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Posted 1/22/2009 3:30 AM (GMT 0)
So, i'm new to this forum thing, almost having a panic attack while i do this, ha. But heres my story in short, i've been a drug user/addict for the past 4 years and was just recently released from my first substance abuse program, i was 18 days clean then. I've been dealing with depression(possibly bi-polar and other crap) for the past six and also dealt with ADD. I've tried medications, well-butrin, topamax, abilify, some other thing i can't remember, and trazedone. Currently i'm taking lamictal and seroquel. My problem lies here; I don't know what to do with myself anymore, i'm off drugs, which is good, health wise, but now what? I'm severly more depressed and i don't feel like my meds are doing enough. I'm becoming very reclusive  So, what i need to ask, is does anyone know what to do with this? What would help? What could possibly make this world living in?

Thank you for your time, I'm extremely embarrassed

Edit:

1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm).  Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

Please review the HW rules, thank you.

Kitt

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 1/21/2009 9:42:23 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/22/2009 4:50 AM (GMT 0)

Crass,

I am sorry you are not doing well, if you just got out of treatment, perhaps you need to go to a outpatient daily treatment program.  do you have a therapist and Pdoc?

I am sorry I had to edit your post per our rules.

I am going to post the crisis numbers here for you. Please do call and talk with someone if you start to fall deeper into the dark hole.

The US Suicide Hotline 1-800-784-2433

NDMDA Depression Hotline | Support Group. 800-826-3632

Suicide Prevention Services Crisis Hotline 800-784-2433

Suicide Prevention Services Depression Hotline 630-482-9696

Also please call your physician or 911 if you are feeling you are a danger to yourself.

AA:" Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow. Yesterday is gone forever, tomorrow is not yet here and Today is really all we ever have. We may have the memories of yesterday but it is over and so we do not need to continue to live in it. Well tomorrow is not here so it might be nice to set goals for tomorrow, or dream of what we would like it to be, but again it is not here yet so we can not live in it until it gets here. So we can only live in the here and now of Today. What a wonderful gift."

Welcome to HealingWell and please do seek medical help.  We are here to help you as a friend and you can talk to us anytime. 

Sincerely

Kitt

Posted 1/22/2009 6:20 AM (GMT 0)
crass, getting off drugs isn't eazy it may take more than one attempt and you will always have some urge to come back, despite all of this it is possible to live a normal life after stoping drugs, you have to be strong to do that, and find some new hobby or something to keep you buesy so you don't think about the drugs.. anything you like to do.. also prey for GOD as he can help you too :)
Posted 1/22/2009 8:30 AM (GMT 0)
Crass,

Kitt and Akram already said it, it is really hard to overcome depression on your own. Is there a possibility you can visit a doctor, counselor, or support group? They can be such a great help.

And for what to do. Of course a job would be nice, but that won't work so well if you are still feeling depressed. Are there things beside drugs that you used to enjoy? Like painting, drawing, music, repairing cars, carving wood, etc. You could make a list of those things, and see what still gives you joy today. To overcome depression it is important to smile often :-).

Take care Crass!
Erik
Posted 1/22/2009 4:07 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much everyone. It was really nice for someone to say something. I do see a therapist and attend some outpatient sessions weekly and a FCT (family crisis therapist). Thank for your advice and I can't wait to try
Posted 1/22/2009 4:44 PM (GMT 0)
I think your a strong person to overcome addiction.....Even though your still on the road that's a quality about you: strength....You were couragious in coming to this board and you will find a lot of warm caring people here....How long have you been on your current meds? You may need to give them time to work.....I would also suggest you tell your Dr about how your feeling.....You may feel a little stuck right now but you have so much to accomplish in having a new lease on life....I hope things will start looking up for you soon and hang in there, you will have better days I promise!
Posted 1/22/2009 5:17 PM (GMT 0)
I just want you to know that we are all here for you. You are a strong person. You have overcome a lot. Keep up the good work and stay with us. Like I said, we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/22/2009 8:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Crass, wow, i'm so inspired by you that you have gotten off the drugs. I have had several family members that have had the same battle as you. In time it gets better, my niece was on meth for years, now she is married has a wonderful daughter, and is doing so well, she can't even believe she was like that before. My sister in law sounds just like you. She has been battling depression too since getting off drugs, i'm hoping she can find her way too. Keep up the good work, I know you will find your way out of this, maybe you just haven't found the right meds yet, your in my thoughts.
Posted 1/27/2009 5:14 AM (GMT 0)
I'm really glad anyone has anything to say. Its crazy to think that i could inspire someone. I'm truly grateful and its a neat feeling to have that effect. i'm happy to say i have not done any opiates since i last overdosed, which was about 60 days ago! To answer wishdreamhope's questioni've been on my current meds for about 2 months now, close to that. I thought it would be working by now, i'm sure, though, the anhedonia doesn't help. But i'm getting a new band together, hopefully things will keep on rolling. there is still days i can't get out of bed or not sleep due to cravings and depression, but trying to be optimistic. I'm a big believer in the secret, i read it for a second time in rehab and strongly suggest it for others.

Thanks again,
Crass
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