Posted 9/1/2011 1:05 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Friends,
Hope I'm doing this right:) I will be 60 in September, but I look 40 and I act 20. Yes, It's amazing. After a terrible childhood and much turmoil in my 20s, I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease in 1978. I was 27. For 20 years I suffered off and on with the pain and diarrhea and fistulas of Crohn's. I had depression, I had a baby boy (now 30), I had a divorce, I had another good hubby, and still have him (27 years), and another baby girl ( 23, gorgeous, ambitious), and in 1997 had a ileostomy, a total colectomy, and now it is 2011. I have gained a lot of weight. Beats--in some ways--the worrying and many trips to bathroom, the eruptions from many parts of my body, and the stress of being a size 4. Gee, couldn't I please just try that size on one more time? Well, I am a Brunhilda: I lift weights, I do fitness walking, I am a bundle of energy, I have no more depression, but when I look in the mirror, I am sad:( I have tried Lindora, Six week Body makeover, Weight Watchers, and probably my own combination of the components. I am 30 pounds overweight. Am I obese? Well, I can get into size 10 jeans, but my tops are Extra Large. I must be an apple. My husband has been great all along, praise the Lord, and I am way too hard on myself. He snickers and tells me I am so beautiful. I wish I felt beautiful, but I am more concerned with nurturing others. I hope that by doing for others, and not thinking about myself, that the weight will come off and I will feel like a lightweight again. I get red irritated skin under the adhesive of my flange. Nothing seems to help. Supplies are so expensive. What is going to happen when I am 90, if I get dementia like my Mother, who I just put in a care home after being her caregiver for a year? Shoot me now, please. Maybe I'll be OK. Right now, I am OK. after all, I act like I'm 20, except I have a deeper perspective than a 20 year old. Does anyone relate to this? Am I alone in the Universe? Hello?