I need help

I don't know what to do anymore..i cry everyngiht, i dont even rrmember wat its liek to be truly happy anymore.
I wish i had a real mom, tha didnt hit me..i cant even rmemeber the last time she said she loved me, or even jus gave me a hug..everythings been goign wrong latly, and i cant take it anymore, i feel like im losing myself
about a month ago i got a abortion..it torn me apart, but i couldnt provide for the child if i kept it..then i started doiing drugs, and drinkign more regulary..my friends all left me, didnt liek wat i was doing, i feel so alone..with no one to talk to
help me

Post Edited (TaraAnne) : 11/2/2008 2:24:43 PM (GMT-7)

I have talked to her, i wrote her a letter, i found it was the best way to get out everything, then it seemed like it last a month, not even that she was being nice, and actualyl loviing and caring..then it all went away, everythign went back to normal..and just so much stuff is goign on in my life, and i see ppl talk to their moms bout everything, then their i am, scared to even talk to my mom..it kills me

The only person i really talk to is my boyfriend, but i feel like i drag him down with me..he does help me thro alot, but he shouldnt have to take everythign on his shoulders..thats why i looked up this website..and well already i feel a lil better knoing i have someone else to talk to, and i am in grade 11, its so stressful..i dont kno wat i want to do with my life, i hate being at home, and it jus seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is goign wrong..and i dotn kno how to cope with it all. And when you say i have to love myself, thats one thing latly ive been having troubles with, it seems liek everytime i look in the mirror i pick myself apart, i look at every detail i dont like..and i jus cant stand it..i use to always jus look for the happy things in life, now eveythings different. Ive been rushed to the hospital 2 times in the last month from panic attack, they doctor perscribed me a medication, but i didnt get it, i dotn belive in that kind of stuff. Its just, i hate feelign this way, and it keeps getting worse and worse. I want to just move out of my house, and be by myself away from everything, but i jus lost my job not long ago so i have no money to do anything..i feel like its jus never guna end

You need help from your DR. to deal with the depression.Please go to your DR. right away.Almost every one that gets a abortion ends up dealing with depression at some point in there life because of it.I also hope that you are using birth control after this has happened.Remember that you should also be worring about STD`s as well as pregnantses.You are almost a aduilt so just try to hange on for a little bit longer.You will be out of school soon then it will be up to you if you are going to get a job or go to collage once you are out of the house your mom might be able to show her love more because she wont have as much responsabelaty.Please give the med`s a chance to work you say that you dont beleave in it but ask yourself if you want to keep on going to the hospital.What med`s are thay giving you in the hospital?Do you feel better after you go to the hospital?If I had went to my DR. last winter to get on some anti-depressent med`s I would not have the medical problams that I have today.Because I hurt myself I now have life long medical issues that I have to live with every day and all of that could have been avoided if I would have dealt with my depression.so I am asking you to please please give it a try.Remember that there are alot of med`s and that it sometimes takes a while to find the right one for you.It also sounds like you really need some kind of counsaling or a support group try to find one.GOOD LUCK.

Hello Tara Ann

Welcome to HealingWell.  I am so sorry your life is in an uproar right now but I agree you need a counselor and your best person to talk with first would be your physician.  They usually have the info on group counselors and therapy options.

You posted "then i started doiing drugs, and drinkign more regulary."  Have you stopped this behavior.  If you were doing drugs and your afraid to take physician prescribed meds that may help you, I feel it would be in your best interest to talk with your Doctor and be honest.

Also you Mom is abusing you.  That is not right, do you have a counselor at school you can talk to.

I know when your down it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and accept that you must love yourself first but I believe in you so please believe in yourself.

Gentle Hugs to you

Kitt

Ive stopped doing drugs..i still drink sometimes..i know its not good, but it jus takes it all away for a lil while..and i currently dont have a doctor..who can i talk to instead?
and thanks everyone who has gave me advice..i came on this website wanting someone to talk to, and i got more then i thoguth, i got a few ppl, and your all so kind and helpful, jus want to thank you.
and its also good hearing from ppl who i can relate to, instead of talkign to my boyfriend who cant really relatee to wats happening to me. In my high school we dont have councellors all the time, and im not sure how to find out when they do come, or how to make an appointment but i am goign to look into that

Im from Ontario, Canada..and health department sounds liek a good start thanks,
and i have been lookign for a doctor, except here theres a MAJOR shortage more then half our population has no doctor...i had my abortion in toronto, which is a 2 hours away from where i live..it was the closest place to me.

Hi Blingbabed,

First of all I would like to welcome you to the forum. You have come to a really good place. There are many wonderful members here that are so caring and compassionate. I am sure that you will be glad that you joined.

Keep your daughter's best interest at heart and you can never go wrong. She is a new special child in your life and she should be most important to you. I believe that she is. It sounds like you really love her a lot.

By the sound of it, your ex has a lot of growing up to do. I wouldn't worry about getting him back in your life. It sounds like he might not be worth trusting. I don't know if it would be good to have him in your life right now. But that is just my opinion. You deserve a man who loves you and your baby. Not someone that is out with others all of the time.

Just keep trying, this will blow over and you will be back to feeling secure with your daughter. She is innocent in all of this, so like I said, Keep her best interest at heart. And I promise you everything will work out. Eventually you will meet a good man who loves you and your daughter. Just look at her, she is beautiful.

Best wishes, keep posting, we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen

TaraAnne,

I am so happy for you. I think that you will find that counseling really helps. Keep up the good work.

Hugs, Karen

  Please give yourself a great big hug from me to you for making a appointment with the councellors.Please remember that it takes some time and dont give up.There will always be someone to talk to here so good luck and keep on posting even if its just to talk.

Tara,

Wanted to offer support to you.  Sometimes the road seems all uphill.  Be strong and keep moving forward.  Remember that you can ask for help when you need help.  I'm glad things are looking up for you.  Have a smile.  They are nice.