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Posted 9/21/2008 10:45 AM (GMT 0)
Kitt how brave your sister and niece are and how lucky they both are to have you as a sister and an aunt .
Your sister does really sound as though she has a great battle on her hands one that she might not win .I`m sure she is so greatful for every moment you all spend there with her it helps pass the time and knowing she is loved so much is wonderful.
I hope she can find some peace and that her battle isn`t too hard .I think one comes to a point when they know in their heart enough is enough and that does take courage to reach that point .
I pray for you all each night .

Believe me it would of been just so easy not to go and see this dr and i was so tempted not to but i know it was either try this or nothing .I was so stressed out before the appointment i was so sick ,but i went and saw him .I have not told him everything hell i would still be there but the most important was to get some relief from the pain in my face and the fact that i can`t breathe .
He has prescribed some Durogesic patches and some Tramedo tablets to see i f they will help .
i went to the pharamacy to have the scripts made up but left there feeling shocked as to wha ttheses drugs are and what they could do to me .i was not going to take them just too frightened .bbut by the end of the day it was either try these or all of my others in one go i was in just so much pain .
Yesterday weh i woke up i was just so sick having the worst headache i have even had and vomiting with the slightest movement .this is how i spent the whole of yesterday just lying in my bed feeling as though i would be better off dead than this .Today i was a little better still feeling really sick and not venturing out very far .I then fell over this afternoon not sure if i passed out or what happened but now i`m back in bed not wanting to get out again.
The dr prescribed a lot of tests to see if he can find a cause of the breathing thinking of a clot on the lung but the least of my worries atm .am just so tired now think i will head off and see what tomorrow brings.]
Jane
Posted 9/21/2008 12:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jane,

I am praying for you. And I am here for you. I hope that your doctor's appointment goes well. Make sure that you tell everything. Take a list if you have to. That is what I do.

I want to thank you for being here for me the last few days. You don't know how much it meant to me. It kept me sane. And I can't thank you enough.

Remember that we are here for you.

Luv and hugs, Karen
Posted 9/21/2008 12:36 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Karen it`s the least i can do after all the help everyone has given me since i started coming in here .
There are a few things i`m not ready to tell this dr not just yet i know he needs to know everything so he can help me but i just do not want to go there .He was on to me about my mood but to me it`s not the problem i know when i`m down the pain is so much worse as i can`t tollerate it .but i feel ok in that area at the moment .tonight i`m struggeling with a bad head and think i will have to take some of the other pills he gave me he said only to use them if i really have to ,but i`m tired and i need to sleep but my head is throbbing so badly.The pharmacist said they will knock me about a lot so to be careful but seeing i`m in bed i thought i would try one to see how i go i suppose if i`m here tomorrow it would of been ok .
My daughter told me the other day i was ****** after reading the side effects so was pretty scared to even use them .
Well will say goodnight as i can`t sit here infront of this screen any more .
Hope you have a wonderful day over there and that you find a lot of joy and contentment in what ever you do .
Jane
Posted 9/21/2008 3:18 PM (GMT 0)
Hope that you got a good nights sleep Jane. I want to thank you again for all the comfort that you gave to me the other night/day. It kept me from losing it.

I am trying to stay busy as of now, trying not to think too much.

Keep us posted as to how you are doing.

Luv and hugs, Karen
Posted 9/21/2008 5:43 PM (GMT 0)

Jane

Thank you for the kind words and my sister had her second chemo.  She is feeling a bit rocky and sick today.  She is still in the hospital.

Now about your pain versus the side effects,  I know how you feel but you cannot continue to live in such pain.  Hopefully your Doctor will figure out what is going on.  Remember you are the one with the pain so don't let your daughter scare you off from using the meds. 

I am here for you so know I am praying you get relief.  Many hugs for you too.

Hugs

Kitt

Posted 9/22/2008 12:20 AM (GMT 0)
you know when you reach your limit what it feels like well now i know what it`s like to be pushed over .
Posted 9/24/2008 10:47 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jane,

I just wanted to thank you again for being there for me when my nephew died. I don't know what I would of done if you weren't writing to me. You really helped me a lot. Words can barely describe how much it means to me.

Thank you again...

Luv and hugs, Karen
Posted 9/26/2008 2:51 PM (GMT 0)

Good Morning Jane,

Just checking in to see how you are doing.  I am holding up pretty well. I am spending 5 days up at the hospital with my sister and I would like to be home to as hubby has Doctors appointment.

