Pain is my fault?!

I have had 9 abcess surgeries on my butt in the past 19 months and my butt has hurt longer than that.  about a month ago I had a colostomy to heal my rectum and to reduce the number of abcesses I got.  I now have an infection on my butt which people are conserned about.  For  me I am more conserned about the pain. I havent been able to sit comfortably for a long time and at time I can hardly walk or lay on my back.  I am dieing for some relief but my surgeon and GP both say that I need to suck it up and get over it, I will be in pain for months years to come and to get over myself.  My doctors keep lecturing me on pain killers.  I am mad because I take 60 of morphine and it does squat.  My doctors say I'm addicted to it, I dont think I am as I dont take it often.  But they say to increase my dose and I will just become more addicted to it and it will just cause me more problems.  I dont want to get addicted to morphine or any pain killer I just want relief.  I am so frusterated and angry.  No one seems to care that I am in pain and no one is willing to do anything for me except tell me to take more  morphine and ruin my life in other ways.  I need help.  My 21st birthday is in three weeks and all i want is to be able to sit through dinner comfortably.  Any help, advice.  At this point I am willing to travel the world in pain to try and get help.  I just cant keep living like this. 

Oh Dreamer honey have you thought (if you can) a different doctor? Pain meds with that kind of issues sounds like a good idea to me. I think if you can get a pain specialist, that is a good idea.  It just seems stupidly insensitive of them to say such things to you.  I also have to admit I am having problems with my own doctor saying stupid remarks. 

I agree with the rest.  Get a new doc.  A pain management doc.  You should not have to suck it up.  That's ridiculous.  There are no trophies for dealing with the pain..no awards.

I wish you the best of luck with your issues.

Dreamer!  Sweetheart I am so sorry you are in such a state!!       I remember far too clearly when I couldn't sit at all for months.  I could only lay on my sides.  I ended up with bed sores so then it was painful to lay on my sides!  But my ordeal was over in about six months (well, that first abscess).  I really feel for you! 

I agree with all above.  I am worried about the infection you mentioned on your butt.  What is it and what are they doing for it???

I totally empathize with not being able to sit...It is hard for many people to imagine that sitting hurts like Heck, cuz it is so natural, and for most, it is one of the LEAST painful of positions...

I cannot better say than what has already been said...get thee FAST to a pain management doctor!!!

There is a lot of misunderstanding about the difference between dependence and addiction,even doctors (probably especially them) get confused on this difference ...users on this forum, both the Crohn's forum and the Chronic Pain portion of Healingwell, have a wealth of advise and support(PAlady and straydog, to name a couple)have some pretty good threads on the difference...

To put is succinctly(if anybody can say it better, please do.), dependence is something physiological that your body needs to function correctly (like insulin to diabetics or prozac to someone who is depressed, or in our case, prednisone, which you can't quit cold turkey either), which will increase your quality of life. Addiction is the psychological craving, despite any and all consequences, of the medication, and to take more than necessary for the feeling of euphoria from higher and higher doses thereby decreasing the quality of life. Just a thought, we take certain meds (say Remicade or prednisone), that can have some pretty gnarly side effects, but you weigh the risk to benefit ratio, and find what works best...

I hope that you can find some sort of relief soon...