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Posted 2/13/2009 1:21 AM (GMT 0)
I am 28 years old and for the past seven months have had severe depression.  I can't eat, i can't think, i can't remember things, i don'tsmile or laugh at anything (i mean NOTHING) im horrified to go into a store or do anything I just want to hide from everything and everyone.  It feels like my brain has stopped working and i cant even think anymore, i cannot function.  I tried to two weeks ago and was taken to the hospital by flight for life and spent seven days there which didn't help me any.  I got out and am now staying at my Dads house with him and my stepmom and neither of them understand depression and just tell me to pull my head out of my ass and that I am fine.  I have never had depression before and it has ruined my life.  I do nothing all day long i do absolutley nothing besides get up shower put my makeup on and do my hair which is exhausting in itself and smoke cigarettes.  I see a therapist once a week and i feel nothing from that and i was just put on neurontin yesterday for my panic attacks.  Has anyone else ever felt this bad?? I wake up and im in a full blown panic attack and it lasts all day long and I am sooo depressed nothing gives me the slightest bit of happiness my life is ruined and i feel like i am never ever going to get better.  Will this EVER go away will i EVER be normal again????  Can anyone please help me I am sooo alone I can't take it anymore...

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 2/12/2009 6:33:30 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 2/13/2009 1:32 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Sheriann,

Yes it will get better. At least you are still showering in the morning. When I get depressed, I don't even do that. I spent two years in bed due to depression and fibromyalgia. That was such a loss. But I couldn't face people either. And I know how you feel about not wanting to leave the house.

Try to get out for a short walk during the day. That really helps. It gets your endorphines going and that makes you feel better. Smoking just makes you more tired. I smoke too. I am trying to quit. But I am always trying to quit. I know that a walk would do me good, but it is icy. So I am stuck inside for now.

I hope that you feel better soon. Stick with us, we will help you as much as we can.

Hugs, Karen

National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)
Suicidal.com (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)
SuicidalTeens.com

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Posted 2/13/2009 1:42 AM (GMT 0)
are all of these feelings I am having from the depression??  Like my brain going crazy not remembering things etc?? I literally feel like i am going insane and losing my mind.  I haven't been able to walk this week because it is freezing outside.  When will this ever go away I truly cannot take feeling this way any longer and I don't know what to do or how to help or how to make these horrible feelings go away.  Im scared to death and am truly lost

Posted 2/13/2009 1:48 AM (GMT 0)
Sherriann,

Try some deep breathing for the panic. And some meditation if you choose. It really helps me. I get so that I wont even go to the door or answer the phone. I just don't want to talk to anybody. Feeling that way is normal for depression. And feeling confused and forgetful is too. Did the hospital give you any kind of medication to take. It would really help you, I think. You shouldn't have to suffer this way. I know that it is hard, I have been there. I understand how you feel. Just remember that it doesn't make you a bad person, you are just depressed. I would suggest counseling and medication. I do both and that really helps me too. If you don't get the results that you want, you just keep telling the doctor. There are many different meds out there, and there is something that will work for different people. Sometimes it takes a while, and sometimes it works right away.

I want to add some different websites to help you too if you ever go into that black hole again.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 2/13/2009 1:55 AM (GMT 0)
No they did not give me any medication to take because i have taken so many different medications and they have all made me very suicidal...so all i am on is neurontin which i just started yesterday to control my panic attacks.  How do I deal with this everyday all i want to do is stay in bed and not see or talk to anyone is this really ever going to go away i feel like i will be like this forever????

Posted 2/13/2009 2:33 AM (GMT 0)
Sherrian,

I got kicked off of chat, and when I tried to get back on, I got kicked off again and again.

I just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed it and I hope that it helped you some.

Luv and hugs, Karen.

I will try once more to go on...
Posted 2/13/2009 3:30 PM (GMT 0)

sherriann

Good Morning,  I have to tell you that I am proud of you for posting here in this forum to all of us and trusting us to help you.

Also, you posted " I do nothing all day long i do absolutley nothing besides get up shower put my makeup on and do my hair which is exhausting in itself and smoke cigarettes."

That comment tells me that you will make it through.... I have MDD and I have had it for 25 years..................I am prove as many of our members are that you can and you will make it through.

For almost 6 months I got up, dressed and the thought of washing my hair and putting on my face was just to much..........so I sat here and posted my heart out to the members of HW.  I did a lot of reading of other members posts and made it through by helping others. As I helped others I found ways to help myself.