If I need to I will go home but his appointment is this morning so I will wait to see the outcome.

I wish you peace and hope you are taking care of you.

Love,
Kitt

Posted 9/26/2008 3:35 PM (GMT 0)
Just checking in on you too Jane. Is it the week that your daughters gone?

I hope you are getting rest. TAke care..

Posted 10/3/2008 3:11 PM (GMT 0)
Morning everyone it has taken me a while to pull myself together .Have been so sick as a result of the pain meds they are just so strong and the side effect is being sick all the time not sure what is better throwing up everyday or the pain think they come pretty close .
The last time i posted i was just so fed up with everyone and everything after having a major arguement over the daughter and then hubby bought up the animals i care for they have not been a problem until i was confined to bed for a few days and had to rely on someone else to feed and care for them .Well as a result of the arguement the animals are all going .I know i will miss them so much but i`m just not giving them any excuses for me not being a handful .
my bats were released successfully and went off into the wide blue younder probably never tobe seen again .But they are free and thats all that matters.
Little bart and maggie will be taken out to the farm on monday i`m not having anymore not going through all of this again .Well my pet Galah my daughter didn`t shut the door on his cage today and he got out not sure if he willl survive but then i look at it as one less to care for . Half of my fish died last week so am going to give the rest of them away as soon as i have a new home for them .then that it for me .
As for the cancer i`m due to see another surgeon in a few weeks i really don`t care what happens anymore but will make that decision when i hear what he has to say on the matter .
I went to see the new GP here he is ok and was helpful with the pain meds .As for the problems with the breathing he thinks it may be due to a clot on the lung i have to go back all the time to be checked but i`m on the meds still from when i had a DVT in my leg a few years ago so there isn`t much more they can do i certainly do not want to lie around in hospital .
He was on to me about being so down but as i told him i do not want to take any medications for it any more as they are not getting rid of the problems
Today was my daughters (the problem one) she was 20 and the only cooking i have done in ages was to make her a birthday cake but was as far as i was willing to go .I remember back to my birthday no one even remembered it so i thought thats it with birthdays .
Hubby and the youngest are away at a pistol shoot until tuesday so i`m feeling a bit down but am managing .
i told my daughter if she wants a meal cooked she can cook it herself as i`m not cooking at all.
This afternoon once it cooled down a bit ( it was such a hot day ) i planted out eight punnets of flower seedlings so hopefully in a month or so they will look really great.
Karen i hope all went well with the funeral and that it wasn`t to traumatic for you all it`s such a hard thing when someone so young dies like he did but now he is at peace.

Kitt it`s good to hear your sister has picked up so much lets pray that she continues to have a good recovery period and that she is resting comfortably.Great news that your hubbys surgery went really well and he is recovering in leaps and bounds .Now it`s time for you to recover from everything that has ben happening in your life of late time to regenerater and fill the batteries for the next innings.Take care and look after yourself.
I had better end here seeing it`a 1am in the morning and i have to be up by six .My meds are making me really tired now so will settle down for the night .
Jane
Posted 10/3/2008 4:04 PM (GMT 0)
Jane,

It was so nice to hear from you. I am sorry that you are getting rid of your animals, but that will free your time up and not be such a responsibility. Just know what you have done for them was a Godsend and that they are surviving because of your kindness and nurturing. You are a wonderful person and don't you ever forget that.

I don't blame you for not making a big deal out of your daughter's birthday. She would be lucky to get the cake if it was me. You are so sweet and caring, I just wish that she could see that. Maybe in time, but the longer it takes, the guiltier she will feel for treating you badly all this time. But I am sure that she will eventually grow up.

I hope that your plants that you planted come out well. We had a freeze this morning and I fear that we lost all of our tomato plants. John was so upset this morning, the weather forcast said no chance of frost, well we had more than frost, it froze. I think my stuff in the greenhouse is okay though. I sure hope so. But it is getting to be that time of year, so it is to be expected.

I will end here, so wishing for you a lovely day. Hang in there and remember that we are always here for you Jane. You are so special to us.

Take care,
luv and hugs, Karen
Posted 10/3/2008 5:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hi jane, I am sorry you have to let your animals go. Im sorry you have been feeling so bad. Is there a med they can give you with the othermeds like phenergan to help with the naseau and vomiting?

