Career problems

My boss (my graduate school mentor) use to be okay with me working from home when I wasn't well because I could get more done in the comfort of my home than going into the lab and running to the bathroom all the time, feeling stressed, etc. Since having lung surgery (pleurodesis) this year, she has yelled at me saying that my health issues are getting in the way of my career and that I can't expect to be successful. She even had the nerve to call me handicapped and disabled a few times. I've gone to HR but these issues continue. I've started a notebook documenting all of the progress I make, how long I work, and whenever there's an issue with my boss.

I need to schedule hip surgery sometime soon (within the next year) and I need her cooperation to let me work from home while recovering from the procedure. She's pushing me to graduate fast so I can just have the surgery after I graduate, although that doesn't make logistical sense because 1) I might be starting a new job and don't feel right taking time off right away 2) I'll be moving to another state away from my family to help care for me after surgery 3) if I don't get a job right away, I'll have no income and no insurance.

As a student, I'm just considered part-time so I don't have the same FMLA benefits as a full-time employee. What can I/should I do??????

Marie-

I hope I didn't hurt your feelings too much. If so, I apologize. High end academics are very focused on their career and the outcomes. Many of them do not take time to be ill, and do not understand it in others. As a grad student, you have to play by their rules.

Hope everything works out well.

Hi Marie,

I assume you are a PhD student? How far are you into your program? How long (reasonably) will it take you to finish your degree? Do you think that, given your current health, that it is the best decision to pursue a PhD at this time; in other words, can you find work that does not require you to have a PhD that (preferably) you would still enjoy and would take advantage of your skills?

I ask these questions as a (relatively new) professor who also suffers from chronic illness and who also went through all of graduate school (6.5 years) with chronic illness.

Myself09 does bring up a number of valid questions. In all likelihood, your mentor was trying to be as accommodating as possible but reached a point where she became concerned that you were falling behind and were not reaching certain milestones. Does your program have annual reviews where you fill out forms and meet with your advisor and/or a committee to discuss your progress in the program? More generally, do you have an open relationship with your advisor? I know how hard it is to talk about sensitive subjects like your health problems with your advisor but in this kind of situation you need to try to be as open as possible about what you're able to do, when you're not able to meet a deadline due to health reasons, when you'll be able to make up work, etc. so as to keep her in the loop and reassure her that the reasons for the extra needed time are because of health and not because you are not motivated (because honestly, some PhD students get "distracted").

To be perfectly honest with you, if your health is quite poor, you may need to take a break from your PhD or find a new advisor who is willing to let you go at your own pace. I am in a different field than you as well, but most faculty, especially those in R1 universities and those running labs, have deadlines to meet and need each of their students to be meeting deadlines and achieving a certain amount of work in a given amount of time...just like in the business world. It really does suck because you have so little control over your health, but that has to be your priority.

I would also follow starryeyed's advice and talk to your university's disability service's office if you haven't already to see if there are any additional services they can provide.

I'm sorry you're in such a tough spot and I hope things start to look up for you soon.

Agree, agree Vitaka.

I had an undergraduate student last year with Crohns. She took a while to bring the paperwork from student disability services in. When she did, we had a talk. I disclosed my Crohns and then explained that a due date is a due date. She was taking speech comm., and frankly I do not do make-ups, on either performances or written work. I told her I expect clear and realistic communication from you. I can wiggle some on SOME written work, but the performance aspects of the class are all you, and are expected on time.

She did well on three projects, and had a huge flare during project #4, no work turned in. She passed the class with a low C. I think she appreciated that when she turned around and mouthed at me "Flare", I understood and really appreciated her work.

I agree with you, Minnie, to a certain point. Once you get through to the graduate level, your personal complications do not make that much difference. You either perform, or not. It's great if people understand, but I have never missed a due date, and have only cancelled class a few times in my twenty year career. Once with a vicious migraine that had me walking into things, several times when I had unstoppable vomiting, and once, memorably, when they wouldn't let me leave the hospital.

Anyway, my point is that we are all human, and therefore have problems of various magnitudes. The problems are no reason to not succeed; It's our job to make sure the work gets done, regardless of how we feel and what's going on. It's that stick-to-it-ivness that ultimately decides success.