You know I really am sorry that like me, you have Crohns-Colitis. And I'm sorry that you were forced into a surgery to remove your colon when this is what you really did not want, but you had no other option then.
You have said many times you wish you had tried more things, but again this was not an option for you and that now you suffer from depression etc.
When I think back some 12 years ago to the day I was told to prepare for surgery and declined this option - I did so simply because I was scared and stubborn. Heck I barely knew what IBD was. All I knew was that I was terribly ill and absolutely terrified. I think about
all of the years of suffering this decision caused me on a daily basis. The inability to leave the house, work, all the pain, all the symptoms, the loss of friends and family that grew up around me and got on with life while I rode through all these flares alone and spent days and weeks in bed. I think about
the roller coaster ride of all the diets and supplements and medications and side effects and at the end of the day, what I really wonder is how my life would be today had I not been so stubborn and scared back then.
These diseases and the effects they have on us are terrible.
None of us can truly understand the frustration you must have over your surgery and situation and the effect your depression has on you on a daily basis. But I do hope you find peace one day. Happiness. Somehow. You deserve it after all you have suffered through as do any of us.
Post Edited (Canada Mark) : 12/7/2014 12:44:25 PM (GMT-7)