You are very nice to have made a cake for your daughters Birthday, like KAren said i dont even think i would have done that much.  I am sorry she seems to cause you so much strife.  She is lucky to have you. Ia you got hoping you got some rest this evening. Take care and try and hold on..

Posted 10/3/2008 10:00 PM (GMT 0)

Dear Jane,

I am so happy to hear from you but so sad to hear you had to let your animals go.  How selfish your family is for not caring for them for you.  I am so very sorry this is how they react when they know how much the animals meant to you.  If I was down there I would give them all a tongue lashing and they would know they had been told too. mad

You my dear friend deserve so much more then this seclusion you have been put into.  You desrve people around you who would smother you with love and caring.  WE can only give that to you here but I know it is not the same as having a loving family.

My sister developed the pulmonary blood clot and her breathing was bad.  But she is on a blood thinner now and so far no more clots.

I understand how you are feeling about the trip to the cancer doctor.  I think perhaps your meds for pain may be bringing you down too as you said it is hard to feel good when your sick every day.

I do not know how you do it but I am glad you do get up and face each day. You planted flowers..........kudos to you.  I am sure they will be beautiful.

Take advantage of being home alone and do some things you always want to do......................do you have a house dog?  My dog is my salvation on a bad day.................She will nap with me and just feeling her warm body next to me on the bed reminds me she loves me unconditionally.  She is my best friend and never tells anyone the secrets we share. turn

I am coping well and I thank you for caring.  I have pretty much been house bound all week because I am afraid I may miss a call from the hospital.

Love to you and lots of hugs

Kitt

Posted 10/4/2008 11:54 AM (GMT 0)
thank you to all .without you being there i`m pretty sure i would not be here .One day my family will realise just what they have done to me but i dare say it will be too late by then to make a mends.All i ever wanted in life was to have a loving hubby i could care for and grow old with and to share in his love ,to have my children grow into responsible adultts and to respect and love us .oh how wrong were my dreams.life for me has turned into one hell hole .Kitt i really do not know why i even face it over the same each day maybe the hope that things might just change someday i have no idea .how easy it would be just to give up and not go on .
today all i have done is clean up after this one daughter its only me and her at home and i`m so tired of picking up the mess i continue to do it otherwise my only other choice is to live in the fiflth she lives in and i just can`t do that i`m not going to go down to her level.This afternoon she asked me to drive her to work after all she did all day was to sit and watch tv my reply was WALK because i`m going to lie down as i felt so ill afer cleaning up the yard all day .After a few choice words she slammed the door shut and walked to work .As for my lie down it had to wait i still had the washing to do and then vacumme the house out .So now i`m lying in bed not far from sleep just too tired to take another step .Lets see what tomorrow brings so far i have some ironing to do and then ring the lady who is going to take my little joeys to tell her i`m bringing them out on monday .
Will see if i can find a few more flowers to plant but not sure any shops will be opened tomorrow being sunday .
Kitt your sister has her battle cut out for her but atleast the drs are keeping on top of it i do hope she is feeling a bit better as the days pass by.
I do not have a house dog but there are three large yard dugs which keep me on my toes but until monday i sneak a joey out of their pouch and have a good cuddle of them they just love it too ,i sure am going to miss them.

sheryl the da has given me maxalon for the nasuea so far i`m feeling ok but its only short term effect wear off in an hour or so but it`s ok will see him again on wednesday for another meds adjustment .

Karen such a bummer with the plants all freezing thank goodness we do not get that cold here in the winter but our summers as really shocking just so hot that everything shrivells up we loose a lot of plants along with the animals as there is only so much one can do .during the hottest part i can`t go outside as the heat makes it justso hard to breathe i stay inside most of the time with the airconditioner turned on.
Restless
Posted 10/4/2008 12:10 PM (GMT 0)
Jane i understand you on keeping the ac on all summer, its too hot here in the summer for e to be out in it much, its hard to breathe with being so muggy and humid, but we are entering our fall season now and the wweather is getting much better, i love the fall, my favorite season, i love to see all the leaves change color and i dont mind seeing leaves on the ground i think its pretty.

I am glad you put your foot down with your dauhgter. I agree you deserve so much better. I hope the lady who takes your joeys will be as goood to them as you are, that really breaks my heart to see you let them go, i know the brought you pleasure to take care of the little joeys.  I am glad they gave you a med for nasea.  I am praying the cancer drs help you get to feeling better an getting rid of the cancer.

