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Posted 5/19/2008 9:07 PM (GMT 0)
I was looking through a box of stuff I found in a back room and found an old picture of my dad.   Why after all this time do I still let a picture of him send me into a black hole.  He is dead he can't hurt me anymore.   I just don't understand why i can't get over it.  It brought back a depression that hadn't been with me in quite a while.

Star

Posted 5/19/2008 10:46 PM (GMT 0)
Im sorry that its come back around to you... your dad must not have been a very good one.... I'm kind of like you... a month ago, i found a whole bunch of pictures of my grandparents, now deceased. It brought on a giant wave of sadness... i guess my sadness is a bit different, but there was a song that i heard over the radio (sadly i don't know that title, otherwise I'd really like to get it) and the lyrics went like "Funny how a photograph can take you back in time to place and embraces that you thought you left behind" When i heard that song, i actually curst out crying... i think something about pictures just brings back the mempries that were happening during the time that if was taken. Hope you feel better and i hope i helped if only a little bit

Froggy
Posted 5/19/2008 11:28 PM (GMT 0)
HI Star,

I think that this could possibly go away and isn't permanent. Seeing photos like that can trigger a lot of feelings. Think about them, deal with them and then try your best to go on. If this dark cloud insists on staying I would talk to the doctor about it. Are you in counseling? Your counselor could help you with this also. In the mean time, keep posting and we will help you as much as we can.

Luv and hugs, Karen
Posted 5/19/2008 11:52 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Star, My grandmother passed away this last March.  In cleaning and packing up her house my mother and I found many photo albums that she had labled to which grandchildren she wanted them to go to.  In mine she had written a letter (I didnt get to see as my mom took it) saying that she hoped one day I would be able to look at some of the photos of my stepfather she put in there as he and that time was a part of my past.  There were two albums my mom took all the photos of him out of but there was one she missed.

When I opened this up and saw the picture of the man who tormented me for 11 years I had a full blown panic attack.  Looking at the picture perfect family smiling it was bizzare how normal we looked (my little brother and I) considering all the nasty secrets we had to keep.

I know a picture can't hurt me and yeah I even feel a bit foolish that I had that reaction but, it is my past and I have had to come to terms with it as best I can and go on.  I sure dont have to have pictures around to remind me of someone who caused me so much pain. 

I hope your able to find a way to live peacefully with your past. 

Posted 5/20/2008 11:29 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Star,

My grandad passed away 3 (nearly 4) years ago and even though I have dealt with that in my own way, I look at a picture of him occasionally (usually when I come across a picture by surprise) and I get a feeling of depression. A yearning to go back in time to the time of the picture. But it is temporary... at most it lasts a couple of days. I guess this is whats happening to you at the moment. As others have said, pictures can stir up a mixture of emotions in people who have passed.

Darren

Posted 5/20/2008 11:45 AM (GMT 0)
Star
We can't do anything about bad memories. I too have that problem and have decided that I really need to find ways to not let them overcome by life. Sometimes it is very hard.

You have come a long way,and you are right,he can't hurt you anymore.
Just remember that you are not that person that he could hurt.

it is hard because we seem to remember the bad memories more than the good ones, but try to get your mind off of that and try to remember good things that happened when you were younger.
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