Finally diagnosed!

Hey im shane (a girl called shane...yes!!)

and im new!!

today i finally got the courage together to go to the doctor and ask for some help.

and i think i ended up depressed due to my 'pretend its ok and then it will be ok' attitude. and so for more than a year and a half i have been miserable.

So i finally went to the doctor because i was sick of feeling terrible all the time and needed to tell someone so i could "fix" it.

however, one of the reasons that i took so long to go to the doctor was because of the anti-depressants.

i have an addictive personality, so i disgustingly hang on to my cigarettes as though i would die without them. and im not happy, but content with that, because i know that if its not cigarrettes it would have been alcohol, and if not alcohol it would have been something else...

im scared that the anti-deps that my doctor has prescribed be will lead to me being dependant on them.

ive been reading through the HealingWell forum for a couple of days and secretly printing info off at work (i work in a pharmacy) and im scared of the sideaffects and possible withdrawl i would face if/when i tried to stop taking them.

(oh yeah, the doctor prescribed Lexapro for me)

he told me to start taking half a tablet per day and then next time i see him (in a week) he will decide if he will increase my dose.

but my lexapro is still sitting in my handbag, waiting for me to take it.

i've heard that it doesnt only help you, but it can make you feel even weaker and 'out of it'  - as though your not in your own body, as though you can feel that its controling your brain and your not.... but there is so much information that i dont know what to believe.

i think i want to take them tho.......

my boyfriend has been really supportive of me through this time, and i know that he is against anti-depressants (for his own valid personal reasons) but im scared that he won't like that i want to at least try the lexapro. i feel like ive made him put up with so much for so long and some how i feel guilty for wanting to take them. even though i know i should try....

i dont know....but i wont know if i never try....right?????

thanks

-shane

Thanks for your reply Kitt!

Yeah my doctor is helping me heaps, i was heaps worried when i went in, becuase i didnt have an appointment, i was just seeing an emergency doctor. The doctors in this small town are generally pretty slack- over worked and underpaid. But luckily i got one of the few good ones around.

He has organised for me to have appointments with him every week for a while, so he can track how im going. and im happy with that.

We went out to a shopping mall with some friends and i was finding it very difficult to cope- i felt all tingly and strange, i didnt like it at all! My aunt suffers from anxiety so badly that she cant even leave her own house, and i dont want to end up like that. im still young (20), and i should enjoy shopping and mucking around at arcades with friends!!

So Ive decided to take the Lexapro, i discussed it with my boyfriend- who has always been against anti-depressants, but he wants me to feel better too, so he doesnt mind me taking them.

But im kind of doing a two month monitoring thing, if my boyfriend, or the doctor thinks that im acting strange - or my personality is changing them i will stop and try something else, whether that be another pescription med or something else.

Ive tried heaps of different natural stuff, St Johns Wort (do not start taking this if you are currently taking anti-depressants it affects how they work- in a bad way) and heaps of homeopathic remedies and tissue salts. they all helped a bit, but at the moment i think i need something more so i can clear my head and sort through my problems.

thanks for your support kitt.

its great to know that there are sites like this around, because it gets really hard to find someone you can say this too...and not feel guilty for it.

thanks

-shane

Hi Shane, I read your post and I think it is worth a try to take the a/d med.  If the lexapro doesn't work for you there are so many other ones that can help.  It took me 6 tries before I got the right med and it has helped me tremendously and I have no side effects other than when I first started the med it made me sleepy but I take it at night anyway so that is fine.  Don't be afraid to tell the dr. if the lexapro doesn't seem like the right fit.  It sounds like you found a good dr. Be proud of yourself for taking the steps to feel better. And post on here any time.  You will find wonderful people to talk to who are always willing to help or give you ideas or just sympathize.  Take good care of yourself.

Aurora