal intergrity questioned? Would a loving husband even do so? In all honesty as compent adults we are in charge of our own health and well being, even our doctors are just merely consultants. No one else is responsible for our health. We are responsible for our own health. Your wife knew the risks and decided to do what is in her best interest and what might give her the best quality of life. This is a gamble we all take everyday.

Addiction can be treated, but it is something complete different then what we are talking about here. But please never assume that everyone is going to get addicted to oxy or per if they happen to take them for an extented period of time. When I broke my back (and several other things) a couple years ago and I took them. I was offered them for crohns, but decided against them and in fact do not take pain meds right now.  So I just blew your addiction theory out of the water.
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I think a fundimental issue is the problem with women (or any competent adult) being treated like they are not competent adults who do not know what is best for their own health. Or any person who is a competent adult, that is being treated like a child, there is inherent relationship problem if this carries on. Whether it is a husband, mother, or doctor, etc. it is an issue that needs to be addressed and corrected.  None of us who are competent adults would want our health and wellbeing to be someone else call.  In fact Panayo gave us a great example in himself.  Who in the world (if they are competent) would want their crohns (and overall health) care to be someone's call?

Zanne said...

I know my body has a high tolerance to pain meds. It takes more medication to relieve my pain or to sedate me for tests. But I can go days or weeks with out taking anything and suffer no ill effects, I couldn't do that if I were addicted to pain medication.

I had my first dose of pain meds (morphine for an obstruction) when I was 27. For the next couple years, I had pain meds while in the hospital a couple more times, but not at home. Just those small amount made me really tolerant to pain meds. They really have to give me a lot to knock me out for colonoscopies, and when I had a bronchialscope to get some samples from my lungs (I had valley fever), they COULDN'T knock me out. They gave me as much as they could, and then went ahead and did it with me awake . It's crazy how a person can build up a tolerance so fast.

A year ago (I was 32), I had severe pain from crohn's that just wouldn't go away. I was given at home pain meds (oxycodone) for the first time. I didn't want to run out of pills, so I took only 1/2 a pill at a time 3 times a day. I did this for about 3 or 4 months, and couldn't have got though the summer without them. My insurance finally approved entocort for me, and within a week the pain was gone. And I quit taking the pain meds, no problem. I'm sure I'm not the only one out there who took pain pills and then easily stopped when they were no longer needed. You're not going to automatically get addicted. But I will say this...I could see how some (certainly not all) people could get addicted. When I took oxycodone, I would get a feeling of euphoria within 15 minutes to 1/2 an hour. It was a great feeling! Not enough to abuse the pills once the pain was gone, but great none the less.

I hate to use this as an answer but it fits in this case. God made woman from the rib of Adam, not a bone from his foot. That is because man and woman are to be at each others side, your not to be under his foot. Hope this puts things in perspective....