Just a hint of advice?

Although this is most likely common among teenagers, right now Im suffering from depression. For the past two weeks Ive had a feeling of confusion, low self-esteem (Which has always been there, just a little worse right now than normal.) lack of sleep, lost ten pounds, I havn't gotten the same joy out of my activities as I used to. Lets start with confusion first. Im not really sure how long ago, but I broke up with my first 'love'. Honestly it was a bad situation and it came down to me telling her that I just needed to hear the answer to the three questions of why do you love me, how am I different from everyone else, and where are we going with this. I told her that I would give her the whole day to think about it, and when she called me later that night, she couldnt tell me any of them. It bothered me, but I figured I had gotten over it. After this, I started trying to get out and try to date new people. Two girls I almost dated but the one just stopped talking to me all of a sudden, and the other came to the decision that she didnt like me that way. The third one I actually dated, but the relationship was a bit confusing. To make a long story short with her, she sent me a text message after being irritated the whole night for no reason saying that we were breaking up. The next morning I sent her one back saying just find someone that you're happy with, etc etc etc. She sent one back saying at first it was a joke, then it was a test to see if Id try to stop her, and then she told a friend of mine that it was to get back at me for something. After her is the girl that Im currently involved with. Shes nice, but I feel like Im rushing things too fast. Before her I just told myself that I wouldnt date anyone until college (Im 17 and a Junior by the way) but I dated her my Freshman year, and always wondered if we had something. She said that she didn't want to date anyone either until college, but later that night she was debating whether or not to date me. The next day it was that she wanted me, and only me. For the longest time I figured the same thing, but recently I dont know what Im doing. She also didnt want to kiss until we dated, seeing as how Im making her wait a month because she told me to make her wait, but we kissed yesterday. I feel absolutely terrible for the fact that I feel like Im rushing all of this, and I dont even know if I want to date her anymore. The though of the first girl coming back up has gotten me confused. I also think that I like another girl but Im not sure if its because she has a resembalence to the first girl or not, but I also do want to get out of this one so fast just in case there is something there, and for the sake of her feelings. Low self-esteem as always been there for me from when I was younger, and no one wanted to date me, or really talk to me for that matter. I cant say its a terrible thing because it really makes me appritiate all the things that I have a lot more. As far as the lack of sleep, I just havnt been able to sleep for one or two weeks, I keep waking up every 30 minutes to an hour just to try and go back to sleep. I dont dream of anything, I get to the point of dozing off and wake back up. The losing ten pounds may just be because Ive been working out lately to try to get into the habit of it, and thought maybe it would relieve some depression or stress. For not getting as much joy, I used to play video games to just make me happy. It was like having a second life that I was able to run away to. Not saying that this was the best idea Ive made, but it was always WoW, or something of that nature that I would play until bed. Currently Ive been jumping through all of the games that Ive played in the past just to find Im really not having as much fun as I did before. The same has gone with music, it ment alot to me, but I just dont find it as enjoyable as I did before. I tried to tell my parents about the lack of sleep issue, but the only thing my mother told me was "Yea, weve been having that problem too." I dont know how serious it is, so I dont want to talk to a psychiatrist, but I thought maybe I could get some guidence from someone here. Sorry for the huge message, but just want a little advice if I can get it. Thanks.

I guess some things I didnt clear up when I posted, and sorry about that xD. But the questions I asked her, were after 6 months of dating, and we hadnt talked about our future the whole time. She was the only one that I asked these questions, not really a "Who wants to be my bride" game show :P. The games that I played were from when I got home from school, until the time I went to bed. Lately I havnt been doing that, I started getting out of massive amounts of games a while ago. Now I pretty much just listen to a bit of music, text a couple of people, eat, lose track of time, and then go to bed at 10, but more recently 9. As far as the girls, it isnt really whats taking up my thinking time. Ive just always had an impulse to date someone to feel wanted. Ill have points in a month that Im kind of depressed, but easy to get over, but one to two days out of a month Ill be severely depressed, and wont get over it for the whole day, and just feel a little crappy 2-3 days after. Im not really sure if Ill be able to go to a counselor quiet yet, Im always so embarrassed about those kinds of things...Im not really sure why. Any ideas of maybe easing out the confusion? Meditation sounded like a pretty good idea, but im not so sure where to start.

Home life honestly isn't bad, the only things that are bothering me are what I said at first, its just Im not really sure what to do about the sleeping issue, and as far as emotional stress with dating. (Ugh.) Also any advice maybe on improving my self-esteem? >_o

I know, I was just looking for a little guidance, I just feel so uncomfortable talking to someone else about my problems, Im normally the one to listen to everyone elses, and help them out with it. Ironically, Im actually doing that now. But I was just looking for some other ways to maybe deal with it other than a counselor. :S

Well regarding your sleep problems, does it happen every single night? there is usually a reason for this, like your body sometimes tries to send you a message. in my case I used to have sleep problems if I ate late, or ate too much. it might be because of those stimulating activities like video games. try reserving the last hour before you sleep to something less stimulating such as reading a book, to prepare your brain for sleep.

I don't suggest pills to make you sleep, you don't want to go that road unless you really have to, like for certain circumstances. most of them are addicting and you may become dependant on them, the natural way is better.

