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won't give me anti-depressents

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Posted 9/4/2008 7:43 AM (GMT 0)
Hello, I am new here and well its sort of hard for me to express myself fully becuase I can't use 'offensive language' but I will try my best.

I have had depression (well extreme) for about 3 years now, I am now 16.

I'll go into my background later but right now I just feel terrible. I have anxiety and I just can't face what I am going through today.

You see today I am doing an induction at my sixth form and I am so nerovus and upset. I am not really sure if doing this was the right thing. I mean am I really ready for this???

But if I don't do it everyone will be like oh that so like her! I just can't take this, someone please help me, it is destorying me to much!

I have gone to a pru and I really miss it! But now its time to grow up and I'm not sure.

My psycholgist is stupid and won't give me anti-depressents and I'm not sure what to do.

I do want to go back to my really depressing state where I didn't go out at all.

I just need someone who is on my side and is ready to listen, please could you help me
Posted 9/4/2008 8:47 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Nekodiruai,

I think your going through a time of big changes in your life, I think we all do at your age - there are a lot of choices to be made, You just have to ride it out I guess.

As to being ready for it - only you know that - tho sixth form isn't too different from school, go to the induction - give it a go, see what you think and then make the choices. It might be just what you need so try not to write it off yet.
Posted 9/4/2008 8:49 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Nekodiruai,

Welcome!
There are lots of wonderful individuals here on HW that are willing to help you the best they can. As one of the youngster on HW (I am 18), I think I know what you are going through, since I had similar feelings as the ones you describe.

For know, I think it will be good if you write down what you want to write. If it is too offensive to post here, there is an email adress located in my profile, or you could send a private message (to me, or to whoever you want). If you want a chat sessions, either here on the built-in chat or through some sort of IM, just tell.

For now, maybe you could try to focus on the physical symptoms that come with the anxiety and sadness. I always felt pressure on the chest, and a choking sensations in my throat. Being aware of this helped me to get my mind of the thinking, which made me feel a bit better.

And please do what feels best for you. If you don't want to go, don't go. You might even make up some innocent lie, like being sick (which isn't a lie to me, I consider depression as an illness), to give others an easier explanation for your absence. But believe me, going when you don't want to go will only make things worse.

I wish you all the best, and please don't hesitate to contact me or anyone else if you want to!
Erik
Posted 9/4/2008 3:43 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Nekodiruai,

I would takes Eriks advice and go ahead and email him or anyone, so you can be explcit in how you want to write , if thats what gets it off your chest the best.

When i was your age(i am 39 now) I was in an alternative school, which really worked out best for me, my grade average went way up. and i got a job, less time for depression, but it was still there, I just had ways of hiding it, and still do.

I have to admit anti depressants to help me, but im alot older, it may have backfired on me if i took them when i was younger, plus I dont even think they had the same class of antis then as the do know, so probably better of i was on none. Both my children are bipolar, and the youngest has mild autism, which more and more is seeming like tourettes syndrome then autisms, she many tics and the language to go with it. She suffered from depression as well and is on an anti depressant, and has been for 5 years and she is only 9. But they helped her, as long as she has a mood stablizer to go with so she wont go manic.  I am thinking your therapist may be thinking that an anti may cause unwanted side effects, and it may , but you wont know unless you try. My son who is almost 14 absolutley cannot have antis, he goes manic, no antis for him period, but i tryed.

Is there a chance to change therapists?

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing. And please email Erik or anyone, mine listed in my profile too.

Out of ignornce or me being to old please someone explain Six form??? What is that and how is different them reg school? Sorry for asking I just dont know....

Posted 9/4/2008 4:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Nekodiruai,

I am a moderator, so I wanted to let you know that you can always email me at any time too. Erik is probably much closer to your age though and will understand what you are going through. Just wanted to let you know that we are here for you.

I am sorry that you can't take any anti depressants right now. I guess maybe you could change therapists like Sheryl said. That might help. But if you are on a good level with your psychologist as far as talking goes, you might want to stick that out. Sometimes we don't get the same effects from other pshychs.

I guess what I am trying to say is that you do have options at this point. If you aren't getting anywhere with the psych that you are seeing, you have that option to change.

I hope that this has helped you some. As I said feel free to email one of us. That is if you can't say what you would lilke to on the forum, or just for the discussion. Erik is very intelligent and very understanding. I think that he would be your best option right now. But all of us are here for you.

Take care and have a wondrerful day.

Hugs, ...Karen
Posted 9/4/2008 4:17 PM (GMT 0)
6th form is like when u leave school at 16, thats where you go until your 18, to study for A levels or something similar, its like the step between high school and university - at least thats what it is here in England!
Posted 9/4/2008 4:23 PM (GMT 0)

Thanks Confusedli, I was having no idea what it meant.

Nekodiruai,

If you are not ready I would discuss with someone, maybe there is another alternative?

Anyway we are here for you, so keep on posting or emailing...

Posted 9/4/2008 4:32 PM (GMT 0)

nekodiruai

Welcome to HealingWell and I am sorry you are in a bad place right now but perhaps we can all help you.  I would take Erik up on contacting him through his email.  He is a wonderful young man and is 18 so he can identify with what you heading into.

Do go to the induction, just put one foot in front of the other and stay in the moment. Don't start with the "what ifs"  Don't anticipate that it will be bad and you will panic.

We can learn to value ourselves in spite of feeling anxious. You need to believe in you and to build on your self confidence. Remember no one is perfect and the world is a better place because you live and serve within it.

Please know we care and my email is open too. 

I wish you peace and happiness.

Kitt


 

Posted 9/7/2008 8:07 AM (GMT 0)

Thank you to everyone and all your support, I really am truly thankful.

Yes I will chat more to you (Erik more because of the age) and everyone, if I am having a really hard time.

Thank you for all of your advice and I will try my best! I still feel worried becuase my first day is tomorrow, but I will keep all your words in my mind.

Thanks!! :-)

Posted 9/7/2008 12:09 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Nekodiruai,

Feel free to say what you have to say. If you think it is too offensive, just send it in a private message, or through email (you can find both of them in my profile). Or if you want, we can schedule a chat in the chatroom on this site.

And for tomorrow, I really hope you are able to go, but don't feel bad when you just don't feel like going. Blaming yourself and the extra stress this brings is not something you need right now.

And take my word when I say that writing and sharing your thoughts and problems can be a great help! It will get you one step closer to the things that causes your sadness and anxiety, and thus one step closer to overcoming them. For me, sadness was just building up over the years, until the point were I collapsed. After that, I said to myself never again, and I start talking to others about this (partly here on HW). At first, I couldn't talk to anyone about my depression, because I thought it was "weak", and people would hate me for that. Now I have more friends than ever, and they all know I was depressed. Now, whenever I feel this urge of sadness coming, I just talk to them, take a walk, or take some time for myself. I don't have to make up all sort of excuses, because they know that I need things like that once in a while.

Take care, and all the best tomorrow!
Erik
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