I am 19 years old single mother with Cystic Fibrosis and I have a 9 month old son. I work full time and I am about to start college this semester and I live on my own. My son's father has nothing to do with my son so raising him alone would be difficult for any person at my age along with my other responsibilities. The only person I really have is my mother and she is ill with heart disease and cancer so she can't help as much as she would like. Most of my family doesn't talk to me as often because I think I have become a disappointment to them getting pregnant at 17. But my son was a blessing in disguise, since he was not planned. I would never do my treatments, I smoked and I drank not caring about my future. I always thought I had nothing to live for because I would die young. But then my son came along...
My entire outlook on life has changed. I do have something to live for. Having CF makes it very hard to have children, so me having him makes me know I'm here for a reason. Ever since I had my son I have been getting more sick than usual. It worries me I won't be there to watch my son grow up and have a family. I know all the responsibilities I have is wearing my body down to it's core. I may not even need to go to college knowing I may not live through it or to make a career with it. But there is no guarantee of that. If that is the case then I want my son to know how much of a fighter I am and to set a good example for him. He needs to know I never gave up.
It's very tiring doing all that I have to do while having CF. I can never get the care that I need or I put it off because my sons needs have to come first. My son has issues of his own and has physical therapy once a week. I have to work and start school, so it's hard to get my treatments in. I try as much as possible, but I am exhausted when I get home at 2am from work and wake up at 6:30am with my son everyday. Sometimes I feel like giving up and that I'll be alone for the rest of my life. But I will never be alone. It's my son I worry about. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, but who knows what the future has to hold. It could be rocky or could be smooth.
Thanks for reading!