sad about my life

I just got back from the mall with my mom, sister and my friend. Shopping is supposed to be fun right? Well today it wasn't for me. I went from 152 lbs to 144 lbs in 4 months. I'm 5 ft 4.5 inches. I have a normal BMI. I was happy because I went from a size 10 to an 8. Today I tried on some jeans and the 8 fit but was a little tight. My mom and sister said it looked tight. My friend said it looked ok. So I got the 10. After we left the store and my sister, mom and friend browsed some more.. I just burst out crying. I couldn't help it. I had all these negative thoughts running in my head. "I'm fat, I'm huge, I'm ugly." My friend who is taller than me 5 ft 7 inches is 168 lbs and wears the same size as me! I was just so angry that we wear the same size and she weighs more. I felt huge. I wanted to leave the mall right then and there but my mom said no. Then during the car ride home my mom said "thanks for embarassing me in front of your friend!" She also said that she's never going shopping with me and my friend ever again because I just embarass her and that I'm not fun to be around. And my dad said "we've been trying to get you to eat less sometimes but you never listen to us." It made me feel worse. My mom told me I'm not a fun person to be around and that I'll never be like a model. Lots of guys think I'm pretty but I don't feel good about myself. It doesn't help when I hear comments like that from my parents. I seriously am thinking of just eating half a meal each day. I just want to look better in outfits and have my parents be proud of how I look. I feel so empty and worthless inside. I'm scared to eat in front of my parents. They are eating dinner now as we speak and I just don't feel like eating. :-( Please help.

Post Edited (confusedgirl22) : 7/14/2008 5:47:56 PM (GMT-6)

Hi Confused, I think Karen is right about eating fruits and veggies to help with your diet.  They are good for you and fill you up a lot.  Melon is very good, it is filling and has very few calories.  As someone who has lost weight in the past 6 months I know it is not easy to do.  There are many books you could read on healthy eating and there are online diet programs.  Also, not mentioning any one specific group, there are many dieting groups where you can go to a weekly meeting and have a once a week weigh in to help you stay on track.  Loads of info on the iternet.  Your parents are not helping you by commenting.  Try to ignore them.  They should be helping to raise your self esteem.  I imagine you are a very pretty girl but you need to think of yourself in a more positive way.  Don't compare yourself to a friend who is taller and weighs more.  Her weight is most likely in proportion to her height.  If you are serious about losing some weight cutting yourself to half a meal a day won't work.  You will end up being so hungry you will binge.  Arm yourself with good info on eating healthy and getting some exercise every day.  It doesn't have to be too strenuous and joining a gym is not necessary.  A good 30 min walk is excellent exercise and it will help improve your mood.  Exercise raises the endorphins in your brain so you feel better. And once you establish the habit you will really enjoy it.  It took me 6 mos. to lose 35 lbs and I did it the slow way a lb or 2 a week and I have kept the weight off.  You are a good person and I don't want you to let negative people stand in your way and make you feel bad.  Keep posting - I have confidence in you that you can do whatever you want.  Take care.

Aurora

thanks. but i have been working out 4 days a week for about an hour to an hour and a half each day. i dont eat fast food anymore and i try to eat more fruits and vegetables. i lost 8 lbs since march but I haven't moved below 144. my thighs are big. my butt is always wide.

I go on the elliptical 4 days a week for about 40 minutes. Then after I do elliptical I lift dumbells to do biceps and tricep exercises. I then do situps and lunges and wall squats. My thighs have gotten firmer compare to March but they are still big. Also my butt is wide. And yes. Their comments make me feel bad about myself.

Hi again, Confused, do me a favor and try the walking for two weeks and see what it does for you. Not just a going out for a walk but a power walk. Keep an even pace and try to go for 30-45 min. You may have to work up to it. I am unable to use weights or lift anything because I had breast cancer so walking has turned out to be the best exercise for me. And you would be surprised at how it has helped me drop the lbs. Also. I am sure I am much older than you and at my age it is not as easy to lose weight but I did. I really wanted to get back to normal so I just kept at it. You may slip up sometimes. That is OK. Just get back on the bandwagon the next day. Karen it right that diet soda is not good for you so try to stay away from it. If you like tea you can have either hot tea or make yourself iced tea and put some lemon in it. A piece of fruit is also better for you than juice which is loaded with sugar. These are just a few hints. You seem like such an intelligent and sweet person. I truly hope I can help you to feel better. You are worth it.
Aurora

Hey,

We are all individuals and unique in our own special way, be youself and you are on your way to truly becoming happy.....with who you are.

I suffered from anorexia nervosa from trying to become the type of person who would easily fit in. Didn't help at all, I could have died from trying to hard to become thin.

Don't be sad, it's not worth your effort, be happy with who you are.....you deserve a break!

Stuart (author) Beyond my Control.............IT WAS!!!

