No Motivation!!!

I just need to vent and am so glad for these boards.  I have been dealing with depression, on and off, for quite some time.  Since my forties, it seems to have gotten worse.  Like a lot of other people, I am coping with financial problems right now and wondering what I am going to do with the rest of my life, at age 54!  I still look pretty good, but I am getting to the point where I feel I have nothing to look forward to.  I have been a legal secretary for my entire life and it was not something I chose, but rather fell into.  Last year, after almost becoming homeless, I inherited some money from a trust fund, which came at just the right time.  I have been trying and trying to think of something I can do that I really enjoy, but I have two misdemeanors on my record, both involving alcohol.  I really love to drive and thought about cab driving or driving an 18-wheeler!  But, I have a DUI back in 2002 and in 2001, a public intoxication.  Right now, I am delivering pizza, and I only work 20 hours or so a week.  I have about $28,000 in savings and am trying to decide what to do!  If anyone has any suggestions, please post.

I have been lying aorund my house watching TV and have not even showered in two days!!!  I can't get up the motivation to even get in the shower and go to the gym or outside.

I really don't want to go back on antidepressants because they really didn't help me;  5 htp is helping me sleep well, but it's the motivation factor I can't seem to overcome.

I have been looking into selling on ebay or starting a business that way.  One thing I know for sure:  I do not EVER want to set foot in a law firm again!!!!

Thanks, Karen. Attorneys are rather difficult to work for, unless you just chance upon one that is actually nice. My ex-boss threw phone messages at me, screamed at me (mostly when under stress), and belittled and humiliated me. I have worked for some nice ones, but have really given up trying to find the right fit in this field. The way law firms have downsized now is by having one secretary work for 3, 4, and sometimes, 5 attorneys! At my last job I was doing everything an attorney does, except go to court. I really felt cheated and underpaid, and this does not include the verbal and mental abuse I had to endure. No, I am not whining...these are the FACTS!

sillysundy you sound like me. That's another thing my husband and I are always fighting about. My lack of motivation, my lack of doing even basic cleaning around the house, stuff like that. He gets upset when I look at him and tell him I know. I know I've got to change and become more motivated and do stuff besides watch tv and play on the computer all day but I just can't or don't know how. I'm going to try something new and just try and do one thing around the house every day. Even if it's just run the sweeper. Just something because I really feel like I'm in jeopardy of loosing it all.

Karen I'm going to check out that moodgym too

Karen are you using or have you used moodgym yourself? Seems interesting so far.

So glad you are having a better day!! I'd love to join a gym for motivation and to loose some pounds but it's not possible moneywise. I do plan on starting to walk more when the weather gets nicer. I'm not a cold weather fan and living where I live alot of people don't even shovel sidewalks and I'm not about to walk on the road.

It may sound silly but I kinda started walking some at work last night. I work in a factory as a machine operator 3rd shift (midnight to 8 am) so I started doing laps between my end of the machine and the other end. I counted and it's 122 steps from one end to the other one way. I did 3 laps ;) Like you said, start small.

What kind of stuff are you planning on selling on ebay?