"I wish I had what you had so I can be thin"

When I hear people say that to me I want to punch them in the neck.  These are people who know me and see what I go through on a daily basis.  Seen me have surgeries, neasea, pain, in and out of the hospital, fever and all the medications and infusions I have.  And that's what you say to me.  You wish you had this so you could lose weight?  You think I wouldn't trade you anything to be like you and eat whatever I want and not pay for it for days?  The ignorance of some people is astonishing. 

I have a standard response to that comment now

....and I wish I had what you have so I could be fat!

OR

...and I wish I had what you have so I didn't have 12 surgeries, $10,000 in meds, bad joints, and I could eat food again.

They're a little harsh so I only save them for those that are truly heartless and not just the kindly ignorant.

Sorry you are going through this Bella! My healthy self is about 10 pounds overweight according to the charts, and when I get flares and lose 10-20 pounds, all is hear is how "fabulous" I look. It makes me want to scream! I get where you are coming from. I do wish I could be thin AND healthy, but given the options, I'll take a little overweight and healthy every time:)

I hate that aspect of this disease :( Today someone was jealous of me (yes, they said "I'm jealous") because my work week got slashed due to my health. Really? Because I would LOVE to be able to work full-time but I physically canNOT. And this was a friend, someone who was by my side through surgery and everything - I don't think she meant it the way that I took it. She should know better though.

Hi,

I was recently diagnosed with Primary Biliary Cirrhosis (on top of Crohn's). When I told my best friend I would need a liver transport in 5-15 years her response was "you can't have mine because I have a fatty liver". I was so hurt by this because I cannot control my cirrhosis but she can stop fatty liver by losing 200 lbs. I have never treated her differently for being so heavy, so this one was hard to take.

Paulad

Just tell them to be careful what they wish for when they haven't a clue what they are talking about.

There's no need to be nasty but there's no need to coddle them either. Tell it like it is.

I actually had a friend tell me at her wedding (and her mom agreed), that they'd love to have what I have b/c I look great being so skinny!

I just let it go b/c it was her wedding and I don't think she meant anything by it, but when I got in the car, I told my husband how upsetting that was to hear! Why would you wish you had Crohn's disease?! Will they wish they will most likely have to have a hip replacement by 40 years old too b/c I have osteopenia from all of the prednisone I've been on?! No, didn't think so.

I just am thankful they think I look good and take it as a positive, since I think they don't really know the details.

I agree with those who say you should just let it go. If no animosity was meant, than no offense should be taken. I realize that it's hard to keep a sense of humor when you're not feeling well, and this horrible disease takes a toll on us emotionally as well as physically. But yes, many of us Crohnies can boast "nice slim figures" - I come from a family of fatties and they are all jealous of that. At least it gives me one small thing to smile about.