Hi Navy how are you doing?

Navy was wandering if you are doing OK and how are you feeling ? Have you been getting any better. Keeping my promise to you to look after you. Don't be a stranger and keep in touch. lol gail

(((Navy))) Have you been able to talk to her about it?

It's so hard when a parent chooses to let go. I had similar issues with my mother, who died last year. I know you won't be able to find much comfort now, but it might help you to know that, for me, when my mother did eventually die, it became a real comfort to know that she was ready to leave, and hadn't had her life snatched from her before she was ready.

That doesn't stop it from being hard on you, though. It's horrible being the person who is left behind.

Huge hugs.

Ivy.

((((NAVY))))

Hi Navy I know it's hard and I am sure your Mom has thought about these days and if it were me or you I am sure that we would want the same. Seeing it though sure makes it more real.Letting go is a hard thing to do but suffering for long periods in time is hard. How are you doing with the bleeding has it slowed? You have your little niece to help with this ,I find knowing there are others to share life with helps us. Hope you can see her often. How are your Brothers holding up sometimes men have a tendency to hold things in. I know you will find the inner peace you need to get threw this, lots of love. gail

((((MMMNAVY)))) you and your Mom are in my prayers..

yes, she is able to talk. She does a good job of not wanting to worry us.

{{SIGH}} Moms...

My mom does that too. She's only got one lung and COPD and a nodule in her good lung... she's not out of the woods, but she plays everything off and pretends all is well in the world. You know what I do, MM? I pin her down and 20-question her until she gets so darn mad she talks. I don't do evasive when I see she's in pain or something is wrong. I badger and badger until she gets mad and then keep badgering. I know this sounds mean, but I get the answers I seek. If I didn't I wouldn't know a darn thing. Like your mother, I know she's trying not to worry us.

Heck, my father is the same way. He's got that darn aneurysm that's nearing the burst point and he won't talk about it at all. So.... I dismiss my mother from the room (he def. won't talk in font of her) and start in on him until I get answers.

I don't think that generation understands that it is maddening to us not to know what the heck is going on. I piss 'em off often, but at least I know what's going on.

MM -

get in there and don't let her shrug you off, if you really want to know what's going on inside her head. But that's your call. I promise you from experience that she won't stay mad for long... but she will be mad at first. :) I'm here if you need me.... anytime... anywhere, my friend.

-Leslie

trying to do classes and get to the hospital...no solid food...

Navy, is there someone in your mother's palliative care team that you can talk to? There should be a support worker assigned to help carers: a psychologist or a counsellor or someone like that. They deal with this sort of stuff all the time and might be able to talk the issue through with both of you, separately.

Once the palliative care team is aware of what's troubling you and your mother, they may be able to help. For instance, if your mother is worrying about being a burden, they may be able to set her mind at ease or even provide a bit more in-home support so she can feel a little more independent. If pain is getting her down, they might be able to help her with pain management.

It sounds to me as if you both need someone to talk to. I hope the support is there for you.

Ivy.

Unfortunately since my Mom went to the ER the hospice discharged her. ARGH...so we have to fight to get her benefits back. SO no palliative care time right now.

I'm so sorry Navy, I had no idea what you've been going through. My thoughts are with you honey.

Don't forget to take of yourself right now. Please try and talk to your Mom. I had no time to talk to mine. 2weeks following major
surgery for aggressive colon cancer, my mother started to have chest pain, while she was still in the hospital (she was due to go
home the next day). When it got so bad they asked me to leave the room. Five minutes later a doctor came to see me with regard
to DNR. He told me that my Mom had only got a few months left to live, and she would be in devastating pain. So I had to make the
decision for no heroics. She died, 15 minutes later. I still question my judgement, would she have made the same call? Lots of if's ands,
& buts. Perhaps your Mom is sparing you from this pain...Non the less my heart goes out to you and your mother.

Hi Navy was thinking about you and your Mom this morning and was wandering if she has Sister's or Brother's.Just wandering if your have some Aunt's and Uncle's that would be visiting her. lol gail

Hi Navy check in when you get some time to yourself. lol gail