Everything just seems to be falling out of control

Hey all,


haven't posted here in a while. I thought I had gotten over depression once again, but it was only a sad hope. I was feeling on the top of the world. But then i came crashing down and hit hard. I feel like i have no one to talk to. It odd... before... i was always down and i wouldnt have a real reason... but now... it seems like its all centered around my mom... she doesnt seem to understand that what she says to me, makes me feel so much more worse... what she says i guess wouldnt be so bad to someone who is not depressed, but to me, it hits me hard right in the gut. She just start talking to me out of the blue and point out all of my mistakes and what i dont do right... and shed make me feel like all of it was myfault... it just might be, but it really hurts inside to know that my mom seemingly hates me. Ive always thought of talking to her to tell her all of this stuff, but i know that either she wouldnt let me finish and start her little tangent on me, or id get choked up and not even be able to say anything and then id look like an idiot, wanting to tell her something, but cant... Right now, i feel like i have no one who cares and wants to listen to me. (here being colorado in my life) Everything just seems to be falling out of control, bits of my life falling to the abyss and i can only watch and try to make it through the day. Like ive said many times in my previous posts, I dont know what to do anymore... i feel like i want to just give up and let everything slip, but i know that that'll just make everything worse and i proabably wont get anywhere. I'm lost...



Froggy

Hi Froggy,

Something has jumped into my head and im going to throw it out to you... have you been questioned/assessed for Bi-Polar Disorder? From the way you post, it sounds like your mood goes up and down like a yoyo and when your in a good mood, your in a great mood and when your in a low mood, your in a really low mood. Might be something to consider.

Back to the problem in hand... sounds like a communication problem to me. Are you able to sit down with your mum and have an adult conversation about this? To a certain extent I agree with your mum since I dont think that sugar coating everything for people is a good think because it gives them a false perspective but there is a time and a place for honesty and tactfulness is always a good skill to learn. Could you talk to your mum about this?

Darren

Hey !!!!

Turn that frown upside down!

I'll pray for you!

Things WILL get better!!

You'll see

Hey Froggy,

Its nothing to be embrrased about... communication seems to be a dying art-form these days. There are loads of people who cant do it or feel uncomfortable doing it. The good thing is that you are prepared to try and learn... and the only real way to do that is to practice.

Before you start the conversation, you need to pick a good time and have a list of things you want to discuss. Starting this after your mum has had a row on the phone to the gas board is not a smart move! If it helps you remember, write down the things you want to talk about. I would start the conversation by saying something like "Mum, I need to have a conversation with you but I need it to be honest and not end in a row..." If you get upset, its OK to cry. Its not a sign of weakness, just an expression of emotion. As for a productive pace, that is largely dependent on you. If it fels comfortable to you then its probably right. Long drawn out silences are not good. If you get big gaps in speech, change the subject... it probably means that youv'e reached the end of the conversation on that topic unless you have something specific you want to address. Its always nice to end the conversation with a thank-you and a hug. After all, you have both helped each other and its nice to show your gratitude and also to show that you dont hate her for being honest and saying something that upset you.

All the best

Darren

Hey Froggy....
Things lookin up at all?
I'm still prayin for ya.

If you ever need sumptin... I'll listen.

somehow I feel for the little amphibian.

Someetimes ma's can be hard to talk to,, with mine its easy to get riled..
no need thou... like water off a ducks back eh...
The silent strength within!

Things will ge better..
you'll see