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Posted 6/13/2008 5:34 AM (GMT 0)
i am a teenager struggling with depression.
When i was about 4, a cousin of mine molested me. I didn't know
what he was doing but i knew that i didn't like it. But i was too scared
to tell anyone, but i wanted to so bad. Then when i turned 7, my father
started hitting me. , i started
to hurt myself. I did it because, for me, it took away the emotional pain
that i was going through. then i met a nice guy and he became my boyfriend
and after that i only hurt myself once and i haven't ever since... but i have
never told anyone Any of this and i have been keeping it bottled up inside.
Now me and my boyfriend fight Everyday, and i get pretty violent and i
get easily hurt, sad, mad, frustrated and irritated. I feel lost because i feel
like i cant trust him because of my past. I am also starting to think thoughts
such as... But Im NOT dangerous.. I made a promise i would never
do that.. but the thoughts are still in my head. I just want to live a happy
life.
Can you please help me?


Kate,I am sorry,but I had to edit your posts due to the rules of our forum,we are here to help you..but please review the rules asap.


www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=46&m=106997

Post Edited By Moderator (ShynSassy) : 6/13/2008 5:30:45 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 6/13/2008 6:41 AM (GMT 0)
Kate,

I am truly to hear about your past and how you are feeling now. When I thought (WRONG) how everyone would be better off without me I struggled with what I should do next.

What helped me tremendously was writing down the people I may hurt by doing the unthinkable, as there is no tomorrow to rectify the hurt.

You are as needed and special as everyone else, start writing down your experiences in life good and bad. Get them out of your head and on to paper.

Take good care of yourself and always remember the world is a better place WITH YOU.

Good luck, stay well Stuart

Posted 6/13/2008 7:40 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Kate,

I can really relate to what you are feeling, I've had things happen to me in the past which are impacting on my current relationship - I have a lot of trust issues aswell, It's hard, have you tried talking to a counsellor?  I'm doing that now, it's a slow process but hopefully it is starting to work for me! Have you talked to your boyfried about how your feeling and about what has happened in the past, it is important that he know the reasoning behind some of your behaviours!

Posted 6/13/2008 9:05 AM (GMT 0)
Hello,

I am new to this forum, and I hope I can help in some capacity. Having experienced depression and uncertain of my future, I know that you feel hopeless. YOU ARE NOT. Always tell yourself what is happening to you is not your fault. However, sadly, it is not that easy. Please discuss your situation, never struggle alone, help is often closer than you think.

Look after yourself, and always remember the world is a better with you in it.

Sincerely, Stuart author: Beyond my Control
Posted 6/13/2008 11:35 AM (GMT 0)
Kate

Welcome to the forum,we are very glad that you found us.

I am so sorry that you have had to go through all of that..none of it is your fault..I know that you are hurting and feel that you will never be happy again,but you will.

You need to talk to someone, can you go to your mom? Another family member?
After all that you went through,getting professional help is very much needed.
If you talk to your mom,then try to get into a doctor,here is some info for you... and please let us know how you are doing.
Posted 6/13/2008 11:36 AM (GMT 0)
Kate

Here are the links:

suicidal.com/suicidalteens/

www.selfinjury.com/index.html
Posted 6/13/2008 2:30 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Kate,
Honey, these things that have happened to you are not your fault. And I think you should talk to someone about it. It's obviously really bothering you. Reach out to someone you trust. Maybe you should talk to a therapist. You need to talk about is to get it out of your system. I'm not saying it will all go away if you talk about it. But it will help. I have been through a very similar situation. And I too had terrible anxiety over it and hurt myself often. But there is hope! And you are a very special, very wonderful person! There is help out there for you. Keep posting. I have found so much support here. If you want to talk I'm usually home you can email me or something. Keep your head up girl. You'll be happy again! LOVE AND HUGS!!!!!
Posted 6/13/2008 4:15 PM (GMT 0)

Hello Kate,

I am Kitt and I have depression and anxiety, 26 years now.  I am living proof that you can have a good life and get through the bad times.  I would also encourage you to seek therapy.  If you have a physician start there and make an appointment for a medical screening exam to be sure you do not have a physical problem for some of your symptoms.  Tell your Dr. all of the truth and ask for help hun,  he/she is a great resource.

I am going to post a few numbers for you.  Shy gave you excellent links so please take a look and know we all care for you.

USA Hotline Numbers

The US Suicide Hotline 1-800-784-2433

NDMDA Depression Hotline | Support Group. 800-826-3632

Suicide Prevention Services Crisis Hotline 800-784-2433

Suicide Prevention Services Depression Hotline 630-482-9696

Crisis Help Line | For Any Kind of Crisis 800-233-4357

Domestic & Teen Dating Violence  800-992-2600

Suicide & Depression Hotline | Covenant House 800-999-9999

These are just FYI for you  to copy and keep handy.  :)

Keep posting as we are here 24/7

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


Posted 6/14/2008 1:39 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you ALL SO MUCH for your help...

It's SO nice to actually See people who care and it feels really good also.

I'm really glad i found this site, because it's just another step further into a better life

and it's really nice to be able to have people to come to WHENEVER i need to vent my

feelings... I cant Thank you enough. Your advice just means everything in the world to

me.

Always,

Kate

Posted 6/14/2008 11:48 AM (GMT 0)
Kate
We are very glad that you are here,and glad that you were able to reach out.

Use this site whenever you need us,and take care of yourself.
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