We care about you but simply are not equipped to help you with this over the Internet. The holidays can be rough and add a chronic illness to it is a double whammy.
You should call your therapist NOW. Most behaviorial health professionals have 24 contact coverage. If you are not comfortable calling your therapist, please call one of the following numbers.
National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.
NDMDA Depression Hotline | Support Group. 800-826-3632
Suicide Prevention Services Crisis Hotline 800-784-2433
Suicide Prevention Services Depression Hotline 630-482-9696