Life Decisions

I am in a dilemma. Ok so my problem is i've been living here for 5 years with my stepfamily and my dad. My real family is across the lake a little to the north. Couple hours of driving. My 2 sisters and my brother living in that house. I want to go live over their. Especially now since my stepsister who is 37 years old just moved back in after financial troubles, and she is really loud and obnoxious and a treehugger who gets mad when i leave a little pork fat on my plate. I have always felt like i was in a prison when i was i live here and now that my stepsister is here i really feel like im constrained in my room. I have never really got along with my stepfamily or talked to them to that matter. I just stayed here because the highschool was better here. Problem is im in a community college here and im scheduled to start me second semester of my major and my dad is paying for it. I feel if i leave than my dad will flip out and disown me. I am out of a job and he is really paying for everything that i need, since my savings is dry. I also think i am his only real blooded kid here and he will feel alone in this house. I also feel if i move over the lake i will be throwing away yet another good opportunity for me and i will be doing nothing over there or be stuck being a fry cooker the rest of my life (nothing wrong with that just not for me). But i am really not happy here and i feel like im in a prison here. Across the lake i will be with my real family and i will be able to be free and open. I don't have any friends here nor over there. But at least, i will be able to talk to my family and be less constrained. Also they treat me like a baby here and always make sure im fed. If i go across the lake i wouldnt be treated like a kid and it will teach me how to be on my own and fend for myself. That is my question do i go over there where i will be less constrained and happy. Or do i stay here where i will be getting job training for the job i will be doing the rest of my life for free and be buttered up and always fed.

Spaceman, I agree with Kitt.  You may not like living with your step family but you have a home and a father who obviously cares about you and wants the best for you.  How much more school do you have before you finish the program you are in?  If it is not that long then I would stick it out because first of all, your dad is paying for your school, your living expenses and when you finish you will have a degree that will enable you to get the job you want.  Once you are able to have a good resume and find a job you can think about moving back with your mom.  She might expect you to contribute to expenses if you are working but if you had your own apartment you would be paying for everything. I would try to ignore the step sister. That doesn't mean you have to be rude to her but don't let her get to you.  And if she complains about a piece of fat on your plate offer it to her and tell her you are not eating it as you are trying to be careful of your health.You may not like your step family but your situation could be so much worse and before long you will be able to do what you want.  I hope this has helped.

Aurora

you say tough it out when i've been toughing it out for 5 years. im just sick of this. I shouldn't constantly think about moving out of this place. i dont care about education im just doing it because everybody i know tells me its good for you. man i could be have a good conversation with my dad and as soon a member of my stepfamily comes in the room my mind just draws a blank. man im so ****ed up. my head has been hurting just thinking about this crap, its not even a headache its just my mind constantly thinking about how crappy my life is. man i sometimes think i need to trade bodies with a kid with nothing because i have alot and i suck at using it. im a life failure my mind needs to replaced with someone who wants it. humans are parasites nothing more just working in a bubble day after day for what. why are we here? I was raised a christian and i have lost faith. because it just doesn't make sense. the human mind has evolved to much, why do we have the ability to think like this? my mind has crippled me dddffffffffffffffffffffauslkdfmnkl;asd

Heej Spaceman,

As always, you have to decide what to do. It seems like you have already made the decision to go back, and are looking for support. Whatever you choose, you have my support. But it seems everything now is bad, and everything will be better. I don't know whether that is the truth. The grass simply isn't always greener on the other side, even though it might seem so.

But it would help if you could be more open, either to friends, family, or anyone. So if moving back to your real family will get you to be more open, I think that is the choice to make. Education, work, money, a job, they are all important, but only because they are there to make it easier to live a happy life. Happiness is what matters, and if moving back will make you even the slightest bit more happy, it is worth it.

If I recall correctly, you are also 18, and I would love to chat with you sometimes. You can find my email in my profile if you want that, maybe even such a thing as a virtual friend might help .

All the best!
Erik

Spaceman,

You have been given advice and options and they have all been given with kindness and caring. We are more then happy to support your decision, but give yourself some time to think this through before you knee jerk and then are sorry later.

How close are you to the family that is living with your Mother.........have you talked to your Mother?  You have said your Dad is the one you can count on most.............then ask him for a private date and time where just the 2 of you can talk and no one else is around.........go somewhere with him away from the house.

Being 18 is not easy, I know this but being 63 is not easy either. Please look into counseling, talk this over with your Dad.

I wish you peace and happiness.

Kitt