HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

hating life...

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
12
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 3/4/2008 9:37 PM (GMT 0)
      I really hate it here at home. I'm sorry to complain, I just feel like I'm being treated bad.

I was happy this weekend that my parents let me go to Columbus to see my friend from Michigan for her Bday. Since she's not from around here. my parents let me tell her I was home. It was nice to get away for the weekend and see my friend. I had alot of fun.

      However, today it started becoming bad again at home. My mom became upset because I have not done anatomy 5 hrs a day like she wants me to. I don't have to study much for the class at the community college since it's easy for me. She just wants me to study for the class I failed in grad school so I can be prepared for next year. I wanted to go work out today like every day, but my mom said she doesn't think I should because of the weather. She monitors to see I'm doing anatomy on my computer and not talking to other people. I wanted to watch some TV and she told me not to.

    Today, one of the girls in my class told me her mom works at a certain nursing home and I told her my dad worked there too. She called her mom and her mom said she knew my dad and that my dad was so nice. I later called my dad to tell him and he got so upset about it. It made me feel so bad. I really hate this. My mom thinks my unmotivation and not being able to focus as with studying is because I'm lazy and depressed. She also thinks that maybe since I have depression I won't be able to make it through grad school :-( I yelled at her after she said that and told her to shutup. I told her I was tired of her. I felt bad after saying that. I'm going to see my psychiatrist on Wed. to see if she can adjust my medicine so I can focus more and help with motivation.

Post Edited (confusedgirl22) : 3/4/2008 2:40:00 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 3/4/2008 9:44 PM (GMT 0)
Oh confused I am really sorry to hear that.
I just wanted to ask you a question... What is it that you want? What are YOUR hopes and dreams and goals?
Just think if you could do anything what you whanted what would it be?
I just can t understand why your parents are treating you like a 10 year old.
I know they mean well, but not allowing you watch TV or chat to people is couterproductive I think.
And about the motivation when you are depressed its normal not to have any motivation.
Its not lazyness.
Take care,
hug
sun
Posted 3/4/2008 10:49 PM (GMT 0)
I am so happy that you are seeing your psychiatrist on Wed, Does she counsel you also, or just do prescriptions? It is good for you to have someone to talk to. I am sorry your mom treats you like that and I am sorry your dad got so mad. I hope things work out for you soon.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 3/5/2008 9:06 PM (GMT 0)

Hello.

      I went to my psychiatrist today and told her how I felt. She told me I should continue taking zoloft but to also take Wellbutrin. Have any of you taken Wellbutrin before? She is putting me on a low dose of it. I'm worried about weight gain but she said that shouldn't happen with Wellbutrin. She said the Wellbutrin will help me with being motivated and less tired. She also told me I should be more assertive with my parents and try to change my thinking patterns when I don't feel good enough, pretty enough, smart enough etc. I hope the Wellbutrin will increase my energy and concentration. If anyone has taken this please let me know how it worked for you! Thank you!

Posted 3/5/2008 10:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Confused,

I have taken wellbutrin, you will not gain weight from it. It is a stimulating anti depressant. It does give you energy and helps you think really good, you will be sharp as a tack. I did quit taking it and they put me on effexor, actually I took both at the same time. I think it will really help you a lot. And as always you know that you can email me if you need to talk.

Luv and hugs,
Karen
Posted 3/5/2008 10:08 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for letting me know gettingby. It's good to know it doesn't cause wait gain. Why did you quit taking it?
Posted 3/5/2008 10:44 PM (GMT 0)
Taking the effexor and that was too much. And I guess that the doctor figured that i needed effexor more. Also after a while it made food taste funny for me. But that doesn't mean that it will for you. But with both it was overstimulating and I couldn't sleep at night. Effexor is a lot like wellbutrin.

hugs, Karen
Posted 3/5/2008 11:04 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Karen. I'll let you know how Wellbutrin works out! If anyone else has taken this antidepressant let me know how it worked for you!
Posted 3/5/2008 11:46 PM (GMT 0)

Dear confused,

I am glad you saw your Pdoc today and that your adding wellbutrin as sometimes a combo of the meds will make the difference.

Do you see a therapist also, someone who can help you learn to feel good about yourself as a persona and not let your parents comments keep putting you down.

I can imagine the stress you are under.  Please take care and know we are all here for you and reading your posts.

