A friend sent me a list of bumper stickers quotes to cheer me up.
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
When all fails, lower your standards
Overdrawn? But I still have checks left!
Reality is a figment of your imagination
Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel will be out
I was born brillant, education ruined me
Madness takes a toll. Please have exact change
One more repo and I'll be debt free!
Life's is way to short to stay on topic
Ever sliver lining has a cloud
Don't judge a book by it's movie
Time flies when you don't know what you're doing
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving ain't for you
Strangers have the best candy!
They didn't let me out, they just gave me day pass!
"I'm already visualizing the duct tape over you mouth"
Guns don't kill people. Postal workers do
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home someday
Can I pay my Visa with my Mastercard?
BOMB SQUAD: If you see me running you better catch up.
Careful I'm not wearing clean underwear
All stressed out with nobody to choke!
It's been Monday all week
I'm with the band
I don't have to dead to donate my organ
Screw you guys I'm going home
I've been dieting for the past month, the only thing I lost was 31 days
Life. It's just a cereal
I put contacts in for this?!
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician
Jesus is coming! Look busy.
I hope they put a 
on your face.