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Sexual intercourse with abdominal pain

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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 4/15/2014 1:34 PM (GMT 0)
My partner has had active chrons for about seven years. She also enjoys sexual intercourse but every time we do this she experiences abdominal pain and discomfort after period of time and we are forced to stop. She has already had a colostomy bag and had it removed years ago. What should I do to avoid causing her pain without stopping sexual intercourse however I will if need be. I want to please her not hurt her.
Posted 4/15/2014 2:47 PM (GMT 0)
I may be asking the obvious here, but have you tried different positions? Maybe some relaxation techniques for her as part of foreplay? Sometimes tension/stress can make things worse.

I would also consider consulting an OBGYN who is familiar w IBD (they exist, I have found some) if the pain is interrupting your sex life all the time. I'm sure we all have pain once in a while which puts a halt to intimacy, but it seems abnormal to have pain all the time. If the OBGYN cannot help, they may be able to point you in the direction of the proper specialty. Perhaps a urologist?

I would definitely consult a physician, no need to go without life's little pleasures- esp with this disease. I for one take all the "little pleasures" I can get!! Good luck to you, sounds like your partner is lucky to have you.
Posted 4/15/2014 2:53 PM (GMT 0)
Is her disease really controlled? I have pelvic pain when I have active inflammation. Otherwise, I am fine.
Posted 4/15/2014 3:49 PM (GMT 0)
I too get really bad pelvic pain during intercourse, sometimes different positions help, but for me what I found has helped the most is having a hot bath (I always use epsom salt) and then getting right to it afterwards, that helps me big time with abdominal pain/cramping during intercourse.
Posted 4/16/2014 8:50 PM (GMT 0)
I also experience pain during intercourse. My ob/gyn couldn't necessarily find anything "wrong", but it started after being diagnosed with Crohn's. She said it could be due to inflammation, but she wasn't sure (switching drs next month!).
I agree with the above poster about a warm bath to relax beforehand. I also suggest morning sex. I know it sounds crazy, but my belly hurts more in the evening after a day of eating, working and working out. The morning is the best time for me because I haven't eaten yet and have less pain. Also, the only positions that help me are from the side or laying on my stomach.
Posted 4/16/2014 8:56 PM (GMT 0)
I used to really enjoy morning sex until I got sick, after that it was a permanent good-bye to morning sex since my disease is so active in the mornings, sex is the last thing on my mind. :(
Posted 4/16/2014 9:15 PM (GMT 0)
I've experienced pain with intercourse for several years, even before my IBD symptoms started. I recently asked my OB/GYN to please do a laparoscopy and he found/removed endometriosis. Does your partner have a family history of endometriosis, by chance? It would be good for her to talk to her OB/GYN about pain with intercourse. The doctor will likely give her a thorough pelvic exam to determine where the pain is coming from.

I agree that side positions are the best because penetration isn't as deep. Also, something relaxing beforehand and using lots of lubricant may help.
Posted 4/16/2014 10:52 PM (GMT 0)
I have pain because I have a RV fistula. And when I'm flaring, any weight on my abdomen hurts. It's really great of you to be so thoughtful of her with this.

My husband and I have just had to experiment a lot with different angles and positions. A lot of it is emotional for me. I enjoy making love with my husband, but since it's started hurting I start off feeling tense. I've had to come to terms with being ok if we have to stop. I used to just feel so guilty about it because it made him feel guilty for hurting me. Or I'd feel guilty for getting so far and then have to stop. But if I didn't stop, I eventually started to dread it but want to at the same time.

So as you experiment with different positions, etc., focus on your love for each other. That's why it's called "love-making." So acceptance of yourself and each other if you have to stop or if it didn't work at that angle or position. And reaffirm that it's not about the actual orgasm, but expressing your love for each other as an whole overall experience.
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