Kitt

Posted 3/6/2008 8:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kit.
Yes I do see a therapist as well as my Psychiatrist. I just wish I wasn't so tired all the time. I'm taking my first dose of Wellbutrin tonight. I don't know whether I should take it in the morning or at night. Maybe I should take it tomorrow morning since I take zoloft in the morning as well.
Posted 3/7/2008 2:17 AM (GMT 0)
I'm so sick of my parents putting me down almost every day. Some days they're supportive and other days they put me down. They tell me how I won't make grad school because I'm not motivated here at home. I'm not motivated because I'm sad about everything that happened. They don't understand. They tell me that I won't pass and succeed in grad school. They're making me hide my car at my grandma's house so no relatives and friends see it for a week during my supposed spring break...it's like they're ashamed of me. They think relatives and friends will give me the "evil eye" and have me fail again if they know I'm home. I hate this so much. I'm so sad. :-( I just need some advice.

Posted 3/7/2008 5:19 AM (GMT 0)

I imagine how hard it is for you Confused knowing what you are going through and not having your parents be very supportive of you.  Did I read in another post that you are going to a community college right now?  It sounds like your parents want you to put everything in the past and push on.  I know that is very difficult at this time for you.  Try not to let their opinions get to you.  You know that you are doing the best you can providing the circumstances.  In fact I think you are doing quite well and deserve to pat yourself on the back!

Hugs, Karen

Posted 3/7/2008 5:32 AM (GMT 0)
Yes. I'm going to a community college taking an Anatomy course.. to prepare for when I go back to grad school end of July. I don't really study for it. It's so much easier here than in grad school. Also, they want me to study alot for the class I failed not for this one at the community college. But I'm just not motivated right now. Hopefully the Wellbutrin will take when I start it tomorrow morning.  
Thanks for the support. What do you think about the gym incident do you think it's anxiety or is something wrong with my brain? Because I feel something is wrong with me since I said that ridiculous thing today. I keep thinking/dwelling about it :-(

Post Edited (confusedgirl22) : 3/6/2008 10:40:18 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 3/7/2008 1:31 PM (GMT 0)

Hi there,

I think you need to make a decision as to what you want to do with your life. If your parents keep telling you that you cant do it, then make it your motivation to prove them wrong. I have done this before. When I failed my first year at college, I said I was going to take a year out and then return to college. Everybody (Including my parents) told me that I would like the full-time wage too much to go back to college. So I motivated myself by proving them wrong because I believed in myself.

Darren

Posted 3/7/2008 4:14 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Confused,

I thought I answered your post last night, but maybe I didn't submit it.  Who knows, that is me for you. 

I wouldn't dwell on what you said.  It was an accident, so to speak. You said that he smiled at you so I don't think he thought anything of it.  So dont' be embarrassed.  Who knows maybe you will become friends with him.  In fact it sounded kind of cute.  I can just picture you saying that.  So don't let it stop you from going back to the gym.  Just go back as if it didn't happen.

hugs, Karen

Posted 3/7/2008 4:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Karen. Thanks. I do feel embarassed though. Sometimes I mess up when I'm nervous and I don't know why. :-(
Posted 3/7/2008 4:30 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Sweetie,

I think that we all do that at one time or another, I wouldn;t worry about that too much, and please don't let it stop you from going back to the gym.  It is different to me though that they use fingerprinting.  Things change though and I probably am not up on the new changes.

I hope that you have a wonderful day.  And as always email me at any time.  I love hearing from you.

Have a wonderful day,

peace and hugs, Karen

Posted 3/8/2008 6:29 AM (GMT 0)

djdaz_1985 said...
Hi there,

I think you need to make a decision as to what you want to do with your life. If your parents keep telling you that you cant do it, then make it your motivation to prove them wrong. I have done this before. When I failed my first year at college, I said I was going to take a year out and then return to college. Everybody (Including my parents) told me that I would like the full-time wage too much to go back to college. So I motivated myself by proving them wrong because I believed in myself.

Darren

Hi Confused,
I totally agree with Darren here. I know its hard when you have depression, but only you can change your life. Nobody can do that for you noyt even your parents.
I wish sometimes somebody would chnange my life and live it for me but thats not how it works unfortunatly.
I hope that you find the strenght to make your life a happier one.
And you have to tell yourself every day that you are a good and worthy and lovable person.
Beleive in yourself!
love
sun
Posted 3/10/2008 12:35 AM (GMT 0)
I also agree with darren sweetie........you have to motivate self into proving them wrong
Believe in yourself and know you are a good person ......