I hope you plants will thrive. I know its late there and you neeed to be getting some sleep, i hope you do get some rest, my prayers are with you..

Posted 10/6/2008 10:24 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Sheryl the lady who is getting my little ones loves them just as much as i do infact i think they rule her life more than mine as there is no way i would have an adult kangaroo sitting in an arm chair by the fire all day long so i know they will be going to a great home the only good thing about the whole situation.
Today i mowed all the lawns and tonight i`m so exhausted but more physically than mentally ,My mind is racing i`m home alone and it`s so quiet here i have the television going but not watching it .My hubby and son return home tomorrow probably late in the evening i am looking forward to them coming back but yet i`m not .
I just feel as though i have to be continually doing something instead of sitting down having a rest .like when i did the lawns today it took me ages because when i had had enough i stopped for a bit then did some more .but when he is here i just get the feeling he is anoyed with me for not doing things .
I still have no word when i see the drs again but hope it will be soon i and tired of taking medication to stop the pain and yet if i dont take it the pain is so unbearable .Last night i had to pick up my daughter from work and couldn`t take them because they do effect my mental state and driving is not something i can do .so it was midnight when i took them so today i was so tired but i needed to keep going as i had so many things i wanted to finish today .
Kitt is there anymore news on your sister she is often in my thoughts and prayers .
Restless
Posted 10/6/2008 11:25 AM (GMT 0)
JAne I am glad your Joeys will be going to a lady who will take good care of them.  Now i cant imagine an adult kangaroo sitting in an armchair next to the fire in my house either. LOL!! You do plenty, you shouldnt be mowing the lawn, hubby should. You arein my prayers....
Posted 10/6/2008 7:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jane,

Just popping in to say hello and let you know that I am thinking about you. I hope that you are having a good day today.

I agree with Sheryl, the guys should be doing the lawn, but if you are like me, you will do it anyway, just for the exercise. One thing that you are not is lazy. So don't feel guilty when you aren't up to doing things.

Best wishes to you,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/6/2008 10:11 PM (GMT 0)

Jane I am laughing out loud as I picture a kangaroo sitting in a arm chair by the fire all day.  That is just to funny.  Why am I laughing, I have a Doberman that lays in the middle of my bed all day? 

I am sorry you cannot slow down your thoughts and that you are doing all the chores " so your hubby will not think you are worthless". Bah, he is insentive to your needs. Let him mow.  You are in pain and I am glad to hear you are using the pain pills and recognize they do make your head fuzzy and your reaction time slow.

I am glad you have found a Good home for the joeys.  That will give you peace of mind.

You will not believe this but yesterday afternoon a car pulled in my driveway and started tooting it's horn.  I looked out the window and there was my sister.  Thay let her out on her first day pass ever.  She was grinning from ear to ear that she surprised me...........and she really did.  Her daughter  has her car here now so she drove them down.

I felt such joy at seeing my Sis looking like a kid in a candy store. She had not been in a car since 8/13. They did not stay long but she got her wish to come to my house to visit instead of laying in the hospital.  She is having a few good days.  On Friday they will hit her with the chemo and it takes a lot out of her. She has so much hope.............she is an inspiration to me.

Well sweetie, I am off for now.  Take care and know I love ya.

Kitt

Posted 10/7/2008 10:49 AM (GMT 0)
Kitt I am glad they let your sister out that must have been a great surprise. Will be prayig for her duirng times of chemo , as tha will take alot out of her.

I too was laughing out loud wehn i thought of the kangaroo sitting in an arm chair by the fire. LOL

Jane i hope today is a better day for you, rest well.

Posted 10/7/2008 2:26 PM (GMT 0)

sheryl=jk

Thank you for your kind words and they are truly appreciated.

Jane

I need more stories about the roos. I have my pdoc appointment today.

I hope your day is a good one. (((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

Love yas,

Kitt

Posted 10/11/2008 5:36 AM (GMT 0)
Well just though i would drop in and say hello not been that well of late even with the pain relief the pain is still there .The dr has changed them again to something a bit more stronger and they seem to be helping a bit better but the nausea is still there and now i`m pretty tired a lot of the time .I still manage to get my things done and enjoy a bit of time out in my garden it`s good to see all my hard work madly planting has started to pay off as the smell and colours are so lovely .
I still have my two little joeys for a few more days as i could not get in contact witht he lady who is going to take them .But thats ok little Maggie has picked up and she seems to be improving each day so hopefully will be ok to go .
This morning i picked up a small baby " pee wee " chick from a little girl who father found it on the path last night .When i got it home found it to have pnemonia so luckily i had some antibiotics from a previous bird i had in care so after ringing the vet started him on them .( so to get him to take the medacine i inject a small amount into the little worms i have been feeding him but will not know if he will survive as he is pretty sick .

