depressed husband

My husband was recently diagnosed with depression.  He is not happy with any aspect of his life - work, home, friends etc.  We have a 2 week old baby - when I told him that I was pregnant (which was planned) it's like a switch went off.  Suddenly, he became distant & sad.  He started saying that he was unhappy with his life and finally said that he was unhappy with his home life.  I knew he was unhappy with work, but didn't realize the extent of his unhappiness.  I love my daughter dearly and can't imagine life without her - but I had to ask him, if you were so unhappy, why did we decide to have a baby?  He said that he didn't realize how unhappy he was.  He and his therapist agree that the problem is not chemical and that changes need to be made.  He began talking about divorce - we've been together 15 years, I can't believe he wants to end it.  But, I told him that I would leave, he said no.  When I ask if he wants to leave, he'll say that he doesn't know what he wants, but he doesn't want to hurt me.  I've suggested marriage counseling - he agreed, but always has an excuse as to why he can't make the appointments.  I've been trying to be supportive, but don't know what else to do.  Does anyone have a similar experience - has anyone had a spouse, who has stood by you through depression - any advice? 

Thanks so much for your support.  I will definitely continue to make appointments.  I watched him give up all his hobbies - friends & listened to him complain about work.  I just never thought his unhappiness would impact our life together.  Hind-sight does suggest that our relationship would be next.  It seems the best course of action is to continue offering support.  Thanks for your advice - it is really nice to hear from people that understand!!!

Thank you so much!!!! I feel part of it is chemical because it has affected every aspect of his life. I'm sure part of it is not - there are lots of changes & responsiblities, which I'm sure add to it. I will e-mail you - I'd love more details. I feel horrible just sitting here doing nothing, but hoping - I want to do something!! I've been doing so much praying!!! And, will continue!

Joe,

I am sorry that I had to remove your email address. We do that for your own safety. Anybody who isn't a member can get it. If you haven't already, put it into your profile so people who are members can get it.

Sincerely, Karen

Hello Attie,
I am so sorry for your marriage problems, especially with a newborn. You really need to take care of yourself now too. I was wondering if he has always had depression problems, or this is something new. Was your marriage secure before. It does sound strange how it came on so sudden. Has he had a complete physical, on any new medications, or do you just think that the new baby trigered it. I am so hopeful that counseling works or they get some medication to help. I feel so sorry for you, I feel so depressed watching my son go thru his breakup, his depression is killing me, so I know how hard it is to watch something like that. It should be such a happy time in your life, i'm praying that you guys work it out. take care, Cathy

Thanks so much Karen it is so sweet of you to think of me, I have had all of my focus on my son, and it really has taken a toll on me. I worry that he will wreck his truck, or hurt himself, he doesn't seem like the type, but I am a worrier, always have been, but thanks for thinking of me, Cathy