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is it my fault?

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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 12/28/2008 3:04 AM (GMT 0)
I have been running to the bathroom with D since 2am (it's 9:30pm)--I can't believe there's anything left in me to poop out. Up all night, night sweat, fever just now 101.5 down to 100.2, weak, down, and feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin. Due for the humira shot tomorrow--maybe that's it?

Or do I feel this horrible from Christmas eating? Or, utimately, is it that after 5 months humira is really just not working????

Is it my fault? For Christmas, I had a taste of everything and really tried not to overdo it. I barely really ate a meal. Probably should have stuck to the turkey and stayed away from the cookies. Since I wasn't doing so well to begin with, should I have stuck with bread and broth? My mom even had some for me if I needed it. Now in my late 30s, I can remember sitting at Easter dinner as a teen eating cream of wheat while everyone else ate ham.

I know I should be thankful for the almost 10 years I felt so well prior to this past one. And for 23 years without surgery. But I'm so tired of feeling like crap. A year of barely getting off the couch to get to work--pushing myself through. I am stronger than I was this past summer but right now I'm so tired of running to the bathroom. At Christmas Eve dinner, I ran to the bathroom 8 times--how embarrassing! Today, I couldn't even get out for 20 minutes to the pharmacy. I can't believe I'm considering a leave of absence from work.

thanks for listening. Thanks for being here! I don't know what I'd do without this forum.
Posted 12/28/2008 3:45 AM (GMT 0)
Firstly, getting sick is never your fault! Blaming yourself will get you nowhere. This disease is so unpredictable and we really can't place blame. I'm so sorry you're feeling awful. I've definitely been much more sick this past week with all the bad food roaming around, and my shot yesterday definitely came right in time.

Do you feel the Humira has been working overall? Is this the only bad episode you've had since starting? I think you'll be able to tell better within a few days, but I surely hope you feel much better before then. Wish I could be of more help--keep us updated!
Posted 12/28/2008 4:00 AM (GMT 0)
Well, if you know there are some foods that make you sick, you really oughtta avoid them if you don't want the trouble caused by it... I know it really sucks... :(... I really feel for you... I wish we could all eat whatever we want and not feel bad because of it afterwards...
Posted 12/28/2008 7:08 AM (GMT 0)
Try and think positvely, hopefully whatever you ate on xmas will soon be completely out of your system by the next day or 2 and you'll be back to feeling better (or at least as good as you were before)...just don't stress over it because that will not help and don't beat yourself up over indulging a little, no one's perfect.

:)
Posted 12/28/2008 12:44 PM (GMT 0)
Hi I like mkl11 was wandering if the Humira was working prior to xmas if not perhaps you would do good to try a short go of pred. hope you get to feeling better soon. lol gail
Posted 12/28/2008 3:25 PM (GMT 0)
Sometimes even a little bit of a forbidden food will do us in for a few days. I would try to go on a liquid diet for a few days and see if that doesn't quiet things down for you. If it continues more than a week I always know that it is the Crohns and usually will contact my doc then. Hope you get feeling better soon.
Posted 12/28/2008 4:15 PM (GMT 0)
thanks for the support and responses. The humira wasn't doing much more before Christmas. I have seen improvement since last summer when I started it--no more mouth ulcers, charlie horses, fewer headaches, more overall strength. Still, I have D all the time and codeine only controls it a little. Sometimes my fistulas are better, and sometimes they are terrible--especially the r-v. The first few weeks on the humira were great but since then not much. My right side doesn't hurt as much or as often but now I have lower left quadrant pain with the D--bad cramping.

Doc is talking resection of the TI and part of right colon but I don't think that's going to help.

Sorry to be such a baby--I'm at my wit's end today. shakehead
Posted 12/28/2008 4:34 PM (GMT 0)
You can't blame yourself when this is such a fickle disease! While I believe that the smallest amount can make a difference sometimes, it doesn't sound like you went wild with your food, and the point of getting better and finding what is right for is to try new food anyway. Please, don't kick yourself in the teeth. Sometimes it seems like no matter what you do things get worse despite your best efforts. All you can do is keep your chin up and keep trying.
I would be worried about a resection too...just because it's not anything most people would expect to have to go through. The only thing I can say about that really though is that my aunt, who is a doctor, has seen vast improvement in many patients who finally decided to have surgery.
In any case, I wish you the best of luck in finding what is right for you and hope that you won't be so hard on yourself. I know it's easy to feel that way sometimes, but then I remember all the hard work I put into to getting better and I realize sometimes that being sick is the only way things can go.
Posted 12/28/2008 4:45 PM (GMT 0)
Hi If your Dr. is talking resection then food isn't the culbert here and could be causing your rv fistula if you have a bad section. Sometimes we go threw alot to put up with a bad area that just don't get better. hugs. lol gail
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