Ah, now I understand more clearly what's going on. The only confusing part now is, the use of the term "stage four" Crohn's.
I've never heard of that descriptive before. Could you give some more detail about your son? How long has he had Crohn's? How old is he? Has he been on any prescribed medications?
surgery can be a vialble option, but the medication route should be thoroughly explored first. Even a cycle of prednisone, followed by an anti-TNF drug, may bring the condition of his bowel back to a normal state. Particularly if its mostly inflammation he's dealing with.
You'll get many more replies here with good advice. The one piece of advice I'll give you is, be firm with your Dr's. If you don't feel confident with who you're seeing, then go to someone else. YOu might get recommendations for GI's and surgeons in your area via websites like HW or others.
Good luck, and keep us posted.
Tom.