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Posted 11/9/2008 5:18 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all,

A month ago:

-wife left me

-lost my job due to being really anxious

-had to move back to my parents house

I was diagnosed with MDD about 2 weeks ago, and have been on Celexa (am) and Trazodone (pm). The first week of meds was good,no negative thoughts and feeling better, however 2 days ago I felt different, like I was taken down a few notches. I'm starting to have automatic negaive thoughts again, but i try to kick them to the curb as much as I can.

I know meds take time, so I'm just weathering this storm until Nov. 14th, as I have an appointment with a pdoc then. I was thinking of asking him to add another med to my regimen, or upping the dose of Celexa. Also the trazodone was prescribed for sleep, but it doesnt work as well as I want it to.

Anyone else have the experience of the meds working well, then suddenly feeling they're not? I don't think the first week was a placebo effect, because I still had a lot of anxiety. Now I don't get anxious as much, but the thoughts keep entering my mind!

Sorry if my post seems vague! I just don't want to go into too much detail right now.

Also, I have a great supportive family, and a niece on the way (Christmas baby!), but no supportive friends. Hopefully I'll find some friends here. I have a lot of time on my hands, but I am going to nursing school in January so until then I hope you guys will be here for me.

Looking forward to hearing from all of you out there

- Eli

Posted 11/9/2008 5:26 PM (GMT 0)
I also have quit smoking (been smoking for a looong time) and have quit drinking Coca Cola (I was a Coca Cola addict!).
Posted 11/9/2008 7:09 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Eli,

I think that you just might need your meds adjusted. Good thing that you are going to the pdoc soon. You have less than a week to go. I would explain everything to him/her and see where to go from there.

I am glad that you have found us. There is a wonderful group of members here that are so kind and compassionate. So I think that you will get along good. Keep posting, we are here for you.

I must add that is is snowing here today. The sun keeps popping out and everything looks beautiful. But cold...

Have a wonderful day,
Hugs, Karen

PS Keep posting. We would like to hear more from you.

Also wanted to add congratulations on becoming smoke free.  That is very hard to do, that was a huge accomplishment.  So I think you are doing much better than you realize.  Keep up the good work.

Posted 11/9/2008 11:00 PM (GMT 0)
My mom keeps on telling me how many good things I have done since getting diagnosed, but sometimes the negative part of your brain starts to take over and makes me feel like I haven't done a thing. However I try my best to look at the bright side as much as I can. I cried today too, which upset me, but I guess you get bad days and good days, and in 2 weeks I only had 1 bad day so that is a blessing, isn't it?

I had joined a different forum and got no response at all, I am happy that the members here are so involved.

The sun was out this morning and I sat on the front steps, just basking. It felt good. :)
Posted 11/9/2008 11:31 PM (GMT 0)
That sounds like pretty good odds. Only one bad day in two weeks. I hope that continues. Eventually you will see that the entire day isn't bad, we just have bad events sometimes and it is all in how we look at it and react to it.

You sound like you are actually on the road to recovery and I think that is great. Just take life one day at a time and live in the now.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 11/10/2008 1:13 AM (GMT 0)

Hey there and hello, welcome to HealingWell and the depression forum. You've come to the right place to find people that have a good idea of what you're going through. I look forward to getting to know you.

I know the meds will sometimes cause feelings of wanting to harm youself so if that is what your feeling, stop the med and call your physician.

You have set many goals for you and I am wondering if you should back off a bit.  Stopping smoking and giving up Coke all at the same time would send me straight into a brick wall and I don't smoke :)  I would have to give up my diet coke by cutting back and substituting water.

I agree one bad day is not bad odds at all.  When you start to feel sad and down, kick the "stinkin thinkin" to the curb and go do something you like to do.

I am so glad your Mom supports you.  Nusring school, what a great choice. cool I am here for you so keep on posting.

Kitt

Posted 11/10/2008 1:38 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Kitt and Karen. It seems I made a good choice about joining this forum!

I've been smoke free for 2 weeks, I was on the nicotine patch when I was in the crisis inpatient center. I was there for two days, then went back to smoking, but my anxiety got worse because of the nicotine. I knew too that caffeine would make it worse. I actually feel good about those two goals, as I could not have imagined myself not smoking or not drinking soda.

I was with my ex wife for 5 years, and the 'bad thoughts' I describe are memories with her, which upset me, and at the same time puts me into a cycle of just feeling like a failure. I do realize now with help from my family that the she was in a way abusive to me, mentally, and that I'm in a better place now. I have accepted that the relationship has ended, which was a hard thing to do at first, but I'm just focusing on me now, trying to find myself again, trying to figure out what makes me happy. I must admit I lost myself, and gave of myself too much. Hey, what can I say I;m a lover not a fighter.

I am unemployed and think I'm not ready to get a job yet, as I do get panic attacks/ bouts of anxiety, and am just afraid to lose control. I am looking into volunteering at the local homeless shelter for a few hours a week and maybe upping the hours once I feel comfortable. I am also looking forward to my sister having a baby, that will definitely give me a boost.

My regular day is basically waking up, going on the treadmill (I did my first 30 minutes of exercise yesterday! whoohoo!), playing with my dogs, TV, checking the various forums and resources, spending time with family, then sleep. What things do you guys do to keep busy? I need a hobby, but I feel so lost, like I don't know what I want to do sometimes.

Sorry for the lengthy post. Haven't spoken to anyone outside my family about this. I am still working on my insurance so I could see a therapist.
Posted 11/10/2008 4:02 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Eli,  Karen and Kitt are right - you have joined a very good forum.  Everyone on here is so caring and so willing to help.  You will always have some one to listen to you and respond to your posts.  You may need your meds adjusted so see what the dr says.  And do stick with your meds. It can take a number of weeks before they kick in.  And if these meds aren't right the dr. will find something else that will work.  I am so glad that you have a caring and supportive family.  That really means a lot. Starting school soon should be a very positive thing for you.  You can have a new career and who knows what friends you will meet at school.  I think your future looks very positive.  Try not to think about the things that upset you, just try to stay in the present and do something to distract yourself if you feel bad.  Reading, writiing your thoughts, anything, if you have a hobby.  You have a new family here at HW and you will always have friends and we will  always welcome hearing from you.  Take good care of yourself and hope you will keep posting.

Aurora

Posted 11/10/2008 7:24 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Aurora... sometimes I am too hard on myself, expecting myself to feel "normal" already, when I know that I have to be patient. Time will heal every one of us, I presume. I have to accept that, and take baby steps instead of trying to leap across...
Posted 11/11/2008 5:30 PM (GMT 0)

trying2getby said...
My mom keeps on telling me how many good things I have done since getting diagnosed, but sometimes the negative part of your brain starts to take over and makes me feel like I haven't done a thing. However I try my best to look at the bright side as much as I can. I cried today too, which upset me, but I guess you get bad days and good days, and in 2 weeks I only had 1 bad day so that is a blessing, isn't it?

I had joined a different forum and got no response at all, I am happy that the members here are so involved.

The sun was out this morning and I sat on the front steps, just basking. It felt good. :)

That is just so good, your Mom supports you and you cannot find a better friend then here. I believe that you would be getting something good out of this community
Posted 11/11/2008 7:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hi

I was taking celexa for a long time and found it did help at first but then seemed to stop working for me. I would stick with it for a few more weeks and see how you get on you may need to adjust the dose but speak tou your doctor about that. There are lots of different types of AD and they all work in different ways for different people. It sounds like you are taking the right steps and i hope you continue to improve Aurora is right little steps to big improvement and try not to be to hard on youself and stay positive.

Take care
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