Teenage Depression

Hi,

 

Okay, so a little about myself. I am 16 years old and I recently moved to a new state. I realize a lot of people will probably think my problems aren't that serious and I am just a complaining teenager, but I personally think it is more than that. I am overweight and have always been shy, and I have socializing issues. I have a few close friends back at home but I havent made any friends here and I feel like everyone hates me.

My mom is also a some times recovering alcoholic and its difficult to live with. Everything always feels like its harder for me than anyone else. I just want things to be better. I sometimes think about suicide, but I dont think i would actually do it because even if my family isnt perfect I live them and dont want to ditch them, but I'm really not happy and they dont see that or dont really care. I am also slightly paranoid and think everyone is talking about me, but a lot of the time they are laughing at me . I have talked to my friends a little bit about how I feel but I dont want to stress them out even more than they are, they have their own things to worry about. Plus, I always feel uncomfortable after I tell people something secret about me, I usually pretend everything is fine so people wont know I am depressed.

I am just hoping talking to someone I dont know will be better and more helpful and I hope it works. Thank you.

Hi Skillet,

First of all, welcome to HealingWell.  I think it is wonderful that you found us.  There are a lot of kind and understanding members here and we are happy to have you as part of our family.  I think talking to strangers like this is healthy, so you have come to a good place.

Here are some resources for you.  You did mention that you thought about suicide so I wanted to put these down for you.

National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)
Suicidal.com (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)
SuicidalTeens.com

I think it would be good for you to talk to a school counselor.  They could help guide you and be a good support system for you.  They would help you cope with your mom's alcoholism problems too.  My mom was a recovering alcoholic and it was hard living with her.  It puts a lot of stress on the family members at times.  Do you have any brothers or sisters?  I was wondering if you were the only one dealing with it.  Is your father supportive of you?  I didn't have a father at home and that made it that much more difficult.  I was the only child at home too. 

I hope that this has helped you some.  We have a lot of younger adults, your age, on the forum, so I think that you will feel right at home here.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

hugs, Karen

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Heej Skillet,

Welcome to HW! I can somewhat relate to you as well, as I am an 18-year-old and share the same thoughts as you about thinking what others are thinking. It can drive me mad. But look at yourself, are you always judging others, thinking bad things of them? Are you, when with friends, pointing at others? Are you constantly on the verge of laughing when a certain person walks by? For me, this wasn't the case. I wasn't laughing at others. And the truth is there are a lot, and I mean a LOT, of people that won't judge you. They either don't care or have a good heart, but so many others just don't mind how you look like. They won't judge until they know you.

A quote that I always tell to myself, is: "You wouldn't be so worried about what others might think of you, when you realize how little they do". I hope that is translated a bit well, but you get the point.

But as already been said, a therapist can work. Maybe there is someone at your school. And of course, venting here can help you. I told things here that I've never shared with anyone else, and it helped me a lot.

Skillet, take care, and all the best!
Erik

Skillet,

I am sorry that you are going through so much with your worries about your mom drinking again.  I can understand your fears.  My mom was an alcoholic and started drinking when I was young and it really scared me.  She stayed away from alcohol most of the time, but then used pills.  That was even scarier to me. 

Have you thought anymore about getting counseling through school?  There are school counselors that are pretty good, so that might be something that you would like to look into.

I hope that you can start having contact with your old friends.  That would be wonderful for you.

Keep us posted and let us know what is going on.

hugs, Karen

Hey Skillet, I'm Ellen, I'm 17

I actually used to be almost exactly like you, I really kept to myself and I was always afraid that people were talking about me, or laughing at me, or thinking about me in a bad way. And then when they actually were, it was ten times worse and I would feel worthless and stupid.

Then, slowly but surely, I started to realize that they weren't always thinking bad about me or talking about me, and when they were, it wasn't as big of a deal as I thought before. It's always annoying when people tell you "it shouldn't matter what people think", because they obviously don't go to high school. It really does affect you when people think poorly about you, but the thing you have to realize is that more than likely, it's not as bad as you think.

