it is compleetly normal to be scard, I've been there, I am there. I too am getting sicker by the week, I know I will be going into the hospital on friday, and that it will only help me for a little while, but it is long enough for me to remember how much I love life. you will find that while CF is progressive you get used to each stage of the disease. my Pulinary functions have gone down 8% this year, however I still feel prity good after I get out of the hospital.
also if the antibiotics havn't been working for you have they done culters and sencitivities to the bacteria you have. if your bacteria is resistent to the meds they are using they may have to try a different antibiotic, or use more than one at once. whe I go into the hospital I am always on at least 2 IV antiobiotics and an inhailed one.
best of luck to you, I hope the docters can help you get your CF under controle very quickly!