There is a great book that may help you...........

Understanding Depression By Patricia Ainsworth.  Also check out our resources on the right side of this post.............You will find tons of info re depression.

Again, keep putting on that make up and know that you will make it through...........just belief.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


 

Posted 2/16/2009 12:00 AM (GMT 0)
ok i truly cant take it i cant move i cant see straight i havent eaten in almost five days my brain feels like its going crazy i feel crazy completely insane i cannot function i feel sick and dizzy and honestly like a total freak what is happening to me can someone please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 2/16/2009 12:14 AM (GMT 0)
Sherriann i may not be old & experianced but I know that you have to get everything that's bothering you off your chest- i spent 4 hours crying with my boyfriend yesterday- some valentines day!
and most importantly you're NOT a freak, feeling like that is normal, everybody gets like that, and if you feel truly like you cant function maybe you should call somebody? do you have siblings or anybody close to you? if you need to chat, there is always somebody to listen.
love to you and try to stay strong! xxx
Posted 2/16/2009 12:16 AM (GMT 0)
yes but none of them understand or listen to me they all think i am crazy andi feel crazy i cant take it  i cannot take it anymore!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 2/16/2009 12:20 AM (GMT 0)
you're not crazy, honestly. if there is anything bothering you, would you like to share it? there's people here who've been through the same, and it might help. just know you're not crazy. x
Posted 2/16/2009 12:23 AM (GMT 0)
Sherriann,

I can go into chat for a while if you want to talk. I will wait for you there.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 2/16/2009 12:49 AM (GMT 0)
Sherriann,

I am really worried about you. I waited in chat for a while, but don't know if you read my post. I am going to get you some numbers to call just in case you can't take it. I know how you are feeling, so hang on sweetie, I will check my computer periodically, also know that you can email me any time.

Hugs, Karen


National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)
Suicidal.com (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)
SuicidalTeens.com
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Post Edited By Moderator (Admin) : 9/28/2009 3:54:12 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 2/16/2009 12:51 AM (GMT 0)
Sherriann, just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you.
Posted 2/16/2009 5:09 AM (GMT 0)
Sherriann,

We are all so worried about you sweetie, please be careful and get back with us so that we know that you are okay.

We are all praying for you.

Luv and hugs, Karen
Posted 2/16/2009 8:20 AM (GMT 0)
i have done extensive research online for anything to help....i came across this http://www.howtobeatdepression.com/story.htm

and bought it online it is an e book so it instantly downloads to your computer i have been reading it for almost four hours it is from a man that sufferred severe depression and sounds so similar to mine i need some hope just the smallest bit of hope to get me through each minute helps and im running out praying this book will help me....

Posted 2/16/2009 11:10 AM (GMT 0)
sherriann ...
i'm depressed. i shower. i brush my teeth. make up is too much for me. i can't
find my comb. i don't go out.i eat anything sweet. i puff on cigarrettes.
did that book help you? did he say anything that will help me?
pam
Posted 2/16/2009 1:52 PM (GMT 0)
sherriann ~
your symptoms are much like those of attention deficit disorder.
it is the artist's illness ~ all creative people throughout history have had it.
well, maybe not ALL.
it's a difficult diagnosis to get.
it's worth a try.
there is medicine for it that your doctors might not prescribe - your docs
might not even know what it is.
i swear, my diagnosis and treatment kept me from sleeping under the bridge
or something.
ADD/ADHD
there's one book with an interesting title - I'm Not Crazy, Lazy, or Stupid by
Sari Solden.
check it. OK?
i can't take the meds anymore because i have chronic pain.
pamela

Post Edited (Pamela Neckpain) : 2/16/2009 7:48:21 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 2/16/2009 6:10 PM (GMT 0)
Sherriann,

I recently found out that neurontin can cause suicidal thoughts in some people. You might want to talk to the doc about that. Just thought I would let you know.

I am glad that you found the book to down load. That is wonderful. I hope that it helps you. Keep on trying. You can beat this. And we are here to help you.

Luv and hugs, Karen

PS Pamela, thanks for the letting us know about the book.  I might check this one out.  It sounds like I feel.  Thanks.

Posted 2/16/2009 6:30 PM (GMT 0)
Sherriann

Hey there, there are lots of self help books that may work better for you.  I know how you feel, I have been there and fought back more then once in my life and watching someone else go through it is sad for all of us that understand depression.