Kitt what a wonderful surprise to see your sister turn up at your house like she did .I bet she benefited so much herself in doing it as you did .
Chemo can be so hard on the body but with the great outlook your sister has i`m sure she will be great and will bounce back pretty well .
I will continue to pray for her and you that her progress is in the right direction .

I have so many stories about the kangaroos we have had here over the years but even though it is a sad story the outcome was really great which left us in tears of happiness.
This little joey who came into care was what we call a pinky ( one with no fur what so ever ) she who we named Jenny was only 420 gms when she was handed in usually we do not care for them that young but decided to give her a chance.We made a cosy bed for her with towels and a heat pad .we placed her in a polystyerine box which was to heep the heat in . in the morning the box was melted and the poor joey we thought was gone but she has so much fight in her that with the help of injecting fluids under she skin most of the next two following days she did survive ( i think god was really watching over jenny those few days ) She went on to contract a fatal disease that the joeys and kangaroos do get from cats ( toxoplasmosis ) but then again with the correct treatment she survived .Then when she was fifteen kilos she was released back into the wild ad god had intended in the begining .
There have ben joeys who would creep up behing my hubby and give him a good kick in the bum ( somehow i really think he needed it at the time but could never speak up myself ) animals are a real good judge of character .he he he
Any way thats all i can do for now my head is not so good and i need to lie down for a bit .
I hope everyone is in good health and those who are in pain that their pain is less severe .

""We are all fighting our own battles in life just have the courage to keep fighting especially when things are getting tough ""

Jane
Posted 10/11/2008 12:06 PM (GMT 0)
Jane,

Thank you so very much for the stories. I always love reading what you have to write. You are so kind and wonderful to the animals. God will surely bless you for that. They are his creatures and I think it means a lot to him as to whether we are kind to them or not.

I hope that things are going well for you. I know that it is hard losing your dear friends now. But I guess that was a decision that you had to make. I get this feeling you will be nurturing animals one way or another though.

You are such a wonderful person. And I never will forget how you helped me that night when I found out my nephew died. That meant the world to me, and I never ever will forget you for that.

Take caer, get some rest, we will be awaiting your next post when you are ready.

Luv and hugs, Karen
Posted 10/11/2008 9:55 PM (GMT 0)
Last night i recieved the phonecall every perent dreads .Your son had been in a car accident and he has totalled his car .My heart just sank not again .Hubby and i rushed off to the scene of the accident and as soon as i saw the car i thought there was no way he could of survived that it.The front of the car was totally crushed i just felt so sick it`s only sixteen months since i lost my other son this way .Then my daughter came over she is one of the state emergency voulenteers she said he is ok and would you believe not that hurt .Only a few broken bones in his foot from putting his foot so hard on the breaks .In fact no one was injured in the crash. The other driver was speeding and did not give way at a give way sign .How lucky can this child be .I have to take him up to the hospital today for xrays .
What a horrible night we had last night but out of this just maybe the rift etween he and his day will be a lot better .I can only hope .

Karen you have been there for me when i have been at my lowest and it`s not just been the one time you are more than welcome .
Anyway i have to go for a bit will drop back a bit later .
Restless
Posted 10/12/2008 3:20 PM (GMT 0)

Dear Jane,

Wow, I am so sorry for the scare you received but also I am so very thankful your son was OK.

You were certainly granted a gift from above as someone was watching over your son.  I know sometimes the cars look like there is no way anyone could have survived but the driver walks away without much but a scratch. 

The joey stories are so funny, I can picture one sneaking up on your hubby and giving him a swift kick in the behind.  I would love to see that on video. I love to hear the stories too as we do not have any roos and it is a whole new world to me through your eyes.  Thank you so much for sharing.

As far as your nausea, do you have medication for that? I know my sister has been taking Zofran daily and it helps her.  I do not know what you have available.

I can picture your garden coming to life and you created it, you are really quite amazing.  yeah Never give up my dear friend.  I am here for you.

Love,
Kitt

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