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Dad passed away and now the CD is flaring back...

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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 6/7/2013 12:00 PM (GMT 0)
Dad passed away last week.  It is so weird to me being under 50 and already not having a Mom or Dad anymore.  Feel a little orphaned.  Still have to deal with the financial implications of all of this...I still have not slept much in the last 4 weeks worrying about how we will get things paid for and what forms need to be filled out.  Frankly, I have been robbed of the chance to grieve because I spend my time taking care of bills and forms and stuff...

PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE....for the sake of your kids take care of pre-planning (get a will, living will, POA,and Health Care proxy), put your kids names on your checking accounts, if you are low on finances-put what you do have in your kids names very far in advance if possible, pre-plan your funeral and make your wishes known.  If you're the kid, talk to your parents and get these things done.  It may be a hard conversation, but it is so much harder to play catch up and not cry over the man you lost but over the bills you have to deal with.

Now I am having pain starting at my TI area (where my resect was) just when I was starting to feel better from the hernia issues.  I need to get away!!!!!!!!!!

 

Posted 6/7/2013 12:18 PM (GMT 0)
Commiserations about your dad...

Do you have anyone you can ask for help? It's not right or fair that you are not getting a chance to grieve for your dad :/

Try not to fret about the Crohn's (so, so much easier said than done).
Posted 6/7/2013 12:48 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry for your loss.

Can you make some time frequently to do something nurturing and relaxing? Massage, going for a walk, reading a book?

Take care!
Posted 6/7/2013 2:08 PM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry to hear of your loss and your stress. Death is never easy for the main survivor.
Posted 6/7/2013 2:34 PM (GMT 0)
Habs, so sorry to hear of your loss. I have been preaching that same information to everyone I know. I have access and my name is on everything of my parents, including their land titles to their properties. My uncle passed away a year ago and left a complete mess....one we are still working on and will be for years to come.

Take care of yourself and try and let yourself grieve for at least a short time. If you don't, it will hit you much harder and knock you down longer if you wait.

My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

K
Posted 6/7/2013 4:57 PM (GMT 0)
It's so hard to lose your parents, I feel for you. Try not to stress too much about the paperwork as it will be over with soon, hopefully. My husband took on his dad's estate stuff and it was a bit stressful and messy, but looking back I think working through it helped him heal. He was very close to his dad and at the end of a couple of years of grieving had gained quite a bit of insight about their relationship and just life in general. I hope you feel better soon!
Posted 6/7/2013 10:28 PM (GMT 0)
(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) Habs...I know exactly how you feel, lost my dad in 2005 and mom in 2010 and I'll be 46 this month, it is a strange feeling not to have them around...please take extra special care of yourself so you don't end up in a nasty flare.
Posted 6/7/2013 11:09 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know my thoughts will be with you and your family in the days and months to come. Take care of yourself when possible.
Posted 6/7/2013 11:32 PM (GMT 0)
How sad. I am sorry for your loss :(


Hugs
Posted 6/8/2013 12:38 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Habs,
I'm sorry for your loss. Try to take things one step at a time, and hopefully you won't end out in a flare. My mom died two years ago and I still miss her all the time...it does get easier though. I don't have advice about all the finances and paperwork...but so sorry you are going through all of it!
Posted 6/8/2013 2:27 PM (GMT 0)
My condolences Habs! Be very attentive to your health. My dad passed in 2008 and that what when I flared for the first time and it nearly killed me. Take it day by day and try not to stress too much.

Prayers and hugs coming your way!!

 

Posted 6/9/2013 8:17 PM (GMT 0)
My sincerest condolences, Habs. May his soul rest in peace.
Posted 6/10/2013 6:35 PM (GMT 0)
So sorry to hear your sad news. May your dear Dad live on in you memories xx
Posted 6/10/2013 7:02 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Habs, sorry for your lose. My prayers are with you and your family.
Posted 6/11/2013 3:36 AM (GMT 0)
I too wish you strength for this ordeal. You gave good advice which I have not taken yet. Thank you for the reminder. Peace is my wish for you. Grief sucks.
Posted 6/11/2013 3:26 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyone for the kind thoughts. I had a major melt down in front of my family on Saturday. Apparently that's what it takes to get the ones involved who were not. I am trying to take this as whatever happens now is what will happen....got to get the gut under control

You all have been so nice.
Posted 6/11/2013 4:30 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, I find a good "freak out" every now and then works wonders in getting people off their arse and realizing that you need help.

I had one this past weekend! Amazingly enough, things are back to how they should be.

Hope things improve for you. Get your gut back in check and things will improve.

Hugs to you!

k
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