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Posted 9/23/2008 9:57 AM (GMT 0)
scool  To anyone who is depressed I would like to tell you my story in the hopes that it might help someone out there to get help.I have always been a happy person untal 6 years ago.Then my twin sister died after surgery(She threw a blood clot the day befor she was going to get out of the hospital).I lost my sister my best freind and half of myself.I started drinking and gambling messing up are bills. I got two D.U.I.s in a year and a half. Befor this I had never drank and drove if I had anymore then 2 drinks.I got a little help after the second D.U.I. but I did not want to admeit to myself how lost I was.I would sometimes drink enuff that I would passout or I would go gamble for 16 hours. It got so bad and I hated myself so I hurt mysef. I had more surgerys then I even know. I was in a drug indused coma for two weeks. I was in ICU. for 3 months. I lost half of my small bowel.Broke my hip and the bullit shattered the top part of it.I got 3 different type of infections when I was in the hospital.I had to have a ileostomy for 5 months.After I got out of I.C.U. I had to go to rehab to learn how to walk.Finally I got to come home but just a few weeks after I got out my left lung colapsed had to go back in. in june returned to have my ileostomy reversed.sence then I developed a infection in my back and have to have IV antibiotics for at lest 12 weeks. in6 months I have to go back in to the hospital to fuse 2 vertabry in my spine,get my gallblader out and have my hernias repared. I am dissabeled right now Idont know if I will ever have the stamana to do the types of jobs I did befor.The DR. only gave me a less then 10 percent chance to live but god and my sister the will to make it. I take my anti-depressent meds everyday and give thank to god every day that I am still hear.So please if you know that you are depressed get help,Dont put your famaily what I put mine through. I will pray for all of you mom9mom

 

Edit: I removed the graphic description from your post.  Our rules state:  Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

We have members as young as 13 on the forums.

Thank you for understanding.

Kitt

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 9/23/2008 4:51:53 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/23/2008 1:14 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Mom,

Welcome to the depression forum. I am sorry for what you went through. Especially the loss of your sister. I just lost my nephew to a gunshot to the head. But he succeeded in what he was trying to accomplish. And believe me the family is suffering. I think it is so sad when we get to that point of not wanting to live anymore.

I am happy that you didn't succeed with your quest. You are a very special person and we need you here.

Sometimes these things bring us all closer to gether and I hope in your case that is true. Your family loves you and I am sure that they are happy that your attempt failed. You are suffering with all of these surgeries and complications. But I think it is for a reason. And I think that you have learned from it. All of these things that you got into are common with depression. So don't beat yourself up anymore. Just take it one day at a time and be thankful that you are here still and with your family.

Luv and hugs, Karen
Posted 9/23/2008 6:32 PM (GMT 0)
wow

congragulations on getting well!

Thanks for sharing the hope with us.

My aunt died last christmas while wrapping gifts.. she had a stroke.  She also has a twin who was devestated.  Its so hard to see her sister because they are identical and the one who died was like a mother to me.  I am so sorry about your twin and I know it is

so hard.  Keep doing well just for her.

you are inspiring :)

Posted 9/23/2008 10:57 PM (GMT 0)

mom9mom

Welcome to HealingWell and I am so sorry for your pain but hearing your outlook on your recovery now is extremely inspirational. Thank you for sharing.

I lost a sister on Thanksgiving Day and my only other sister is slowily dying of extensive ovarian can cancer so I have to watch people I love die. I understand how it can overwhelm you completely and you look to anything that will help you .............alcohol, gambling. 

I am very lucky to have a wonderful husband who has supported me through all the bad times.

I hope your surgeries go well and know we will be praying for you.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt 

Posted 9/24/2008 8:21 AM (GMT 0)
blush  Thank you all for praying for me and I will pray for everyone out there that needs a hand. I pray that thay reach out to someone that loves them for the help thay need. I know that it can be hard to beleive that anyone loves you at this point in your life because of the hate you have for your self.But I can tell you that thay do. Some will pull away from you but its not because thay dont care its because it hurts to watch someone you care about destroying them self. I learned how much  more my family cared about me then I did myself. Its hard to beleave that my husband watched all that I did to are family and that he still loves me.He had to take 2 weeks off when I first hurt myself  then when he had to go back to work he would spend all of the rest of his time at the hospital with me.My mom and dad live 200 miles from me but thay put there lives on hold and moved into my house my mom took care of my younger kids ( my kids range from 27 to 5 1/2years old) and my dad would spend all day at the hospital with me (my dad is 71 years old).My oldest daughter would spend the night at the hospital when my husband was working nights (he works shift work).Thay never left me alone.My other two sisters and my brother would spend as much time as thay could with me.My step son would come and lead everyone in prayer for me.My brother in law is the pastor of his church and he would do the samethang and his whole church would pray for me also even though I go to a diffrent church.So please if you are hurting and need help reach out and alow someone to help you befor it gets to the end of your rope.
Posted 9/24/2008 11:47 PM (GMT 0)
HI Mom,

You are so right about reaching out. That is why I love this forum so much. It is a place to come and reach out. You dont really know the other people so it makes it so much easier to speak up when you need to.

Also family and friends really do care about us. I think like you said, you hate yourself so much you can't imagine anybody else loving you. But they do. Some do pull further away so they don't have to watch what we do to ourselves, but they still love us. And I can tell that you are very much loved. So don't forget that, ever. I am happy that you are making a recovery and that you are okay. I am also happy that you posted here.

Remember we all care about you and eachother. So we are here for eachother.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 9/25/2008 9:42 AM (GMT 0)

Mom,

Good Morning and you are right on re reaching out.  Family and friends do not know we need them unless we tell them. It is sometime very hard to ask for help but recognizing we need to is 1/2 the battle.

Bless you
Kitt

Posted 9/26/2008 6:29 PM (GMT 0)
Mom,

I am so sorry to hear your pain. Thanks for responding to me.

I understand how difficult it is, and especially when the pain that you feel causes pain to your family as well.

I will pray for you, I wish you the best.
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