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Having a flare and very, very sad

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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 9/16/2011 1:17 AM (GMT 0)
HI there,
I haven't posted in quite some time, so I don't know if anyone remembers me. My crohn's has been in remission for a couple of years. I always have some degree of IBS, but for the most part I've been lucky and very healthy. I even made it through my mom's death from cancer last March without coming out of remission. I still miss her like crazy, so I guess I'm still grieving quite a bit. So this last Saturday i had severe stomach pain that kept me up all night and pretty bad D ever since. I saw my GI, and he ordered blood work, stool cultures and scheduled my overdue colonoscopy and endoscopy because my GERD is worsening too. Blood work looked good but I had white cells in stool culture which the doc said is either a return of the evil Crohn's or an infection, and he started Cipro.

The logical part of me tells me that I have a fantastic doc, and we'll figure this out one way or the other. But I have been in remission long enough that it is really hard for me to go back to feeling lousy. I can barely eat, but it isn't the physical stuff...I just feel so lost and sad about it. I guess I liked to pretend that it would never come back.....silly silly me.

I'm just venting, I guess, but anyone else out there get sick after long remissions???? Thanks for listening.
Posted 9/16/2011 1:23 AM (GMT 0)
gumby, so sorry to hear about your mom.

I am also sorry that you're not feeling well. Can we let the grief and stress from your mom's death take the blame for this set back? I know it was months ago, but from my experience the low level, long lasting stress maybe is the worst kind. Plus you're still sad, and feeling bad + grieving sounds really hard.

The good news, as you already know, is that you have a DR who cares and knows you, and you've been down this road before so you know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Stick with your plan, take care of yourself, and stick around here for some great support.

{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Posted 9/16/2011 10:03 AM (GMT 0)
Hi gumby, i'm so sorry to hear about your Mom, i too lost my Mom to cancer just before Christmas last so yes, you are still grieveing and will do for a while i guess..there isin't a day that passes when i don't think of my Mom and i miss her dearly...is it possible the stress of your Mom's illness/death caused you to flare again?i know my symptoms started around the time my Mom go ill (Sept 10) and got gradually worse until i was DX with crohn's in May of this year.i do hope you get better again soon ,
Posted 9/16/2011 2:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hi thanks for the support. I also was diagnosed with Crohn's just after my mom's cancer diagnosis about 5 years ago, so yes there is probably a stress connection. Knowing that doesn't help me prevent the flare though. I heard from my doc last night and he said I have high white blood count in my stool culture but my bloodwork looked good. So, it's either a bad infection or a return of the Crohn's, but he suspects it's the Crohns. I'm having a colonoscopy in a couple of weeks so we'll see. I've been diligent about staying on my maintenance meds throughout the remission, but I guess that doesn't always help. I know I just need to accept this and move on. I'm just disappointed to be sick again, or maybe I just needed to whine. Thanks for listening!
Posted 9/16/2011 2:16 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Gumby44 and welcome back, sorry for the reason you have to return though. I am also sorry to hear about your Mom, I lost my Mom in January 2009 and I still miss her to this day. Mom's have such a important and special place in our hearts, its always hard to lose them.

I really relate to you saying you think you were pretending that it wouldn't come back. I have been out of work since July 1st due to a Crohns flare. I felt really down because it came back, I like you thought I had gone thru so much already and had paid my dues, and thought the worst I would have to deal with was the IBS junk. But like the chronic illness it is, it does come back sadly.

I hope the antibiotics help to quiet things down quickly. Be sure to take your probiotics at least 2 hours after your last antibiotic each day so you don't mess up those bacterial fields. By the way my current flare was due to work stress and my daughter taking the only grandchild I really had a good relationship and moved 2000 miles away from me. So yes, extended stress can most definetly cause us to flare. Big hugs!!!
Posted 9/16/2011 2:32 PM (GMT 0)
hugs to you!!and one more hug just because!!
Posted 9/17/2011 1:48 AM (GMT 0)
I hope u get to feeling better soon..I have had bad spells and then spells where I was pretty good for along time..I always live in fear of another major episode could be right around the corner with no control..I have a major episode that started in my mouth about a week ago with severe IBS symptoms the last couple of days..I am a long term predisone user and was put on Cipro a week ago..My white cells were up..My son has the same fears when in a flare that he might not get better then fear of it coming back..We all feel disappointed when we get better then the stuff comes back in form or another..Hope it is a small bout and goes away!
Cindy
Posted 9/17/2011 3:03 PM (GMT 0)
gumby44, I'm glad to hear that you're staying on your maintenance meds and that you have a scope scheduled. Sometimes I think we need to revise our medication plan, and perhaps you'll do that and then get past this flare and be able to cut back again.

Two and a half years ago my house got struck by lightening and was seriously damaged in the ensuing fire. My husband and children and I, plus our dogs, lived in a rental right next door for the 18 months it took us to rebuild. It was a very stressful time. I knew that I'd be getting sick eventually - it was about a year after the fire that I really understood I was not doing well Crohn's wise. That's about the time I found this forum, and the things I learned from support here really guided my approach to getting better. I do feel so much better than I did last year at this time, and I hope to be able to reduce my meds soon.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Posted 9/17/2011 8:50 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone and thanks for all of the support. The Cipro seems to be helping and the D has dramatically slowed down. Maybe I was just panicking! The Crohn's feels like a curse that is always looming. I was very sick a few years ago...lost thirty pounds and was really weak. I never want to go back to that. I know that just like everyone else here, I just have to live my best life, and deal with what comes along. This forum is always such a help:) Kazbern, sorry about your house...that must have been so traumatic.
Posted 9/17/2011 9:05 PM (GMT 0)
Let's hope that the Cipro keeps working and makes a big difference for you. You'll be in my thoughts--and you, too, Kazbern. As a Katrina survivor, I've been exactly where you are, and it isn't fun. But you and your family will get through this--and even thrive.
Posted 9/18/2011 2:02 AM (GMT 0)
I understand the feeling of this DD always looming over you..It can be extremely stressful. I can look back to times when I was very sick, and I know I could be back there at anytime..I think about it when I leave for a trip, when I start a new job, anything for when I need to be "present". I almost missed my oldest son's graduation because I was stuck in the bathroom in 08' after taking two immodiums and a benytl! I really hope you get to feel better..
Cindy
Posted 9/19/2011 12:40 PM (GMT 0)
I have had CD for 30 years and had been in remission for 5 years (have been on Remicade), but moved and hadn't had it since January.  Now I am out of remission and am in so much pain. I have been having a lot of stress in my life lately so after reading your topic I think between not getting Remicade and the stress I too am out of remission.  Hope you get to feeling good.
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