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Posted 11/19/2007 9:18 PM (GMT 0)
I don't know what I'm going to do.  My boss sat down with me this morning and basically told me if I don't get better by the end of the year, he's going to start looking for a new office manager.  I can't help it that I'm sick.  If I could give back this darn disease I would.  He's acting like I'm not doing everything I could to get better.  He questions me about my diet and medications and even what I do in my free time.  Like I'm out running around having a good time instead of taking care of myself.  I go to the grocery store and the library once a week.  Every couple of weeks I go to the craft store or the book store and I get a massage.  That's it.  I don't go to the movies, I don't go out with friends, I don't go anywhere.  I'm working about 36 hours a week right now, and most weeks I'm just about dead by Friday.  Who's going to hire me to work less than 40 hours a week, for enough money to continue to live on my own with insurance?  If my insurance lapses I am up you-know-what creek.  The Crohn's will become a pre-existing condition and no one will insure me at all.  My medical bills without the insurance this year were about twice my annual salary.  And that's just April to November.  I'm afraid I'm going to end up living with my parents.  I cried all the way home for lunch, and I keep breaking into tears as I write this.  It's the first time I've cried since all this happened.  I guess it had to come out sometime.  My guts are churning and my face is all swollen and red.  I haven't managed to eat anything yet, and I have to or else I can't take my pills.  If he says anything more to me today I'm going to start crying again.  And I just know he is.  We had a second little "talk" right before I left for lunch in which he blamed me for not making sure the warehouse is sending out all shipments on time.  He wants me making a list of every little mistake- the subtext being that he's keeping one on me.  What more am I supposed to do?  I'm already doing the best that I can. <!--Signature-->
Posted 11/19/2007 9:28 PM (GMT 0)
I am so so sorry you had to listen to your Jerk of a boss say those things to you. Oh how I understand. I had that little talk given to me about 2 1/2 years ago by my boss. She basically said the same thing to me but added that " her mother had colitis and she wasn't sick all the time". I was so upset! I ended up taking an FMLA leave and never went back. I was hospitalized 5 times that year but yet my boss didn't believe I was "that sick". I am fortunate enough that my ins is through my husband's work, but financially it has been EXTREMELY difficult for us. Thank Goodness for our parents, but it's frustrating and embaressing. I feel so guilty sometimes. You have to take care of yourself and do what's best for you. Don't listen to that jerk. Take in info on this disease, give him a book, call an attny and find out what your legal rights are. He CANNOT fire you for having a disease. Take care!!!
Posted 11/19/2007 10:32 PM (GMT 0)
This is a first. It sounds like your boss can't be bothered to collect evidence to build a case against you, so he is asking you to keep a list of your own mistakes to build a case against yourself.

I guess you can't refuse to do what he asked, or you could be accused of insubordination, which is a firing offense. However, who is to say what constitutes a mistake? If you don't think you make any mistakes, the list is short or nonexistent. If you do make mistakes, just pick the most innocuous one and put it on your list.

Meanwhile, do be sure to find out what your legal rights are. I'm sure Crohn's is recognized as a disability, and you can't be fired for a disability. But check with an attorney who specializes in disability and employment law.

Posted 11/19/2007 10:49 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. In a perfect world everyone would/could make accomodations for every sick person out there. It's not a perfect world.

Unfortunately, you can be fired if you are unable to do the work you were hired for. You would think the ADA act would protect people, and they do to a certain extent, but businesses also have the right to have employees be able to do the work they were hired for.

I can see both sides as my husband owns his own company, but I can't imagine he'd ever fire someone for being ill, he would try and help them out and maybe hire someone to take up the slack. Not because he has to, but because that's the kind of guy he is.

It sounds like your boss has already made up his mind. It sounds like it will be physically impossible for you to live up to what he expects because of your disease.

As hard as it is, you may want to contact your family and see what they say. You may want to hold your options open for moving back home. It may even be a good thing for a while, maybe get a part-time job and live at home for a while, less stress on you.

I would start planning, maybe look for another job, maybe a part-time job. See how much Cobra will cost, etc.

This disease is so tough sometimes, I hope you find support and caring from your family because you may need it for a while.
Posted 11/20/2007 12:32 AM (GMT 0)
Hi I totally agree with Judy on this. Also my prayers with you and I am sending you a big hug also.
Posted 11/20/2007 12:44 AM (GMT 0)
Check out FMLA, Family Medical Leave Act, it is a federal program that is proteccted by the govt. if you need time off for medical reasons. Your boss cannot fire you for medical reasons. Although, he can pick apart everything you do, work-related, to "build a case against you" as you say. I was in the same boat, not Crohn's related, but I had to have surgery on my spine. Leading up to the surgery my managers started picking me apart, every aspect of my job, because they were grooming me for a position and knew I was going to be out for at least three months and would have to find someone else. They weren't happy.
As soon as I filed for FMLA with the HR dept. they backed the hell off. According to FMLA, you can have 12 weeks out of the year off for medical reasons and you will still be covered under your insurance plan. They may make you pay more for your ins. plan, and you don't get your salary, but it saves your job. It's definitely something to look into. I hope that you figure something out that will work for you.
I had to quit my job a few months back and I'm currently covered under COBRA, for 18 months, even though I'm not working for the company anymore. It's almost $400 a month for me but it's the only way I'd be covered for all of the Crohn's related crap. No pun:0) I found out about the Crohn's two weeks after I resigned, and started back taking classes towards my nursing degree. Anyway, sorry this is so long, but at least you do have SOME options, not as desirable as being cured, but we all wish for that.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and try not to worry about this through the holiday weekend. God Bless!
Jenny
Posted 11/20/2007 3:52 AM (GMT 0)
There is a chapter in the book "The First Year: Crohn's Disease and Ulcerative Colitis" by Jill Sklar on "The Workplace, the Law and IBD" which discusses the Americans with Disabilities Act and FMLA. You can get the book from Amazon and might find it helpful. I am self-employed, so I have some control over my hours, but financially I really should pick up more work, and yet I'm terrified, because I never know how I will feel each day. You need to look at your financial situation, your disease and stress level and do what is right for you in the big picture. If your boss really thinks you are slacking, you might refer him to the ccfa website to educate himself on the disease. Maybe he just has no clue what you are really going through. Good luck with whatever you decide.
Posted 11/20/2007 7:16 AM (GMT 0)
I am sorry that you are having to go through this,you have gotten some good advice that's for sure.My dad has missed a lot of work this past year and was on probation for 90 day's because he went over the amount of sick day's.Well last month my dad got real sick we had to rush dad to the ER and his stomach was swollen so nbad he looked as though he was six months pregnate(sp)and was addmited and had to have surgery and was diagnosed with small bowel syndrom and he was compleatley stoped up every thing for about a week or according to his doctor and it was all accumating in his small intestions and he had to have surgery to remove a large part of his small intestion removed.I went to my dad's place of employment to get the FMLA paper for his doctor's to fill out I had 24 hours to get the forms filled out and back to them.The point that I am trying to make is he would have for sure been fired if he had not file thoes paper's.My dad is recovering but his doctors told him at his last visit that it would at least be another five to seven week's before they would even concider letting him go back to work.Please take care of your self and please know we are here for you any time.
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