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depressed but also impressed (sorry about the long post)

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Posted 4/18/2008 3:09 AM (GMT 0)
Hello,

First of all what a caring community of people. I am impressed that this sort of forum for people to reach out to each other exists. Some of the posts and reply to posts might be more important to someone else than that person will ever know, and just reading them has lifted some of the haze of anxiety and fear of this great "unknown" called depression. Keep up the commitment!

I'm new here. Just some background to how I found my way here: I am going through a break up with my girlfriend of close to 4 years. By far the longest and most serious relationship I have had. I followed her to another country about a year and a half ago and have been living with her since. The break up is dragging out. It has not been smooth. I have been trying to move into another place but things have been delayed. Finally, she is staying with someone else for a few days, and I will do the same etc until I find a place. It's thursday night. The past few days I have been feeling down but not desperate, basically because she has been here when I get home, and we have still been close, cried together. But tonight I arrived to an empty house. I was truly terrified with how down I felt. So I wrote some stuff, then got on the net and found this site, and now I am writing this post.

But feel like I need to take greater steps. I am not living in my home country so I don't have any old friends, but the friends I have made I consider reliable, sincere, and honest people. My family is obviously not close by too. I know that it is very early for me to say I have the illness known as depression, and it may be that the depressed feelings I have are just that - feelings of depression during an ending of a relationship that will go away after a period of time. But as I said, it was terrifying what I felt tonight, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, let alone myself! That's why I want to connect to this community, share my experience and how it pans out.

Tomorrow I am meeting a friend of mine and I want to ask him if he can recommend a therapist. I don't feel very confident about this though. First, I am not a rich man so I can't afford to pay out in a regular fashion for this. Second, I've never gone to a therapist before - although I have gone through previous episodes that I thought were depression. So just putting it out there - am I too early on this, or should I jump right in? Trying to remain healthy otherwise is proving a little difficult, especially as I just caught strep throat (ugh)

Thanks and take care.

be.loved.
Posted 4/18/2008 3:23 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Be.loved.,

One thing that stress can do is deplete your immune system and you can catch viruses really easy. Also other health matters can occur. Like high blood pressure or elevated blood sugars etc. So that could be the reason that you caught strep as easy as you did.

Oh yes, I forgot... Welcome to Healing Well depression forum. As you have noted, there are a wonderful group of kind and compassionate members here. And we are glad that you popped in. We hope that you continue to feel comfortable here and keep posting.

If you feel the need to talk to somebody to help you get through this episode in your life, then I think you should. You could very well have some depression going on, and from what I gather from your post, you have had some feelings of depression before. So yes, see a therapist. There are many options in various places that will help you pay for counseling. Sometimes it is hard to find, I will see what I can do to help you get started.

I am happy that you feel comfortable here, and I hope that you continue to post. There will also be other members coming along and offering advice. So you have come to a good place.

Try to relax, You are never really alone in this world, though I know sometimes it feels that way. Now you have us.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 4/18/2008 9:19 AM (GMT 0)

Hi there and Welcome to HealingWell!

I wont dwell too much on telling you how great we are here since Karen has got there before me! lol

I think you are jumping the gun a little by assuming this is depression but I think treating it as though it could be is a good idea. If you have depressive feelings and/or stress, its best to get help sooner rather than later. The longer you leave it, the harder it is to resolve, irrespective of whether it is depression or depressive feelings. I think seeing a therapist would be a good idea. I hope that you manage to get a place of your own very soon so that you can make a new start.

Darren

Posted 4/18/2008 11:22 AM (GMT 0)

Hi there be.loved

Sounds like you are going thru a rough patch in your life..nothing worse than a broken heart..but you know what - it actually sounds to me like you are gonna get over all this in time..you have made a start by reaching out to us here at HW and you are reaching out to friends too.. It takes bravery to do this :-)

When one door shuts in our lives, another opens - and in time you will be able to start afresh in your life, knowing that you can love and be loved by others...lucky you!

Take little steps...don't expect too much from yourself for a little while - try and seek out little things in life that make you smile and happy.

Best wishes to you. Keep us posted with you progress.

Maree

Posted 4/18/2008 11:26 AM (GMT 0)
Hi beloved

I too wanted to welcome you to the forum. We are very glad that you are here.

So sorry for what you are going through,it is very hard to break up and make so many changes in your life.

I think that going to a therapist is a good thing,but as Darren said this may not be depression,it could just be stress and who wouldn't have that much stress with what you have been going through.

Take things one day at a time,and please use this site to vent,we will try to be here for you as much as we can.
Posted 4/18/2008 1:58 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for the welcome. I think major stress is a big factor for me. I will try to relax as best as possible. Keep you posted.

Thank you again!

be.
Posted 4/21/2008 11:39 AM (GMT 0)
Please keep us updated and stay strong!
Posted 4/22/2008 2:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hello all,
well in the weekend I met with a few of my friends and we talked things out which did a world of good for me. Really gave my problems some perspective. I have decided to hold off on finding a therapist at this stage. I'm still under huge stress though because the prospective landlady is proving impossible to track down (she is over 80 and has no voice mail, no email, and has not yet picked up the phone when I call). I am leaving the country in 2 months regardless, so I'm thinking that if this place doesn't work out, and because finding a place for that short time in the city I live in is extremely difficult, that I will leave earlier than planned. Probably early May. That's what my parent's are suggesting, but I dunno, maybe it's just pride but with only this short time left I really want to stick it out and enjoy my time here as much as I can while I can.

be.loved.
Posted 4/22/2008 3:50 PM (GMT 0)
I am happy that you were able to talk to your friends. I am sad that you are leaving the country, but I can imagine that you are anxious to get back home. Hopefully in a new atmosphere, you will start to feel better. So I understand why you would want to go.

I hope that you are able to find enjoyable things to do while you are still here. Maybe see some sights or something.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 4/22/2008 4:08 PM (GMT 0)

be.loved.

First of all thank you for the wonderful comments about HealingWell. I have found the support, validation and encouragement that I receive here, to be so helpful and healing. I hope and trust that will be your experience as a member of the HW family.

I am so sorry you are going through this break up and being in a foreign country where you have little emotional support has to be very difficult.

I am glad to hear you are moving back home in 2 months so we will all be here to support you and get you back home.

I also agree with Darren, you may not have depression but the break up in your life and the fear of the unknown is really pushing you down.  Please do see a therapist if you feel that will help.  Always follow your best instincts.

When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, the first thing you can do is to divide the task into a series of smaller steps. Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

Sounds like you have taken some steps already as you have moved out but now to find a place for 2 months.  I believe in you and that you will be able to work this out.

As you make plans to leave the country remember to make your steps small but keep on moving ahead.

I am happy you found this great forum, keep posting.

God Bless
Kitt

Posted 4/22/2008 5:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hi BL,
I feel for you buddy and i know this is rough time on you.Stay strong and hope God shows you right and healing path.Keep us posted .I love this forum too.Everyone here is so wonderful!!
You will be in our prayers!!

Hugs,
yana
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