You mentioned your excersizing thats great, it so much better than playing video games. you said you start playing video games right when you get back from school till you go to bed, that very unhealthy. also I would avoid online games such as WOW as they are very addicting , they are like taking drugs. I'v tried them myself and I was an addict for almost 6 years.

with girls, like you suggested and others it sounds like your moving fast but I don't see a big issue there.

Well seems to me the reason your sleeping through classes is that your not getting enough good sleep. sleep has many stages and maybe your missing some of the key stages, I suggest you go see a sleep doctor and ask for help, there is even a sleeping test you can do, basically you sleep in a special clinic and they monitor your sleep pattern to identify what is going wrong with your sleep, and if needed they might give you medication or what every remedy they suggest.. sleep disorder is a very serius thing and there is many types of sleep disorders, so take it seriously and find out what is going wrong. by the way when you wake up do you have any bad dreams too?

And its really good your staying away from those video games, specially WOW or the online ones they just take up too much of your time in real-life. When I used to play them, they used to occupy my mind even when I wasn't even playing.. like when I'm in work or with friends.. suddenly everything in life became boring unless I was in the video game.... I have bin clean since april this year and I hope I never go back to them...

So, I will give this a try, because I think we have a lot in common.

Listen, you are lucky, yea, I said lucky. Why? Because you arent in a horrible stage of depression yet. If you feel like it is a problem for you now, which it seems you do, then you need to do something about it NOW. Do NOT wait like its something you can throw under your bed for a while. Theres nothing wrong with asking for some guidance, but our guidance seems to be pointing you in the direction of someone you can talk to. You HAVE to learn to talk to other people and not be uncomfortable. You cant get through it without talking.

Okay, you may think Im being hard on you....but trust me. And heres why you should. Im 17. A Senior in HS. And a former sufferer of depression, anxiety, and panic. (and a muscle disorder) I was a cutter and I almost ODed once. I stayed quiet for a long time, too long. I was a listener and advice giver myself. I had NEVER had to talk to someone about my problems, because I had never had any. Now, this all started a year and a half ago and Im just now getting better. And I have to take medication for it. So, my advice to you is to TALK to SOMEONE, anyone.

I always wanted to and I never could. I just couldnt. But, then I was forced to and I was glad I did. It helped. And now I have a whole support team that I can go to. I dont feel uncomfortable as much anymore because its just a part of life and it happens to ALOT of people. You are no less of a person for feeling depressed or anything. So, never think that.

As for the sleep. There is alot you can try. You can try a warm drink, stretches, warm bath, muscle relaxation, talk to you doctor. I could never talk to my parents, so they still dont know about any of it except just a little anxiety. But, it was 500x as bad as that. The worst thing ever. So, dont wait, go talk to someone. I talked to my school counselor. Over a year later, Im still nervous and scared of talking to her! lol But, I do it because its whats best. I had sleep problems but one of my medications helped with it so... But, different things help different people. You just have to experiment.

Just, please, talk to someone about it. Dont wait just because you feel uncomfortable, it isnt worth it if it gets worse. And it may not, dont think your automatically going to end up like me! Yours could go away by itself! But, why take that chance when you have the chance to do something about it now... think about it. Because I would never EVER want another person to have to go through what I went through....

Good luck. Keep us posted. We care about you and we will do everything we can to help you, I know I will! I've been there and I know how it is. So, if you ever need to talk, my email and everything is on my profile I believe, feel free anytime! Take Care

Karen here knows what all I have been through. She was there for me through everything so she does know what all I have gone through and can tell you that it wasnt pretty. I do hope you make up your mind. I wasnt trying to scare you or make you think what happened to me would happen to you because thats not true. Im only here to help you, not scare you. And, although its possible, you nessecarily end up like me! I was just telling you so that we could find some common ground. Because I know how being a teen can affect that and everything else. And I understand the worst parts. Not to mention the extra muscle disorder on top of that, which has stripped me of alot of things I enjoyed doing, such as sports and video games! So... AND, Im here to make sure you dont have to experience the same thing I did. Lifes to short! Try talking. It cant hurt.

Well, thank you guys so much once again for taking time out just to be able to help me with this. I mean, I feel better already just knowing that people care about me. To answer the question of whether or not Im having bad dreams, Im not actually having any at all. Its just black, and then Ill wake up. I tried taking a nap earlier today for an hour, and woke up twice, so I dont think I got too much out of that =\ Ill try going to bed now to get a little more sleep. Ill also try sleeping a good bit during the weekend to get the energy back. I also remember, I talked to my Social Studies teacher/good friend. She started asking me if I was drinking any soda or anything, which Im not, I actually stopped and started drinking water a while ago. She also brought up the fact that if Im working out at about 800, that this could be whats keeping me up. From what shes heard, if you would go to be around a normal time of about 10, that you would want to be done with working out and start cooling down at about 6. She also suggested a few things such as Soduku (Sp?) or something like that before bed, as thats what she does before she goes to bed. She said that sometimes reading a book could be a bad idea if you get wrapped up in it and either dont want to put it down, or lay there wondering whats going to happen next. Thanks for all of the advice guys, Ill try a bit of it out. I also checked the library today for meditation books, but to no avail. But once again, thank you so much for the advice, Ill get to bed now. :D