I was in the hospital a few weeks ago for depression and school avoidance (one reason I didn't go to school was because I was afraid of what the people there thought of me), and while I was there I went through something called cognative behavioral therapy (CBT). Basically, it teaches you that your feelings are a result of your thoughts about a certain situation. Like at school: If someone is whispering and looking at you, you think "Oh... they're talking about me. There must be something ugly about me today, they must think I'm weird, so on...", and then as a result you feel sad and embarrassed. What you've got to do is change the thought that effects the feeling... instead of always worrying and thinking "there's something wrong with me that they're talking about" you might change it to "oh, someone is noticing me, I wonder if they're saying something nice about me". It's hard to change the thoughts, but not as hard as you may expect.


High school is really tough, especially if you just moved and you don't have a good support system there. Just hang in there, and try to stay positive. I'm always here to talk, too!

--Ellen

Good Morning Skillet,

Glad to see you have received some advice from Ellen. 

I am going to post a site you may want to take a look at if you have not already been to it.  It is full of info and a site that may help you learn some tips to help you deal with the teen years.

You are not alone even though it may feel like you are.

We are here for you so stick with us but don't be afraid to take a look at this site:

http://www.golivewire.com/

IMHO support groups are a place for people to give and receive both emotional and practical support as well as to exchange information. People with health conditions, as well as their friends and families find support groups to be a valuable resource and get confirmation that their feelings are "normal", educate others, or just let off steam.  Joining a support group is joining a family .

You are not alone anymore.

Hugs

Kitt

it's a tough thing to be moved to a new school, without any friends. friends are important, you can try and make your own friends, I'm sure if u looked hard you can find good people, there is always both in every school, see if you can find them and get to know them maybe you can make some new friends. look how people behave in school and find those who seem pleasant to be around with, it's hard if your shy I know but you'v got to try and give it a shot. I hope things will work out for you :)

Skillit I just want to tell you something.Your famialy probably knows that you are depressed but just do not know what to do to help you so thay just pretend not to see it.I say this because two of my older sons deal with depression at a young age and I just had know idea what to do to help them.I Knew that both of them would not take medication if I got some for them so I just turned my head away.Sense then I went in to a deep depression when my twin died and I hurt myself very bad before I would admit how sick I was.I now take my meds. everyday and you would think that after seeing what I did to myself that my sons would get help but even though thay both know that thay are dealing with depression neather will take meds. for it.I am asking you to please try to talk to your mom about this and see if there is anyway for you to get some help.Your mom could probably use the same type of help.A lot of people who are depressed drink alot to(I did know I do not drink at all).GOOD LUCK and I will PRAY for you

Hello all, just wanted to put my two cents in ,im 48 years old happy father of two teens. stumbled onto this site looking for some info.to all you kids i feel your pain,if any of you have ever seen christopher titus stand up comedy thats almost a mirro image of my happy child hood.drugs,depression,alchole,sexual abuse

 mental illness,tragety,you know all the good stuff.i had little or probly no self esteem,very shy,thoughts of beeing very differnt,and feeling of suiside.wasnt a very tough kid,was ridiculed alot;dint get much respect probly a poster child for suiside.But i fought threw it ,always had this litte voice telling me i was differnt,previously these thougths scared me ,thinking maybe i was nuts.but as it turns out i was differnt, I was better.Better than some of my freinds that were all f  up.we'll i put it all together,got my crap together and started to live.So it can be done kids all that crap in high school thats making you feel bad and angry at the world forget it. keep telling yorself you can do it and you will.everyday you must get up and tell yourself somthing great about yourself it really will work. Life is really not so much about surviving the storm  as it is more about learning to dance in the rain.                                                ps.dont cheat yourself out of a good time in high school youll regret it.                                                                                         

Hey Depression Mods :)

Sorry to bug you but the link in Christopher 1 profile sig is a promotion. I deleted the one in the A/P forum :)

Have a nice day!