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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 4/9/2015 9:51 AM (GMT 0)
Hello fellow Chronsies,
It's me again...I stopped coming here because it depresses me,but now it's time to ask for advice again.I;m in good health THANK GOD,but my mental state is really shaky.I have been in depression for a good couple months.It's affecting my friendships as well.I di not cut,nor do i drink or smoke or do drugs.I'm just quet and act strange.I started pretending i don't have an illness that doesn't go away.It didn't end well....My mother's sick....My brother's moving after graduating....My friends at school treat me like a background panel....I want to get bigger already i'm still small.Well i have some improvement i'm 33 kg and 1.50 sm .But this is awfully little for a 15 year old.I cant act like i want in school,everyone treats me like a middle schooler.My dad is often away working....I just feel like nothing makes sense and meaning anymore.Why am i doing the things i do now if they won't have any meaning in the future.I cant go to my dream college because they wont let people with chronic illness to apply.I want to drink milk and cola sooo badly....I'm in remission for a year and something..I feel really blessed for that and thankful.I just feel hopeless.I sleep really late.I dont have a good appetite.I'm strange at school.I just have no vibe.I dont want to go talk to people or to a psycholotrist or wathever its called.I want to go on a vacation.But there really isnt anyone i can go with or time or place...I feel like after i got better stuff in my social life started collapsing.What can i do to feel better?Talk to others about this?No one understands its no use.Do stuff i like?Is it really only that?Im tired of doing things alone and not having any friends to like the things i like.I guess im just a winy stypid kid after all.*sigh* For all of you who are suffering take care be healthy and happy and happy easter

Post Edited (texikka) : 4/9/2015 3:55:55 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/9/2015 1:36 PM (GMT 0)
Hugs Texikka,
You and your family are going through a lot of changes and that can be stressful for anyone. I'm happy to hear that you are in remission-that's huge! I'll bet everyone in your class is struggling with something, 15 can be a hard age for anyone. When I was your age my mom was sick, too, I had other family and school problems as well. Like you I felt very out of place in school. Some of those hard times you just have to walk through to get to the better times ahead. What helped me was taking time to find out what my strengths were, and working towards getting my college degree. I had a hard time in high school but LOVED college. Even if you can't go to your dream school there are wonderful opportunities out there for you. What are you interested in studying?
Posted 4/9/2015 4:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hello big betty,
you really make me happy :) thanks for understanding and for the support!I'm glad that you get to love college.I want to study drama and comedy acting and become an actress.I've been to a festival and i have won an award so i think i must have some talent.This is my strenght actually!Thank you for you time and care :)))
Posted 4/9/2015 7:42 PM (GMT 0)
That sounds great Texikka, the difficult experiences you have had will give you a lot of depth and material to explore with your comedy and acting career if that's what you decide to do. People who have it too easy are not as interesting as artists in my humble opinion : )
Posted 4/11/2015 5:00 PM (GMT 0)
I was a sick teen too, texikka, and it really shaped my life.
I thought that I was going to die young and so I was in such a hurry to see the world.
I did so much living and working abroad and university because I wanted to enjoy myself while I still could.
But the one thing that I refused to do was let anybody get too close.
It took years and almost dying again and a major depression for me to go out and seek human contact.
I think that people focus so much on the symptoms of Crohns that they don't see how much of an impact they have on a young person's mental state.
When you're diagnosed as a child, Crohns becomes as much a part of you as your skin color and as much as you try to push it away, it never truly disappears.
My advice is to have fun and live while you can, but keep going to your doctor.
Try to hold onto that feeling of being glad you're alive.
Posted 4/13/2015 8:05 AM (GMT 0)
gypsyfr Well yeah at times i do think to myself will i die young? Will i die right before i graduate and not be able to live life further,then why's the point in all of this anyway....But,i really dont care and thank like that anymore.Surely there is always a way for me to stay alive.It's not easy to stay alive,but it's easyer to stay alive get it :D ?I'm sorry about you :( i too think i had undiagnosed depression.While you push people away,im trying to keep everyone close.I'm like "hey i just met you and this is crazy but be my bestfriend and let me hug you,i need more friends so i could die happy,please dont reject me,or ill be sad".I dont think that i will make the people around me miserable ...Because for them im just a normal little kid.They have probably never experienced the stuff i do and never will.So they stay away from my illness.Then i should to right?My little phylosophy"Drink pills,get shots,dont drink milk,dont eat sweets,no alchohol,no coffee.But live life fully,do whatever makes you happy,get drunk at least once,get high at least once,drink coffee at least two times,and get a killer shot of milk in a whole bowl of cereal :D " And yes i am very glad that im alive.I dont want to die,only because i will hurt my loved ones and that i will lose life,feelings,memories,nature,fun...God bless all of you <3
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