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Tuesday tlc

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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 8/31/2010 1:40 AM (GMT 0)
* rest
* sleep
* read
* some / all dishes
* straighten / make bed
* some / all tidying

Anything's optional after that.

Choc, I want you to know that you're not alone. Many of us here have gone through bad things too.

More when I can write more.

*hug*

Ivy.
Posted 8/31/2010 4:49 AM (GMT 0)
(((((BIG HUGS)))))) to you Ivy. It sounds like you're not doing so well today. I wish I could do something to help.

I'm going to try to do more tomorrow/today (it's 12:45pm here). Today was bad, didn't get a job I interviewed for and I let it get me down. I have to keep my chin up and move forward though.

For Tuesday:
Go to library, return books and get new ones
Drop off rx at Walmart
Go get (more) money from Dad...I seem to bleed money, and my insurance premium went up to 3x what it was last month

I hope today is better for you all!
Posted 8/31/2010 5:20 AM (GMT 0)
(((Becky))) I'm so sorry about your job, and the insurance bill.

Ivy (shock horror!) who is dehairing her legs and plucking her eyebrows... so that's some tlc being done.
Posted 8/31/2010 9:38 AM (GMT 0)
Heys guys,

Still feeling down about everything. Mum's not as ok with last weekend and the things i said as i thought. She's very quiet and hasn't offered to help me out as she normally would. I dont know, i guess i should just button my mouth and get on with it all. I just wish i could have the choice about where my life is going. I dont want to move. I really dont want to, but i wasnt even asked about it. I was just told she was moving so i have no choice.
Her fella is talking about buying a place next spring. We can move down in our own convienience, which knowing mum will be asap. I've asked for at least three months notice so i can move my healthcare and to be as close to the hospital i've chosen to help me when i have to get there on my own.
I have to start looking at the positives. Mum will be happy, i will have my own bathroom. We should have more money than we do now.

no real tlc's for me today, just dont have the energy. Spent most of yesterday in pain so didnt get dressed. Mum wasnt impressed.
Posted 8/31/2010 9:58 AM (GMT 0)
You're a grown woman, Choc, and perfectly entitled to express your opinions which, by the sounds of it, were both reasonable and respectful.

I feel for you, and wish I had something constructive to add. Disempowerment can be one of the more distressing long-term effects of illness, I think.

Huge but gentle hugs.

Ivy.
Posted 8/31/2010 9:59 AM (GMT 0)
ps. Not just your opinions, but your needs as well. You're allowed to have both, and should be heard, at least.
Posted 8/31/2010 10:19 AM (GMT 0)
yeah i know. I'm just not sure that i can cope with telling mum what i want/need and her just dismissing it all. She just wants to write everything off as my depression. I dont think its helping, but its not all the depression.

Who knows, maybe the surgery will sort me out and i might be able to get back to part time work, then get my own tiny flat up here.
Posted 8/31/2010 10:25 AM (GMT 0)
Getting better would help a lot; I agree. I've been thinking: might it help to talk with your doctors about this? If they knew that you needed to stop mucking around and establish a degree of medical security and independence asap, they might be more willing to treat you more aggressively than they would otherwise.

I think it would help if you had some sort of advocate, or, failing that, a social worker or counsellor... Yours are valid concerns, and need addressing, both for your current mental health & sense of security, but also for your future welfare.

I'm going to lie down for a bit, Choc.

I don't blame you for feeling low today. Maybe a pj and bed and chocolate day is just the tlc you need...

ivy.
Posted 8/31/2010 12:04 PM (GMT 0)
I'm seeing a surgeon on thursday, after that it will be up to the NHS as to when they can slot me in for the surgery. I'm seeing a health phsycologist on thursday week as well. Plus the GP tomorrow. Hopfully between them all, they can fix me up so i can keep going. I'm going to do more research into staying here rather than moving with mum. It *might* be feasable.
Posted 8/31/2010 2:14 PM (GMT 0)
Bit late in the day for posting so more of a what have I done today
Dog to vets for anaesthetic/x-rays and nails clipped plus look at one that got torn out on saturday(literally) Results=arthritis in lower back. hip dysplasia both hips and one paw/leg covered in an overkill bright blue bandage(and a vet's bill that I would of rather not of had) Son been in bed all day poorly, now whether it's because the dog was at vets and he was stressed or because he has been off the pentasa for a few days(prob bit of both....)
Sorry that everyone appears to be feeling quite low today, hope things pick up for you soon (((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
Posted 8/31/2010 6:52 PM (GMT 0)
mum has had another rant at me today. I am an ungratful cow who is rude and impatient. I should be grateful that i have my food paid for. Her and her fella are making huge consideration in allowing me to come with them. They bend over backwards to include me.

I havent said anything back. It would seem i am wasting my breath. How wanted do i feel? not very. No-one in my life actually wants me. I'm just this problem that people are stuck with, and cos they feel its rude (most of the time) they put up with me.

I really begining to hate myself and my pathetic excuse for a life. its all just pointless.
Posted 8/31/2010 8:42 PM (GMT 0)
Oh, Choc...

:-(

*hug*

I'm glad you're seeing your medical team this week. I wish I could come over and give you a hug and a chat in person. I knwo it's not the same, but we like you and want you :-(.
Posted 8/31/2010 8:42 PM (GMT 0)
ps. Sorry about the dog, Vixen. Last thing you need...
Posted 8/31/2010 8:57 PM (GMT 0)
Awww, choc, I'm so sorry things are going so bad. I'm horrified that mom would say such things to you. Like Ivy said, it's not the same, but we like you!

Vixen-poor pup. What an ordeal that all must have been...and I'm sure the bill was huge as vet bills usually are :(

Ivy, how are you feeling?
Posted 8/31/2010 9:29 PM (GMT 0)
Choc,
I don't know the full story regarding your mum and you, what I will say is sometimes they just will not/cannot be who /what we want them to be. It must be so difficult for you especially battling with illness too.
I had a 'parting of the ways' with my mum last November(shortly before son was diagnosed) and to this day there has been no contact. Regrets? Sometimes yes, but on the whole I feel free to live my life as I choose. One of my sisters had counselling over this too and from our chats about her 'sessions' what came out of it was that you either break free or accept that your mum will never be the person that you want them to be and to continue a sort of relationship but not getting what you want/need from them.
Either way it is a tough call. Don't let her drag you down to her level. Most(but not all) parents would do anything to help their children without rubbing the fact in their face. Please believe that it is not you, they are the ones with issues here.
You do have choices but I do understand they are difficult to make, as suggested, you do really need someone on side to help you chose the options that are right for you.
If you ever need someone to listen in your time zone, I'm available (((hugs))))
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