I am so sorry you are going thru all of this BUT happy you are seeing a PDOC about it .........

Thapughts and prayers are with you

LYN
Posted 3/11/2008 1:08 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Confused,

I know it's especially hard to stand up to your parents when you're living under their roof. I quit college while I was living under my parent's roof and that didn't go over well. But, a few events happened during that time frame that helped me put my life into perspective and I decided to go back to school on my own terms about six months later at a school I chose rather than being told where they would pay for me to go. It was a liberating, but terrifying experience. I really thought they would disown me or something, but I was looking out for my own self interests, since they weren't. And I wasn't going to back down, 'cause I knew what I wanted. I had a good therapist who helped me figure out what I wanted and I a very suportive and understanding boyfriend at the time. I hope you can find your own voice and figure out what it is that you want out of life.

As far as Wellbutrin goes, it gave me a ton of energy! I loved it, I felt like I was back in high school again after drinking five Mt. Dew's! :)
Posted 3/11/2008 3:43 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Sad,

That is something to be so proud of, I commend you for that.  I think Confused is struggling because she has her parents dictating everything and hopefully with the help of her counselor she can achieve the same as you.  At least to be doing what she wants with her life, without her parents telling her what they want all of the time.

Hugs,  Karen

Posted 3/13/2008 12:28 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Karen,

It was a difficult road, but those types of journeys always yield the best results in the end! :)

Confused,

I do hope that you have at least one person you can confide in that is supportive, understanding, and compassionate. Since, it sounds like you are in a difficult situation that is compounded by overbearing, protective parents. May I ask how old you are? And is there anyway you can stay with a friend or relative until you go back to school? Also, have you discussed coping mechanisms with your therapist on how to effectively deal with your parents? It might be helpful if you haven't already.
Posted 3/13/2008 1:23 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Sadsong,

Everytime I read your name I think of an Elton John song.  Sad songs they say so much.  LOL 

I too believe that our journeys do bring us to a good place in life.  And I have found that there are all kinds of little journeys throughout our lives.  I feel as long as I am doing the best that I can, and it doesn't have to be perfect but just to try, that things will work out okay for me.  And even if it is small, the journey is still a significant part of me and my life.

peace and hugs, Karen

Posted 3/14/2008 6:00 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for those of you who responded. I'm ok...still a little sad.. but doing better with Wellbutrin. Sadsong, I'm 23 years old. I have a Biology degree, but would like to go to grad school to become an optometrist. I was in optometry school for one semester but failed one of the ten courses. I was not able to continue with the program this yr, but am allowed to come back at the end of July to start the program again since I just failed one class. I am taking the same class (Anatomy) at a community college here to better prepare myself for the class in grad school. So far it is a lot easier compared to the course at my grad school. I have thought about living with a friend or other relative until I go to grad school but I don't want to disappoint my parents. I can start telling my friends I'm home this week (for spring break) and also at the end of April (for summer). I went to my psychologist today. He told me that I need to be more assertive with my parents. He told me that I shouldn't share so much information with them. He also said it would be in my best interest to confide in a friend or other relative for support. Right now, I am at my grandmas from 6am til 5 pm every day for 2 weeks. We are having our house painted, and my parents don't want the lead painter (one of my dad's friends) to see me and my car in the house. The reason they don't want him to see my car is because he knows I went to FL for grad school. And my parents think that the painter would question why my car is there if I'm supposedly only staying in OH for one week for spring break. So I am hiding my car at my grandma's :-( The psychologist thinks that this is ridiculous. But my parents tell me they are trying to protect my reputation. :-( Do you also think this is ridiculous? I'm really confused. The psychologist also told me that one I gain my confidence back, and become more assertive with my parents, I can focus on relationships with guys that are healthy so that I'm not vulnerable to the guys who take advantage of me. He told me not to rely on guys' opinions of me to increase my self-esteem and happiness, but to just be happy with myself. Thanks for your concern. I hope you all are doing well!

Post Edited (confusedgirl22) : 3/14/2008 12:08:12 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 3/14/2008 6:05 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Confused,

It sounds like your therapist is really on to something and I believe that this will be good for you.  I would do what he says.  And keep working with him.

You sound like you are doing a lot better.  I know what those guys did to you hurts.  But there are just some bad people out there and hopefully you wont get used anymore by them.  I am really proud of you.  You are doing a good job.

Luv and hugs Karen

✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
12