IMHO, you really do need to find a therapist, a outpatient therapy of some sort or have those meds looked at ASAP.

CBT is excellent but I think it was alread mentioned as well as the online free course.

A new one is e-couch also free and a program from Moodgym.

http://ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome

Here is the link, you may find it helpful to work the program.

Take care and gentle hugs.

Kitt

 

Posted 2/16/2009 7:29 PM (GMT 0)
SherriAnn,
Karen's right about the Neurontin. There was a large class action suit a while back b/c it didn't even used to be labeled as a side effect & many people were attempting or dying b/c they started the drug when they weren't even the slightest bit depressed & it ran them into the ground. I had to stop it b/c I got that as a symptom. 72 hours after quitting it, the suicidal thoughts went away -- plus, I had more energy... a LOT more energy :)

Now I am on a low dose of Lyrica. It is more expensive if you don't have insurance, but it sounds like you do. I really love it. It helps with pain & with my thoughts. I take 50mg at bedtime & it helps me sleep. I have started taking B-12 in the morning b/c I have been having a bit of a hard time myself lately. They really do help me.

Post Edited (Frances_2008) : 2/16/2009 5:10:41 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 2/16/2009 7:54 PM (GMT 0)
getting by,

Yes, ADD is really fairly common in adult women. ADHD men usually get into
some kind of trouble and are a lot more visible. We women just turn gray, dull,
and kinda lost.

I worked a lot on the ADD forum and learned so much in the two years that I was
there.

ADD caused my migraine headaches and IBS so bad that I couldn't really go out
of my house for three years. I went to a new psychiatrist and was diagnosed
with Anxiety & Depression immediately. I didn't have Anxiety or Depression!
When I started taking
the medication for ADD, my IBS and headaches went away overnight. I went
around thinking I was a walking, talking miracle for awhile.

I am not recommending Sari Solden's book. (It just had a catchy title and was
one book of many on the subject) It's a good book though.
Dr. Hallewell (spelling?) is the best author on the subject, I think.

I have to stop this post here because I see that I'm getting wordy. I think any
woman who smokes is suspect. Nicotine giving a jolt to the brain and kinda
helps. (While it's killing us, of course)

I'm rooting for you Sherriann. I have felt like you feel - maybe I do now. Sherriann,
let's hear from you.

Pamela

ADD/ADHD causes a great stir of controversy. Man, does it!

Post Edited (Pamela Neckpain) : 2/16/2009 1:01:26 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 2/16/2009 8:17 PM (GMT 0)
Pamela,

I smoke too. I had quit for four years and then started again. I have been smoking since I was 13 and am 50 now. So that is a long time. I know that I should quit, but it is like a crutch for me. I just wanted to share that.

As for ADD, I have fibromyalgia, so I get fibro fog, which I believe is similar to it. I have a hard time focusing on things. But I get by. I take so many medications that it is stressful on Saturday nights when I have to fill up my pillbox. Wow, the stress. But when it is done, on Sunday mornings, I am glad.

Frances, I read about the neurontin. Also was Lyrica, Tegretol, Topamax, Lamictal, Keppra and Depakote. But this just says it can cause suicidal thoughts, I don't think that it is that way for everybody, but for some. I am glad that your medications work well for you and I hope that they continue.

I hope all have a great day.

Luv and hugs, Karen
Posted 2/16/2009 10:34 PM (GMT 0)
 went to my Intensive Dual Diagnosis Treatment Evaluation today...they asked a lot of questions and think they are going to put me in a therapy group or something three times a week as well as seeing my regular therapist once a week.  They also started me on Effexor XR which I pray is the answer to my chemical imbalance.  I do not have ADD or ADHD I have clinical depression with a major chemical imbalance in my brain that needs to be treated.  Neurontin has a very very low risk of giving you suicidal thoughts if you look it up as well.  I'm going to continue to read how to beat depression go on walks try my best to eat and pray to god this medication is the right one for me and that i can be back to my normal self in several weeks.  it would be a miracle and i am very hopeful...

Posted 2/16/2009 10:40 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sherriann,

You sound so much better today. I am happy that you have therapy set up. It sounds like you feel a lot better since yesterday.

I take effexorXR and take abilify with it. The combination of the two plus the xanax works well for me. I hope that the effexor works for you too.

Best wishes my friend

Hugs, Karen
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