How can I help motivate depressed husband

deb,

Depression is associated with dark words. “I’m not good enough,” “What’s the use of trying,” “I’m boring,” “I just have no luck,” “Why me" and so on.  A depressed person repeats this negative self-talk so many times until it becomes automatic, constantly replaying the same sad lyrics in his mind and believing every word.

Exercise physically and mentally empowers the self, awakening the potential to grow and move on. Should you push him.............I think you should start slowly and go with him until he is ready to go on his own.

The sunlight will energize him. A brisk walk will de-stress and cheer him  up. Aim for a twenty minute walk and each time try to pick up the pace. To make it exciting walk briskly for five minutes. Then slow down and walk at a relaxed pace for two minutes. Again, pick up the pace for five minutes, and stroll for two minutes. Continue the cycle. Varying the intervals kicks up the body and his mood, keeping him interested, alert and involved in the switches. When this becomes habitual, have him  pump his  arms and sprint for a minute as an interval.

Buy him a new pair of sneakers..............to remind him he needs to break those puppies in.

Stick up motivating quotes all over your home, especially on the refrigerator. Play motivating music, perhaps the theme song from Rocky.

Get him outside and into the world again. 

Like Nike says, just do it.

Good Luck,
Kitt

Hi Lynn,

Has your husband had a physical lately? His depression has been going on for a very long time. The reason I am asking is that I have fibromyalgia and I was in bed for two years due to that. The doctor finally put me on adderall and it really helped me. I now get up every day and try to do something constructive. Has he applied for disability? If not, I think that it is time that he does. It almost sounds like there is something going on in addition, either that or he is most severly depressed which would get him disability.

Best wishes hon for a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen

Thanks so much for your reply wifeofdepression. I so understand your tiredness. Each day I wake up and I just don't know how much more energy I have just to try and be positive. My husband is on the end of his medical leave time and I just don't know what will happen next. I don't know how much more patience his boss will have. My husband says he is skill-less and should just resign. What then??

His family only wants to hear good news and do not call here at all. When I am feeling like a need an ear and I call them, I am so sorry I did. They say that it is too much for them to hear. My family says they are sorry but they are glad that they are not in my shoes. I reallly am all alone in dealing with this. It is so hard to fight this all alone. The days are so long and I just can't sleep through the night worrying about what will happen if he loses his job. He says he can't do anything about it and that we will just lose everything. He is not old enough to retire. I just wish there was some way I could motivate him to care. I don't know how much longer I can keep on fighting.

Thanks for listening. I think I found this place just in time for myself. At least I can put some on my thoughts in writing. It does take away some of the heavy weight I think.

Debbie

Hello everyone..............

To the best of my knowledge generic medications have the same active ingredients, the same dosage form (tablets, capsules, suspension, and syrup) and are identical in the strength or concentration to brand name medications.

They may look different in shape, size and colors. There are strict guidelines that the generic medication has to meet in order to be called therapeutically equivalent and be marketed to you.

To be approved by the Food and Drug administration here, the amount of medication absorbed and the time that it takes the medication to be absorbed by the generic has to be within a certain percent of the brand name medication.

Even with these guidelines, there may be small differences between medications manufactured by different companies. In many cases, these differences will not dramatically change the way people respond to the medicine, but, in some people, even these small differences may be important. Usually, if a person can be kept on the same manufacturer’s product, they can be effectively and safely treated.

I hope this helps you.  Lynn I think you may have stumbled on an idea for your husbands changes.

Take care,
Kitt

hello, maybe you can help me.  I don't know if my husband is depressed.  He came home one night from work in july and said that he needs space.  I know that he is not having an affair.  We have a good life we have one son who is so wonderful and cute.  He says onething and then he says the oppisite.  He is working and not going in late, but before we went to newzealand to see his mom and said he didn't want to then the next night he did.  He loves to run and bike, but latley, he doesn't feel like it.  I ask him if he is depressed he says no.  friends and family have seen it too.  He use to love restoreing cars and selling them.  He has not touch the one in our yard for the past four months.  he wanted to put an addtion on about the same time and now doesn't want to live her.  He doesn't want to hang out with our friends anymore.  He goes to work and then goes to where he is staying.  For a long time he has had trouble going to sleep.  He is a paramedic and i know he has some rough calls?  Is this depression and how to I make him see it and get help.

thanks

I am sorry to hear it. In fact i have no concrete solution to it But what I face is the other side of the same coin. My wife is depressed and always thinks negative and starts crying all of sudden and I remain a plain spectator to it and am not finding a solution out of it. I too am in search of the solution and could not resist myself posting here.

I want to speak from the other side of this coin
As the depressed person sitting in a fetal position not seeing even what was on TV
My daughter could see I was going down
Kitt ( lil sis ) knew it as well

Neither of them pushed but they continually showed their love and thoughtfulness for me via hugs from Cait
Phone calls from Kitt

I felt as though I was in a hole so big and could not bring myself out of it ......
I have never been so like that ever
I am normally outgoing optomistic and I can get thru anything
I was "supermom" in a way and all that came crashing down due to ilnesses ........deaths of Mother ......2 yrs later father and an operation I was terrified of
As I said Kitt knew all this and would reach out to me and even if was to say "hekllo" and what are you doing...........her and Cait finally got thru to me

I did DIG my claws in and with baby steps I was able to make it thru with the love and support of my darling daughter and best sis ever ( Kitt)

Nudge gently IMHO and yes the sun does wonders as do walks and just being out in the air /exercise
NO watching horrid stuff on TV..I would literally break at a commercial about abused animals

Get out those shoes lol and I think you will all find that by gentle loving huggs he will get there.....
As well as talk to you about it as long as you dont try to pull it out of him IMHO

I KNOW I did and I am forever grateful to those 2 and other special members here on HW

Wishing you all the best............"Used To Be Thataway" .........LYN

Just my half penny worth

Never a problem
I thought I was so lost but I am here to tell you
THERE is a LIGHT and there is certainly HOPE
and RECOVERY

Keep us posted plz

..........................LYN

You people are doing absolutely great, what else a husband wants except the support and motivation from wife. Being a wife we have to play so many roles. You are doing a great work. I am proud to be a women