I'm sorry to here that Confusedli. I'm sorry you have had eating disorders. I hope you get better soon and do gain weight!
I just feel guilty when I eat. Ever since yesterday, I haven't been eating as much. After I do eat I blame myself for eating. I just feel fat. I have cellulite. I do lunges and squats but that doesn't help. In high school I was 124 lbs. Now I'm 144. My parents want me to be back to 124 and a size 4. It's so hard to lose that weight. I've been exercising and watching what I eat. I seriously just feel like eating one meal a day because nothing else works. And I feel ugly wearing a size 8 and 10. :-( My mom keeps telling me how I embarassed her yesterday :-( She says that I don't look good in skirts above the knee. I used to wear skirts above the knee even last yr when I weighed 146 and my ex-bf always complimented me on how I looked. I am so sad here at home. I feel trapped. I just don't want to be around my family at all. Every single day my mom rehashes all the mistakes I've made in my life. Today she said "Why can't you be like all the other grad students who pass all their classes?" "Aren't you going exercising today, what did you eat for lunch?" I CANNOT take this anymore! :-( Please help.

Post Edited (confusedgirl22) : 7/15/2008 3:48:18 PM (GMT-6)

 You are still leasing other people words that hurt you. I know you most likely feel like they are ganging up on you. What types of foods do you eat? Why don't you have some fresh and juicy fruits?

___________

alizia

http://www.addictionrecovery.net/louisiana

Hi Aliza. I do eat fruits. I also eat small portions. For breakfast I eat cereal, yogurt, or a fiber one bar Usually small sandwich or salad for lunch. For dinner I eat some kind of meat (usually chicken) with either vegetables or rice. Sometimes I eat bigger portions when I'm stressed out about something or when I'm sad though. I'm trying to not eat much when I get stressed out.

Karen, I just got your e-mail. Thank you so much for your opinion. It really means alot to me. You are a good person too! Take care!

Hello everyone.

  Just wanted to update you about what's going on. I'm leaving for FL with my mom tomorrow morning for grad school. My mom is going to be staying with me for a week til I get settled in. I'm excited for a new beginning but also nervous I'll fail a class again.

My ex and I are talking again. We've been talking for about a month now. He wants me to visit him sometime soon but I can't afford it. I'm on loans. I paid for his plane ticket to come see me in grad school last yr. He paid for my dinners, clothes and drinks. I think it's his turn to pay for a plane ticket if he wants to see me. So I told him I can't afford it. He said he couldn't either. I said well I guess I can't see you til you can afford it. Then he didn't say anything. A few days later I texted him asking him if he can accept my friend request on facebook. We're friends but he still hasn't accepted my friend request on facebook. I know he doesn't have internet at home but he goes online at work and he does check facebook. He didn't respond after I texted him.. I waited awhile about 1 hr..he didn't respond. I texted him again asking him if he can accept my friend request..no answer. Then I called him 30 min later..no answer. He finally responded saying that "I'm back to my old self again and he might accept my friend request sometime." He also said he wants me to backoff for awhile and not talk to him for a few days. This happened on Wednesday night. I started crying. I left him alone til Fri night I texted him once asking him if we could talk tomorrow night (meaning tonight) ..no response. This morning (Saturday) I texted him asking if we could talk tonight..no answer. An hr later I asked again..no answer.. 2 hrs later I asked if we could talk tonight or if he wanted more space. He finally answered and said he'll be ready to talk some time mid next week. And that if I text him between today and then he'll block me. So I didn't text him. He's done this so many times before. This whole month he didn't mind talking to me everyday. Now all of a sudden he's like bothered by talking every day. My counselor thinks it's a control tactic he's using because I didn't give in to his request for me to pay the plane ticket. He thinks I should put the ball in his court and not contact him mid next week (eventhough he'll be ready to talk then). What should I do? None of my other friends put limits on me. But then again, I don't text them again if they don't respond to me. Advice please!

Post Edited (confusedgirl22) : 7/26/2008 6:45:36 PM (GMT-6)

Dear Confused,

Please remember you are a wonderful person and you deserve happiness.  Don't selttle for 2nd best when there is some out there you will meet and you will know how great you are togehter. You won't have to worry about emails and the instablity of the relationship.

Be happy in Florida.........and catch a wave for me.  I am land locked here in the midwest.

Hugs

Kitt

Confusedgirl,

I think you should definitely not text this guy. I even think you should cut him out of your life all together - although maybe that would be hard. Its sounds to me like he wants to be your friend, but only on his terms, and that isn't a friendship. You deserve so much better than he is treating you. Its hard to cut someone you have loved out of your life, but its worth it in the long term, because dragging this relationship out is only going to cause more pain, and I think it is impossible to stay friends with someone you have loved.

Its really exciting that you are going to Florida. Don't worry about failing a class, I'm sure you won't, and if you do, deal with it when the time comes, because it might never happen!

Li

Confusedgirl,

I hope we have not confused you more. :) We are just concerned that you will get hurt again by the same person.

Remember you are wonderful the way you are............believe in yourself and know you are special.

Hugs

Kitt